49th Congress, six months in office

Six months since Inauguration Day, really not much of substance has been accomplished. The 49th Congress continues to deal with the shaky economy, continuing the tax breaks and other economic stimuli passed by the 48th Congress earlier this year, particularly during the post-election lame duck session. But the lack of any substantial recovery (i.e. jobs being brought home from China and a reduction in the unofficial double-digit unemployment rate), has only strengthened the Diet Coke Party and the Swadeshi Ramrajya Movement. Note that Patria does not have mid-term congressional elections, but several Precincts will be electing new legislatures in 2012.

Patria's Congress congratulates its counterpart in the United States for voting to repeal "Don't Ask Don't Tell", allowing gays and lesbians to serve in the armed forces, the objections of the usual Christian America rightist dinosaurs and curmudgeonly homophobes such as Pat Buchanan notwithstanding. This horse left the barn in Patria back in the last century; gays and lesbians have been integrated into Patria's army, navy, air force and coast guard since the 1980s. The last frontier is to repeal the unwritten "don't ask don't tell" in Major League Baseball, the NFL, NHL and NBA -- not to mention the Patrienish Hockey League, All-Patria Football Federation and the Castorian and Lazurian Leagues (Patria's two baseball leagues). Any gay high school or college athlete who hopes for a professional career knows the unwritten rule to stay in the closet until his playing career is over, or even after his playing career if he wants a job as a coach or manager. There are no general managers in any of the major pro leagues who are willing to take the risk that Branch Rickey took in 1947 to challenge a very old so-called gentleman's agreement. Consequently, even in the second decade of the 21st century, an openly gay player would face an even tougher battle than Jackie Robinson.

Parvati's North Pole Journey: Inuit past and present in Resolute Bay

Parvati Devi: North Pole Journey - Day Three, Part Two:

"Day Three: Saturday, September 25, 2010, Part Two. The light in the sky is dull. It is just early afternoon. In just a month or so it will be..."

Parvati and friends visit the remains of a thousand-year-old Inuit village in Resolute Bay and cannot help but notice the irony in the community garbage dump being so close to this government memorial for people who were left here to make do, removed from their natural birth homes and familiar environment.

Parvati's North Pole Journey: the Thread of Pure Consciousness

As long as Parvati keeps posting these powerful and inspiring accounts of her North Pole journey, Patria will keep re-blogging!

Parvati Devi: North Pole Journey - Day Three, Part One: "Day Three: Saturday September 25, 2010Part One The Thread of Pure Consciousness I wake up to my second morning in Resolute Bay. It is the..."

"To me it takes way more courage to say I love myself than to say f--- you". - Parvati.

Christmas in Patria

Yes, there is Christmas in Patria. Dec. 25th is an official government holiday. And, no, it's not the tawdry, schlocky, over-commercialized greed-fest with little spiritual value that it has become in much of North America. Indeed, if Jesus could see what is being done allegedly in His name, he would throw the greed-mongers out of the malls faster than he threw the money-changers out of the temple! Practicing Christians in Patria can celebrate Christmas as the sacred celebration it is meant to be, free of the HO-HO-HO'ing, pressure to spend into the poorhouse, phony forced joviality, and all the commercial trappings that have little to do with Christianity. In Patria, you will not see Santa Claus, Rudolph, Frosty the Snowman, or other secular winter-fest stuff that has virtually no connection to the birth of a divine incarnation (or avatar) who is on the same level as Krishna or Rama. In Patria, the only Christmas songs you will hear on the radio are traditional carols such as Adeste Fideles (Latin version of O Come All Ye Faithful) that have as much spiritual value as any Hindu bhajan and actually mention the name of Jesus. Cruddy, sappy songs, and generic winter-fest songs that do not acknowledge the birth of a divine being are all but banned on Patria's airwaves. You know which songs are being referenced here. Horrid stuff that gets trotted out year after year beginning in late November, such as Jingle Bells, Jingle Bell Rock, White Christmas, Brenda Lee's Rocking Around the Christmas Tree, and arguably the most brutal Christmas song ever written: Jose Feliciano's Feliz Navidad. Santa Claus wouldn't dare show his fat butt in Patria. In fact, the only place you will see a picture of Santa in Patria is in the post office - among the posters of wanted criminals! Santa has been indicted in Patria for violation of labor laws. His workshop has failed to adopt equal-opportunity fair hiring practices, hiring only elves, and from the looks of it, only white male elves who are not paid overtime or allowed to join a union. Santa is also wanted on hate crime charges, for repeatedly stiffing Jewish children. Jolly as he may be, he is a notorious anti-Semite, and he also is not too fond of Muslims, Hindus or other non-Christian heathen swine. Not for nothing do his reindeer have Aryan names like Donder and Blitzen. Fortunately for the kiddies, Patria does not have an extradition treaty with the North Pole!

