Lolo Jones: Patria's social conservative role model

The just-concluded Games of the XXX Olympiad, aka the 2012 Summer Olympics in London have given Patria a new role model for social conservatism: American track and field athlete Lolo Jones. Although she didn't win a medal in her 100 meter hurdles event, by publicly proclaiming that she is still a virgin and intends to remain so until marriage, Ms. Jones - along with New York Jets quarterback Tim Tebow - has become a gold-medal role model for Patria's youth and an example of the wholesome, clean-cut social conservative values that Patria is attempting to inculcate, particularly among the religious-right rump in Congress consisting of the Family Values, Chastity and Incel Parties, as well as the Hindu traditionalists who have been playing the "modest dress for women:" card.

"It's just something, a gift that I want to give to my husband," she said. "But please understand this journey has been hard. If there's virgins out there, I just want to let them know, it's the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. Harder than training for the Olympics, harder than graduating from college, has been to stay a virgin before marriage."

At least one caller on the Jim Rome show had the take that if Ms. Jones could have gotten laid during the Olympics it would have helped her win a medal. (She finished fourth - the worst place to be for an Olympic athlete, as your only hope to backdoor into a bronze medal is for one of the medalists to be DQed or fail a doping test.) Other callers, e-mailers, texters and posters on Jim Rome's Facebook and Twitter pages noted that it's hard, indeed almost impossible, for Olympians not to score off the field, given that sex was rampant in the Olympic Village and condoms were handed out to athletes as if they were candy (or steroids). As Jim Rome says, sex is the all-time undefeated undisputed heavyweight champion of the world. But Ms. Jones is ahead on points going into the 15th round of the title bout.

Ms. Jones has no plans to retire. She has already set her sights on the 2016 Rio Olympics.

Perhaps Lolo Jones should date Tim Tebow. See dictionary of metaphorical phrases for "the blind leading the blind". But don't bet on it. "I'm pretty sure I'm just going to invite (Tim) Tebow to church," Ms. Jones said. "It's a 100% way not to get rejected."