Smoking as economic stimulus: start-smoking help line

While many countries, states and provinces have launched quit lines to help smokers kick the habit, such as the New York State Smokers' Quitline, Patria is taking the opposite tack. In the wake of the annual message to Congress urging that citizens of Patria take up smoking in order to stimulate the economy, Patria has launched a start-smoking help line: 1-800 NIC FITS.

1-800 NIC FITS. Because Patria is not stooping to the hypocrisy of governments that urge people to quit smoking but are only too happy to rake in tax revenue from sales of cigarettes.

1-800 NIC FITS. Because nicotine addiction can help to pull Patria out of recession and create jobs, from tobacco farmers to embalmers.

1-800 NIC FITS. Because every smoker who dies prematurely of lung cancer is less of a drain on the health care system.

1-800 NIC FITS. Because we couldn't have won World War II without nicotine addiction. Can you imagine Winston Churchill without a cigar?

Now before you fire off a comment such as "It's not helping kids, it's hurting them, Patria, and you shouldn't be talking about it on the blog man!", compare Patria's promotion of smoking as recession-fighting economic stimulus to Jim Rome's promotion of cockfighting as good, clean fun for kids and families. Do you really think that Patria wants anyone to kill themselves with this sick, smelly, filthy habit? If you don't get the jokes on the Jim Rome Show or in Patria, you have a problem with yourself.