Patria Post issues an annual Christmas stamp, depicting a traditional Christmas image that those who actually celebrate Christmas as it was meant to be can relate to. See above for 2010 version, and visit the Patria Post site to view previous issues.

Merry Christmas in Patrienish is Anandí Xrístnascí. Note that in Patrienish, many words can and do begin with the letter x, which is a back-of-the-throat fricative, like Scots-English loch. There is even double-x in Patrienish, pronounced as "ksh", e.g. Laxxmí (Lakshmi).

Another installment of Parvati's North Pole journey

Parvati Devi: North Pole Journey - Day Two, Part Four - Lisa and Louisa:

Meghan and I meet with the Inuit elders and healers Louisa and Lisa on the second floor of the inn, on the soft chairs and sofa in the comfortable lounge. After a couple of minutes together, Sunanda and Rishi join us, soon followed by Satish... To my surprise, when I ask them about shamanism and the Inuit spiritual traditions, Louisa responds with a question: “Have you accepted Jesus into your life?”

Christianity has had a nice run for about 1900 years. But, U.S. conservative politics notwithstanding, it has run its course. And over the long haul Christianity has done more harm than good, particularly among indigenous people such as Canada's Inuit, who have been on the receiving end of centuries of forced conversions by missionaries who allegedly represent "civilization".

Patria is proud to be non-Christian. The Inner Realm is a place where Hindus, Pagans, New Agers, and of course Atheists/Agnostics may practice their religion (or lack of one) free from Bible-toting social conservatives.

Parvati's North Pole Journey, Part 2

GREEN MESSAGE FABRIC

"After about fifteen minutes on the gravel road driving out of Resolute Bay in Meghan’s dusty, grey van, we arrive at the ice on shore of the Arctic Ocean. Rishi jumps out of the warmth of the vehicle and into the harsh wind, video camera in hand, as Meghan, Sunanda and I step onto the rocky beach, each taking a piece of Satish’s long, green, silk fabric. Satish Sikha has traveled for the past two years and nine months all around the world collecting ecological messages from dignitaries, politicians, scientists and movie stars who signed this piece of eco-silk I now have in my hand..."

Parvati shares more experiences at the top of the world, unrolling Satish's giant green eco-silk banner and dropping in on a classroom of Inuit school kids.

Parvati Devi: North Pole Blog: Day Two, Part Two - Resolute, wit...

Patria is on blip.fm

Well it's not exactly Akashvani-Ramrajya (Radio Patria) per se, but the owner of this here blog is now a DJ on Blip. Click and listen. Some of Patria's favorite songs will be shared on Blip.

Note that the .fm in the URL (http://blip.fm/Keval) does not necessarily mean that the site is hosted on a server in the Federation of Micronesia.

Princeton University Band plays Patria's national anthem

It begins at 1:12 of this video clip, following some prayers by Princeton's gang of Chabad Lubavitchers.

Parvati in Punjabi

In an interview that was recently aired on Punjabi TV, Parvati shares some thoughts about Amma, Yoga in the Nightclub and her North Pole trek. She also reminds Indian youth not to abandon their culture. What's next up for this awesome, amazing friend of Patria? Perhaps Parvati will do an interview in Patrienish? (It's sort of like a cross between Latin and Sanskrit!)

