National Union - Where a man belongs!

A long-established small-c conservative party that was somewhat centrist and bland (think Ontario's Progressive Conservative governments during the heyday of Leslie Frost, John Robarts and William Davis), the National Union dominated Congress from the 1930s until 1970. After being hammered in the 39th Congress elections and fading into obscurity in the 1970s, the NU re-defined itself in the 43rd Congress campaign of 1986 as "The Man's Party", valuing "Pride, Tradition, Commitment to Excellence". Ever since then, the NU has strongly challenged the Hindu parties by standing for pure, unashamed "manly values" and no-nonsense Law-and-Order. "Tough on crime, tough on welfare cheats!", "Zero tolerance, maximum penalties!", "Top dog for real men", "Forged in the fire, tungsten tough!", "Testosterone in your balls = National Union on your ballot!", "Law and order, tooth and nail" are among the alpha-male-pandering slogans the NU has trotted out over the past two decades. The NU abhors welfare and social programs ("the man's way: Personal responsibility and self-determination!") and adores tough-as-nails male role models like the nicotine-fueled macho Marlboro Cowboy (indeed, the NU even used the slogan "National Union men are cigarette smoking tough!"), John Wayne, Ronald Reagan, and even Margaret Thatcher. The NU considers Thatcher an honorary male, who earned her y chromosome in the Falklands War! In response to 9/11, the NU added "Win the War" to its law and order, tough-guy platform. For the 2002 election campaign, the NU whipped up propaganda for George W. Bush's war on terror, promising to be as tough on terrorists as on petty thugs, advocating torture and public executions. But in 2006, the NU abandoned its cheerleading for Gee Dubya and condemned the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan as unwinnable wastes of manhood ("real men don't die in needless wars overseas, but fight crime at home").

The NU even despises cat owners as wimpy, effeminate men: "the NU is not for pussycats. Or for men who prefer cats to dogs when it comes to animal companions. National Union men own big dogs like rottweilers and pit bulls!"

Since 1998, when the NU took a majority of seats in the Federal District of Castoropolis, the NU has played the broken-window theory of law enforcement to the hilt in Patria's capital city. Jaywalkers, litterbugs, subway fare evaders, panhandlers and other petty quality-of-life scofflaws have been ruthlessly prosecuted and jailed (some luckless jaywalkers in downtown Castoropolis even wound up with 30 days in the slammer) in an effort to deter the murderers, rapists and al-Qaeda wannabe's. "Today's jaywalker = tomorrow's terrorist" was one of the NU's slogans. The NU also advocates racial profiling for public safety and has instituted a dress code in Castoropolis. For the benefit of visitors to Patria's capital, the following are the main points of the dress code:

• No do-rags or bandannas
  
• No cornrows, dreadlocks or other non-standard male hair styles
• No baggy jeans or cargo pants
  
• No hooded sweatshirts
• Baseball caps must be worn facing forward
• No stocking caps, unless temperature is below 0ºC/32ºF
• No excessive "bling bling" (jewellery), such as oversize crucifixes or Nike pendants.

Have you spanked your kid today? The National Union supports corporal punishment, including caning or strapping in school.

It doesn't get any tougher than the National Union. Tough times, tough choices, tough men!