Defending dharma: SRM and Amrita Party pledge to protect Patria's Hindu legacy

Inspired by a recent Hindu rally held in Amma's Indian home state of Kerala, the SRM and Amrita Party joined forces to organize a "Defend Dharma" rally in Vanarpuri (Forest City), the capital of Amma's adopted Patrienish precinct of Arboria. With a mere three weeks remaining on the campaign trail until election day, supporters of the SRM's call of "Patria first" and the Amrita Party's promise of "four more years of Mother's love" pledged to unite against the injustice, unrighteousness and discrimination plaguing society, to defend Patria's Hindu legacy and to take up the fight to protect Dharma in the 50th Congress as each of their life’s vow. Sri Vishvesha Tirtha, the 32nd pontiff of the Pejavara Math of the lineage of Sri Madhvacharya lit the lamp and proclaimed the time has come to unite to protect Sanatana Dharma. In his inaugural address, Swami said Hindu Acharayas (Teachers) should unitedly fight against the attack on Amma and the Amritananadamayi Math in the wake of the allegations contained in Holy Hell, the hug-and-tell book recently published by Amma's former chief of staff Gail (Gayatri) Tredwell. "Patria is united under a single flag - the saffron flag of Hindu Dharma, side by side with the red, white and blue national flag".

Patria is not Gilead: Social Democrats

In one of the strongest condemnations yet on the 50th Congress campaign trail, the Social Democrats denounced Patria's social conservative rump:

Patria is not Gilead. Patria is not, and will never be, a Christian theocracy. The Family Values and Chastity Parties cannot be allowed to be the tail wagging the socially liberal, Sanatan Dharma-based dog. Patria must move forward into the 2010s, not be dragged back to the 1950s. There is a reason why Family Values and Chastity parties hold only five seats in the 49th Congress and are not likely to win many more in the 50th: the voters of Patria are not buying your tired old "safe place for social conservatives" schtick. Patria is not willing to enforce "modest" dress codes on women or ban couples from kissing in public. There is no political will anywhere in Patria to criminalize abortion, homosexuality, pre-marital or extra-marital sex. Check your social mores at the door when you leave your church.

The Social Democrats are a traditional tax-and-spend liberal, left-leaning social democratic party, like the Democrats in the US or NDP in Canada. With 33 seats in the 49th Congress, they are more than a small niche party but not quite a major player like the SRM, Amrita or Chakra Parties. To use the NCAA March Madness terminology, the SD would be a mid-major party. And as college basketball fans know, Mid-Majors can make some noise in March.

Vatican plot against Amma?

Four more years for Amma? Not if the Vatican has anything to say about it!

As if Amma and the Amrita Party don't have to campaign hard enough in order to fight off the challenge of the macho National Union, and to forge sometimes uneasy alliances with the new-agey Chakra Party, old-school liberal Social Democrats, Jim Rome's Jungle Party clones, and even some of the moderate elements of the hard-core Hinduism-cum-economic patriotism SRM, they are now dealing with rumors that Opus Dei (in cahoots with the Vatican) is launching a campaign to discredit Amma.

Vishwa Hindu Parishad (VHP) International president Ashok Singhal on Friday [March 14] alleged that a secret agency under the Vatican Government was behind launching the malicious campaign against Mata Amritanandamayi and her Math. He told a news conference here that Mata was not only one of the top spiritual leaders of the country but a great spiritual figure venerated across the globe as well.

‘’There is a conspiracy against our mahatmas, sages and saints. Jihadi elements and fundamentalist forces have launched a malicious campaign. Some Communist organisations also feel satisfied in tarnishing Hindu spiritual leaders whenever they get an opportunity,’’ he said.

He urged the television channels in Kerala, especially the ones under the control of the jihadi elements and fundamentalist forces and the Left, to refrain from maligning Hindu spiritual leaders.

Whether in India or Patria, haters be hatin'. Particularly when it's election time!

Can Patria win the culture wars?

Pat Buchanan, patron saint of conservative culture warriors.

The so-called culture war - the battle between those values considered traditionalist or conservative and those considered progressive or liberal - is another battle front on Patria's 2014 campaign trail. Speaking at the 1992 Republican national convention, Pat Buchanan claimed that "there is a religious war going on in our country for the soul of America. It is a cultural war, as critical to the kind of nation we will one day be as was the Cold War itself." There is no lack of Buchanan paleo-conservatives in Patria who believe that old-school social conservative values such as opposition to feminism, homosexuality and abortion rights are endangered or simply no longer exist in Patria. But social conservatism in Patria goes beyond those right-wing talking points and hobby horses usually expounded by Republicans, whether mainstream GOP or Tea Party. Making Patria "a safe place for social conservatives" runs the gamut of throwing men in jail for patronizing prostitutes, agitating against pre-marital sex, returning to "1950s values" (whatever they were), imposing "modest" dress codes on women and banning public displays of affection between heterosexual couples. Same-sex couples too for that matter!

As Campaign 2014 moves into its final month, the "safe place for social conservatives" campaign appears to be running out of steam. The Supreme Court of Patria could overturn Patria's ban on gay marriage before election day or during the pre-inauguration transition. The death penalty, so beloved of right-wing law-and-order types, has barely registered on the 2014 campaign trail. Even the National Union is not wasting campaign time on bringing back the death penalty (as recently as 2010 the NU was promising to bring back public executions). Modest dress for women, presumably similar to what is on the books at Jerry Falwell's Liberty University, seems like something one might expect in a Christian theocracy, as if traditional Hindu women's attire such as a sari isn't modest enough. There is virtually no proof that the ban on public displays of kissing, necking and other displays of affection will help make Aspies, 40 year old virgins and other socially inept nerds feel more comfortable and safe on the streets of Patria.

Patria may be proudly politically incorrect, but it is not a Christian theocracy or a US Republican's wet dream, despite the best efforts of minor niche parties like the Chastity and Family Values Party.

"March surprise" as Congress takes pre-election break?

 In the US presidential election, which takes place in early November, an "October surprise" is news event deliberately created by the Republicans or Democrats in order to influence the election's outcome, such as rumors of a last-minute deal to end the Vietnam war in 1968 or to release the Iranian hostages in 1980. In Patria, with many more parties than America's bipolar political world, there is the potential for several March surprises. But they rarely happen on Patria's campaign trail. If there is to be a "March surprise" in 2014, rumors are swirling around the gay village in downtown Castoropolis that the Supreme Court of Patria could rule in favor of same-sex marriage, as a number of US states' laws against gay marriage have been overturned (even Bible Belt conservative Republican red states like Texas). If Patria's ban on gay marriage is found unconstitutional a month before election time, it would be quite a slap in the face to all those in the Chastity Party, Family Values Party and the Hindu right wing who have been repeating the same mantra election cycle after election cycle: Patria must remain a "safe place for social conservatives".

With six weeks and change until election day, the Fourth Session, 49th Congress (4·XLIX 2013-14) has adjourned for the traditional pre-election home stretch in order to allow members of Congress to campaign in their home precincts. Congress will re-convene a few days after April 19 for the also traditional lame-duck session that will adjourn sine die just as the workers finish building the platform on the Capitol stairs for the oath of office ceremony and the reviewing stands for the inaugural parade on June 30. The last item on the 49th Congress order paper is to ratify Patria's fiscal 2014-15 budget.