Parvati's North Pole Journey, Part 1

Parvati Devi: North Pole Journey, Part 1: The Night Before We Le...:

How do you pack for a journey you have never taken, to a landscape that is dangerous, inhospitable and very, very cold? Parvati shares her experiences packing and preparing for her epic journey to the North Magnetic Pole. Please click on the above link and read it!

And what does this have to do with Patria, you ask? Is Parvati an elected member of the 49th Congress? No, she wasn't on any Precinct's ballot or party list last April 17th. But Parvati and her friends (Rishi, Sunanda, Pranada, etc., aka the "Earth Team") are very dear friends of Patria. As an intuitive healer, Parvati has developed a very evolved concept of an "Inner Realm" though, of course, she doesn't call it Patria.

Parvati Treks To The North Pole: It's a Family Affair

An air of excitement was felt in Resolute on the 27th Sept 2010. After Parvati returned from the North Pole she gave a concert at the Inn's North in Resolute.

Signs were posted, radio was promoting Parvati's concert in Inuktitut and people were buzzing with anticipation. It was the first ever concert performed there. Parvati performed some songs and played for the first time ever, to a live audience, her new song "Hear This Prayer", which she gave to the Earth at the North Pole. Amy and her friends performed Inuit traditional Throat Singing. Sam and Louisa played the Inuit drum.

In the clip below, Parvati and her northern family have some fun together to the tune of the "I AM" song (Day one life is fun, day two I am new...) from Yoga in the Nightclub. This song received a lot of airplay in Patria, particularly last June during the World Cup and the countdown to Inauguration Day.

Parvati & company safely home from North Pole

Parvati Devi: Returned from the North Pole

Parvati, Rishi and Sunanda (along with fashion designer Satish Sikha, who made the journey as far north as Resolute, Nunavut) have returned from their journey to the North Magenetic Pole, with quite a story to tell.

Parvati notes: "The message we carry back from everyone we met was unanimously the same: please tell the South that the ice is melting, the animals are fewer and we are suffering. I am left with a heavy heart, an ache in my soul seeing even more clearly and palpably the effect of our pollution and our cultural disconnect from the Earth. I feel charged with an even stronger connection to an immense, universal force that can help each one of us wake up, so that we may join together as one Earth family and create positive environmental change to benefit all."

Globalization fails to connect our hearts and minds - Amma's birthday message

Globalization fails to connect our hearts and minds « Amma, Mata Amritanandamayi Devi @ amritapuri.org: "

Delivering her 57th Birthday Address, Amma spoke about how despite the connectivity created via globalization, the world is still suffering. “Where have we gone wrong?” Amma asked those assembled. “By connecting the external aspects, the entire world is being reduced to a small village. However we’ve failed to pay enough attention to uniting the inner aspects, to connecting all of our hearts and minds.” Amma also spoke on the importance of cultivating respect for Mother Nature, the perils of alcohol and drug abuse, the need for abidance in dharma, the role of meditation and many other topics.

Amma delivered this speech at her home base in Kerala. But she might as well have said it on the floor of the 49th Congress in Castoropolis. By voicing opposition to globalization, the Amrita-led Positive Possibilities coalition has found some common ground with the Patria-first SRM and the Diet Coke Party gang who slammed free trade and globalization all through the 2010 election campaign.

Video Blog Sept 23, 2010 Parvati Trek to North Pole (Arctic Bay)

Not quite the North Pole, but about as far north as you can get in Canada and still have internet access.

Back to work in Congress

After the post-inaugural summer recess, Congress is back in session. The First Session, 49th Congress (1·XLIX 2010-11) kicked off yesterday and will sit until June 2011. Patria's 2010 election transition is now complete. The 49th Congress was elected on April 17, inaugurated on June 30, and finally gets down to official business on Sept. 20, the two-day Special Session on July 1 and 2 notwithstanding. Almost as fast a turnaround as the US Congress election cycle.

The struggling economy is high on the new Congress' order paper. The recession is over. Allegedly ended in June 2009. But it still feels like a recession in Patria and in many of the First World macronations. A double-dip recession is still a very real possibility.

Today, Sept. 21, has been designated by the UN as the International Day of Peace. As one of Parvati's songs goes, "if I want peace in the world I know it begins with me".

