Chakra Party - no gurus, just right!

A New Age party that burst onto the scene in 1990 with the demise of the mainstream centrist parties and Patria's spiritual re-awakening of 1989-90, the Chakra Party was the SRM's chief rival for the Hindu vote during the 1990s. While the SRM stands solidly behind pure, unadulterated Hindu teachings, the Chakra Party advocates a broader New Age spirituality - partially Hindu-based, but also drawing from other Eastern traditions such as Tibetan Buddhism - as well as practical transformation in one's everyday life rather than rigid adherence to gurus, Hindu dogma and rituals. The Chakra Party's 1998 campaign slogan was "Transformation not Transcendence!", referring to transforming one's life in this world, in this lifetime, rather than transcending one's everyday existence in an attempt to live in some kind of other-worldly nirvana. For a discussion of the path of transformation v. the path of transcendence, and why the latter is unlikely to bring about personal growth or inner peace, it is recommended to read The Path of Transformation by Shakti Gawain.

The SRM and Chakra Party were bitter rivals during the '98 and '02 election campaigns, accusing each other of being full of "out-of-touch pandits, gurus and sadhus" and "spaced out New Age wannabes" respectively, but after the elections, they patched up some of their differences in order to present a united front against the National Union's macho, not to mention the secular humanism, atheism and agnosticism propounded by the Greens, Libertarians, Rationalists, Social Democrats and the other loose ends of Patria's political party smorgasbord. In 2002 the Chakra Party was hit even harder than the SRM by the new Amrita Party. With only eight seats in the 47th Congress, down from 84 in the 46th, the Chakra Party was reduced to a mere rump. But the Chakra Party rebounded strongly in 2006 to take 48 seats in the 48th Congress. The Chakras do not dislike gurus per se, but strongly oppose the guru-centric personality cults such as found in the Amrita Party; hence the slogan "No gurus, just right!" The party takes its name from the chakras, the seven centers of energy and consciousness within the body, according to yogic philosophy.

National Union - Where a man belongs!

A long-established small-c conservative party that was somewhat centrist and bland (think Ontario's Progressive Conservative governments during the heyday of Leslie Frost, John Robarts and William Davis), the National Union dominated Congress from the 1930s until 1970. After being hammered in the 39th Congress elections and fading into obscurity in the 1970s, the NU re-defined itself in the 43rd Congress campaign of 1986 as "The Man's Party", valuing "Pride, Tradition, Commitment to Excellence". Ever since then, the NU has strongly challenged the Hindu parties by standing for pure, unashamed "manly values" and no-nonsense Law-and-Order. "Tough on crime, tough on welfare cheats!", "Zero tolerance, maximum penalties!", "Top dog for real men", "Forged in the fire, tungsten tough!", "Testosterone in your balls = National Union on your ballot!", "Law and order, tooth and nail" are among the alpha-male-pandering slogans the NU has trotted out over the past two decades. The NU abhors welfare and social programs ("the man's way: Personal responsibility and self-determination!") and adores tough-as-nails male role models like the nicotine-fueled macho Marlboro Cowboy (indeed, the NU even used the slogan "National Union men are cigarette smoking tough!"), John Wayne, Ronald Reagan, and even Margaret Thatcher. The NU considers Thatcher an honorary male, who earned her y chromosome in the Falklands War! In response to 9/11, the NU added "Win the War" to its law and order, tough-guy platform. For the 2002 election campaign, the NU whipped up propaganda for George W. Bush's war on terror, promising to be as tough on terrorists as on petty thugs, advocating torture and public executions. But in 2006, the NU abandoned its cheerleading for Gee Dubya and condemned the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan as unwinnable wastes of manhood ("real men don't die in needless wars overseas, but fight crime at home").

The NU even despises cat owners as wimpy, effeminate men: "the NU is not for pussycats. Or for men who prefer cats to dogs when it comes to animal companions. National Union men own big dogs like rottweilers and pit bulls!"

