Last day on the campaign trail

The last day of Campaign 2010. The long, sometimes hard-fought, drawn-out 49th Congress campaign is about to come to and end. By law, all rallies, campaign speeches, broadcast advertising, and other electioneering must end at 11:59 PM tonight.

On the last full day on the campaign trail, the Diet Coke Partyers are hitting it hard, pushing the usual rightist and populist buttons. "Fight liberals & leftists!" "No socialized medicine in Patria!" (actually, Patria - like Canada, Europe, Japan, and most of the civilized world - has had a federally subsidized health care system for decades), "Cut taxes now!", "Ride the Diet Coke Party bus or get thrown under it!

The SRM is front and center at the Diet Coke rallies, with their "take back the economy" promises of non-violent resistance against globalism. The Three S's - Satyagraha, Swadeshi, Swaraj - are an integral part of the populist verbiage freely spewed out at Diet Coke Parties. They give the anti-government populists what they want to hear: hard-core economic nationalism and "freedom from China" rants. But there is a fair degree of dissension among the SRM caucus. The more moderate SRMers seem to be trending toward the Positive Possibilities.

And then there's the National Union, showing up at Diet Coke Parties with nooses in hand, promising to use them on murderers, rapists, pedophiles, and pretty much anyone convicted of a more serious offense than jaywalking or littering. What else did you expect from the NU besides an amped-up take-no-prisoners war on crime. Actually the NU will take plenty of prisoners, and even push "lock 'em up and throw away the key" law and order as a job creation scheme. Building prisons and hiring prison guards is one way to fight the recession!

The "sex is dirty" Chastity and Family Values Parties are also throwing in their lot with the Diet Coke Parties. What would you expect from fringe parties plugging old-school Christian conservative values straight out of Leave it to Beaver and Red-state America.

The Amrita Party, Chakra Party, and the rest of the Positive Possibilities bunch are also campaigning hard on the last day before the election, taking their message into Hindu temples, yoga studios, ashrams, and even nightclubs (Yoga in the Nightclub, literally taking the CD by Parvati out into the streets of Patria).

And finally, on the day before the election, the Jungle Party gained a potential new member of Congress. By winning the Hack-Off, Vinny Mac in Des Moines earned a bid for the Smack-Off and a chance for a Jungle seat in Congress.