Go North! For healing the planet. For Amma's love.

As the First Session of the 49th Congress is about to get down to business after the post-inaugural summer recess, three dear friends of Patria, Parvati, Rishi and Sunanda, are journeying to the North Magnetic Pole in Canada's far north (about 200 km from the actual North Pole at 90ºN). They are making this trek in order to create awareness about the environmental devastation there - particularly the melting polar ice caps - and the effect that this is having on all of us.



Parvati, Rishi and Sunanda are going to the North Pole to help create awareness and to do some prayers for the restoration of the health of Mother Earth. Their mission is based on the fact that we can create positive change. It is not doom and gloom and focused on the negative. The approach is hope-based. Positive possibilities all the way.

If you are a devotee of Amma (in Patria, aka the Hon. Member from the Precinct of Arboria, House Leader of the Amrita Party), note that they have passed the word along to Amma via Dayamrita Swami and she has given her blessing. :) They will be celebrating Amma's 57th birthday on Sept. 27 way up north.

To learn more, and to follow their journey, please visit Parvati's web site.

The following is a press release from Rishi:

Canadian Musical Artist and Yoga Teacher First to Perform at the North Pole

Toronto, Ontario - Sept 16, 2010

*** For Immediate Release ***

Parvati, a Canadian musical artist and yoga instructor, is taking a courageous journey to the most northern Canadian soil: a small, desolate island in the Arctic Ocean known as Ward Hunt Island. The location is just kilometres from the Magnetic North Pole and 200 kilometres from 90 degrees North.

Parvati’s mission is to bring awareness to the urgent ecological effect of melting polar ice caps. Charged with purity of heart, clear intention, and the willingness to serve, Parvati will become the first artist to ever perform this far North. There she will offer her songs to help raise awareness of just how quickly the ice caps are disappearing and the devastating effect this is having on the entire planet.

Born in Montreal and now living in Toronto, Parvati is an internationally acclaimed singer, songwriter, performer and producer of electronic dance pop. Her music celebrates the gift of life and her debut album and multimedia show, Yoga in the Nightclub, has had people from Toronto to Berlin shaking to its joyful rhythms. After a summer of increased signs of environmental distress, Parvati decided to postpone her Canadian tour to trek to the North Pole. She says she simply cannot turn away from the effects climate change is having.

“I feel the global ecological crisis is a wake up call for us all, a call to awaken I AM consciousness, the magnificence of who we are,” says Parvati.”The planet reflects how we collectively treat ourselves, each other and our environment. A collective is only as strong as its individuals. If we want to change our environment, we need to transform ourselves.”

Parvati will be joined on the trip by Satish Sikha (www.ourearth-wewill.com), another environmental activist. In Resolute, Canada’s most remote city, Satish will unveil the world’s longest piece of woven silk. Each segment is signed by a celebrity, politican or international dignitary who shares their thoughts on climate change.

Parvati leaves Toronto on September 23, 2010 to meet with city council in Iqaluit andperform for school children in Nunavut. She will sing at the top of the world on September 26th.

The timing of Parvati’s trip is significant. Recent news reports that many ice shelves in Greenland and Canada have cracked. At the end of August, NASA reported an ice crack on Ward Hunt Island that is 40 metres deep and the size of Bermuda. Meanwhile, the sea ice levels are at an unprecedented low land as such wreaking havoc on our fragile ecosystem.

More information about Parvati’s trip is available at www.parvati.ca.

-30-

For more information, interview arrangements, video, or photographs, please contact: Rishi Gerald - 416-890-5878

2010-11: the push for "Premyatra II"

One of the major initiatives in the 49th Congress, referenced in the Inaugural Address, is the call for a Premyatra (literally "pilgrimage of love") to India:

Now the conch summons us again. Not a call to battle but a call to be open to the positive possibilities of a new Premyatra. A call to take up non-violent arms in order to defeat the economic obstacles and social limitations preventing a second pilgrimage to the birthplace of Sanatan Dharma, particularly to the Amritapuri and Penusila ashrams and temple towns of Tamil Nadu.