Since 1998, when the NU took a majority of seats in the Federal District of Castoropolis, the NU has played the broken-window theory of law enforcement to the hilt in Patria's capital city. Jaywalkers, litterbugs, subway fare evaders, panhandlers and other petty quality-of-life scofflaws have been ruthlessly prosecuted and jailed (some luckless jaywalkers in downtown Castoropolis even wound up with 30 days in the slammer) in an effort to deter the murderers, rapists and al-Qaeda wannabe's. "Today's jaywalker = tomorrow's terrorist" was one of the NU's slogans. The NU also advocates racial profiling for public safety and has instituted a dress code in Castoropolis. For the benefit of visitors to Patria's capital, the following are the main points of the dress code:

• No do-rags or bandannas
  
• No cornrows, dreadlocks or other non-standard male hair styles
• No baggy jeans or cargo pants
  
• No hooded sweatshirts
• Baseball caps must be worn facing forward
• No stocking caps, unless temperature is below 0ºC/32ºF
• No excessive "bling bling" (jewellery), such as oversize crucifixes or Nike pendants.

Have you spanked your kid today? The National Union supports corporal punishment, including caning or strapping in school.

It doesn't get any tougher than the National Union. Tough times, tough choices, tough men!

Spiritual Regeneration Movement - fighting the recession with Hindu dharma

In some ways resembling India's Bharatiya Janata Party, the Spiritual Regeneration Movement (SRM) is Patria's original Hindu fundamentalist/nationalist/revivalist party. The Spiritual Regeneration Movement can trace its history in Patria back to the hippies, flower children and counter-culturists of the 1960s, who, like their counterparts in the U.S., Canada and Europe began to study yoga, Hinduism, ISKCON's Hare Krishna and Maharishi's Transcendental Meditation. From these humble beginnings, the SRM received its charter as an official political party in 1989. As the Dharmic Revolution was unfolding in 1989-90, the SRM contested its first elections to the 44th Congress and helped to put the final nail in the coffin of the liberal, secular parties that had ruled Patria for more than a century. The SRM is founded on the teachings of the Vedas, the Bhagavad Gita, Patanjali's Yoga Sutras, the Devi Mahatmyam, 19th century Hindu reformers and missionaries such as Ramakrishna and Vivekananda, as well as the many modern-day gurus, saints and divine beings.

Over the past two decades. the SRM has spearheaded efforts to make Yoga Patria's national sport and Sanskrit one of the official languages, but has failed in its attempt to make Patria 100% vegetarian or at least to outlaw the eating of beef. Yes, you can get a Big Mac or Whopper in Patria, but not for lack of effort on the part of the SRM to ban McDeath's, Bugger King and other U.S. beef-guzzling fast food joints!

The supporters of the SRM are the front line of Patria's spiritual warriors, standing shoulder to shoulder to defend Hinduism, not only as a religion or spiritual path, not only as a recession-resistant shelter from the economic storm, but as the bulwark of Patria's cultural identity.

SRM-Amrita Party merger and split - Although both the SRM and Amrita Party consistently denied rumors of a merger during the 2002 election campaign, on May 1, 2002 the two parties agreed to a de facto merger that gave them 113 seats and a comfortable lead over the National Union in the 47th Congress. The SRM and Amrita retained nominally separate identities, i.e. members of Congress could identify either as SRM or Amrita if they choose, but the parties had a single platform and national office. The combination was known as "SRM-A". For 2006 the SRM-A officially merged and campaigned for the 48th Congress as a single party, the Amrita Party of Patria. The SRM was officially defunct as of June 30, 2006. In late 2008 amid the cratering economy, rumors began to re-surface that the SRM would be re-established. In April 2009, to almost no one's surprise, the SRM was officially resurrected and entered the race for the 49th Congress as a new party. Announcing its split from the Amrita Party, the SRM particularly slagged the guru personality cults: "...the SRM is not drawn to the personality cult that often surrounds gurus who have become celebrities in the West, gurus who have beome multi-millionaires by milking their mostly Anglo-Saxon and Jewish devotees, or gurus who have turned out to be fakes, abusers, or sexual predators. We have the greatest love and admiration for Amma, indeed many members of the SRM consider themselves devotees of the Hugging Saint, but we believe that the Amrita Party has failed to adequately deal with the economic downturn that began in 2008."

