Hot-button issues in Patria

The following are a some of the hot-button issues in Patria as the election campaign begins:

• The Great Recession. Like virtually every country in the world, since the summer of 2008 Patria has been hit hard by arguably the worst economic crisis since the Great Depression. The Amrita Party's failure to deal with the imploding economy and millions of lost jobs was responsible in large measure for the re-establishment of the SRM.
• The trillion-rupee bailout of Patria's auto industry. Should Patrienish Motor Works go the way of GM or Chrysler?
• A rising tide of buy-Patrienish protectionism. The legacy of lost jobs, outsourcing and offshoring are reason enough for the continuing fight against free trade and globalism.
  
• The pure teachings of Hinduism vs. a more broad-based New Age spirituality (i.e. the Path of Transcendence, favoured by the Amrita and the SRM, vs. the Chakra Party's Path of Transformation).
• The revival of the old Patrienish language, particularly a version of "classic" Patrienish, containing many Sanskrit loan-words, rather than a more colloquial version of Patrienish that leans more toward Latin or Romance-based derivations, as well as English borrowings.
• The proliferation of the black market to elude the official exchange rate of 37.5 Patrienish Rupees to one U.S. dollar.
• Government funding to support Hatha Yoga as the national sport versus the popularity of baseball and hockey as spectator/pop culture sports.
• The trend toward low-scoring, boring, clutch & grab, neutral-zone trap play in the Patrienish Hockey League, which has yet to adopt some of the NHL's measures such as shoot-outs to decide tied games.
• Return to "back to basics" education: adoption of the "gurukulam" curriculum in elementary schools, including compulsory instruction in yoga, Sanskrit language, Vedanta philosophy, meditation, etc., and requiring all school cafeterias to serve vegetarian lunches.
• The continued popularity of the rightist, macho National Union. National Unionists are debating whether to move closer to U.S. Republicans although Rush Limbaugh would likely scoff at the NU's made-in-Patria brand of populist conservatism combined with "manly values".
  
• "Law and Order" issues, particularly incarceration in boot camps for teenage punks, revival of corporal punishment in schools, and the Federal District of Castoropolis' adoption of the Giuliani-era New York City method of crime deterrence: get tough on jaywalkers, graffiti artists, etc. in the hope of deterring serial rapists, axe-murderers, etc. The broken-window theory of crime fighting has been propounded by the National Union-dominated government of the Federal District for well over a decade with no appreciable reduction in either violent crimes or petty scofflaws.
  
• The need for a year-round session of the Congressus Patriaë, rather than the traditional September-to-June annual session with a 2½-month recess during the northern hemisphere summer. This is very unlikely to happen.
  

Congratulations to the Arboria Beavers - 2008-09 Kamala Cup champions!

The Arboria Beavers won Patria's equivalent of the Stanley Cup by defeating the defending Kamala Cup champion Caesarea Violets in a thrilling series that went the full seven games. The Castoropolis Centurions continue their claim of being the Toronto Maple Leafs of the Patrienish Hockey League, having missed the playoffs for the fourth consecutive seasion!