During the campaign, the SRM may become known as the Swadeshi Regeneration Movement. Taking the Third Session closing message to heart (see blog entry for June 26, 2009), the SRM has promised to fight the recession on a platform of strict protectionism, with a neo-Gandhian "swadeshi" spin. According to a recent SRM communiqué: "...the SRM will stand behind the protectionists. We will stimulate Patria's economy by voting in favor of tariffs and duties on cheap mostly Chinese-made goods, thereby encouraging domestic production of consumer goods of equal or better quality. We believe in self-sufficiency and domestic production of consumer goods and services. The SRM will support economic stimulus packages in order to re-open the shuttered factories and re-establish Patria's manufacturing industry. Say no to made-in-China. SRM holds the key to recovery!".

Watch for the SRM, Amrita and Chakra Parties to pull out negative campaign ads and other non-violent heavy artillery as they go head-to-head (or crown chakra-to-crown chakra) with each other for the hearts and minds of Patria's Hindu, New Age and Eastern-spirituality-in-general voters.

Amrita Party - Mother's love in the 49th Congress

[Blogger's note - in the weeks to come, this site will present brief profiles of the parties that hold seats in the 48th Congress and are campaigning for the 49th Congress. These party profiles will replace the individual parties' pages on soon-to-be-defunct Geocities.]

The Amrita Party of Patria was established in August 2001 as the offering of Patria's devotees of Her Holiness, Mata Amritanandamayi Devi, known as "Amma", "Ammachi" or simply Mother to millions of devotees worldwide who revere her as a divine being, guru, and spiritual mother.

Ammachi herself even holds a seat in Congress -- though she has never held public office in her native India -- representing "God's own Country" in Patria, the Precinct of Arboria.

The original intent of the Amrita Party was not to draw Hindu nationalist votes away from the Spiritual Regeneration Movement (SRM) and New Age votes away from the Chakra party but to complement those parties in order to form an unbreakable spiritual bulwark against the secular right wing, the Rationalists and the National Union. Following the 2002 elections in which the Amrita Party and SRM won 83 and 30 seats respectively in the 47th Congress, the two parties united under the banner of SRM-Amrita (SRM-A) and were formally merged as the Amrita Party of Patria for the 2006 election campaign. The Amrita Party currently holds 88 seats in the 48th Congress, and has been able to push through legislation by forming an uneasy coalition with the Chakra Party, as well as the Greens, Lilith Party and other so-called "progressive" parties.

Among the highlights of the Amrita Party's achievements since 2002:

• Inclusion of Ammachi's teachings and bhajans (devotional songs) in the curriculum of Patria's gurukulam schools.
• Opening of a Patrienish branch of the Amrita Institute of Medical Sciences (AIMS) hospital.
• Establishment of a campus of the Amrita University in Patria.
• Establishment of a permanent Ammachi ashram in Patria, in Karunanagar, Caesarea, easily accessible via the Caesarea Coast Line of the Castoropolis and Caesarea Railways (CCR).
  
• Addition of Amrita Television to all basic cable TV services in Patria.

DISCLAIMER: The Amrita Party of Patria exists only in the unrecognized country ("micronation") known as the Inner Realm of Patria (Antarbhumi Ramrajya) and has no connection whatsoever with the MA Center, Mata Amritanandamayi Math, Amma Foundation of Canada, or any actual Amma-related organization in any recognized country of the world.