While the 45th Congress Indian yatra of 1995 focused on North India, particularly the Kripalu lineage temple of Kayavarohan and the Malav ashram in Gujarat, the 49th Congress journey would be completely in South India, and would book-end Karunamayi's ashram in Penusila, Andhra Pradesh (or possibly Amma K.'s Bangalore ashram) and Amritapuri (Ammachi's home base in Kerala) with visits to Madurai, Rameshwaram and Kanyakumari in between, as well as a few days hanging out in Madras...ERRRR!!!..Chennai.

Can this happen? The debate, as well as the bill to authorize funding, will appear on the Order Paper when the First Session convenes in September. But at this point it seems like a pipe dream with too many obstacles to overcome. Maybe a more realistic possibility would be late 2011 or early 2012 rather than during the 2010-11 First Session of Congress.

If you think returning to India for about a month and spending some time at both Amma's ashrams is a worthwhile pursuit, and an expansive positive possibility to boot, e-mail your Congressman. That would be me!

49th Congress. 49th freakin' Congress!

On June 30, 2010 at 2359 UTC/7:59 PM local time (the inauguration ceremony was held in the evening, rather than the traditional 12 noon), the 49th Congress of the Inner Realm of Patria was sworn into office on the steps of the Capitol in Castoropolis.

Read the full text of the 49th Congress Inaugural Address.

On July 1, in a Special Session of the newly inaugurated Congress, Amma Karunamayi delivered the Speech from the Throne. (technically not the Inaugural Address, which was delivered on the evening of June 30 after the official oath-taking and may be read at the above link). The following is the transcription of Karunamayi's address to Congress.

Inaugural “Speech from the Throne” by Amma Karunamayi

July 1, 2010

Om Gam Ganapataye Namah. Amma’s blessings to you all. I love you so much, my sweet children. I love you, babies, millions, billions and gazillions of times. I love Patria so much.

[Amma K. spent some time discussing the benefits of regular meditation practice, the energy contained in the various chakras, how the human brain viewed in cross-section resembles Lord Ganesha, e.g. the trunk is like the brain stem, and how Mother Lakshmi’s four arms resemble the four chambers of the human heart.]

Children, think twice, no, not twice, 10 times, 100 times before speaking. Keep your speech sweet and gentle. Your words and thoughts must always contain the sweetness of kindness and compassion. Be humble always.

[Amma K. shared her experiences at the 2009 Parliament of Religions in Melbourne, Australia, where she was one of the keynote speakers representing Hinduism.]

Embodiment of Divine Souls, my beloved children, true knowledge is truth only. Omkara is the world of power and divine truth. Truth is spiritual food for aspirants. Inner spiritual strength comes from sadhana and silence. Those who meditate daily will get tremendous power.

"I"ness is bondage. This is ignorance. This "I"ness is illusion. It is born from ignorance. Illusion always springs separation. Difference is nothing but duality only. Through meditation, destroy the ignorance by the sword of your knowledge. Ignorance generates desires, hate and fear. Ignorance always obstructs the true vision. Children, destroy ignorance today with silent meditation. Experience your true Self by your silent practice. Body, senses and mind are part of the nature. The Self is absolute consciousness, identification with supreme self is the highest experience in life. Life has no bliss in the finite. There is no sorrow in the infinite. Bliss is only in the infinite. Sorrows and pains are only in finite. Everything that is related with the material world is imperfect. Absolute alone is perfect. The forms are not in the real, but the real is in all of the forms.

A real yogi is unchanging, non dual, atman or soul. Visible universe and the mind seem to be changing. Atman only is changeless, imperishable. Everything in this world decays and takes birth but to die. But supreme Self, Brahman alone is immutable, undecaying, birthless and deathless. Brahman is infinitely pure, ever free, perfect and indestructible. The Self is ever free, nothing can bind it.

Immortality is the birthright of all. I am not this body; I am all pervading immortal soul. This is true wisdom. Deep is the supreme silence. Peace of the soul is infinite and immeasurable. Know thyself. Children, realize Brahman and attain immortal bliss.

Children, there is a strong desire in all of your hearts for freedom, independence and eternal happiness. Wisdom is the greatest weapon. It surely saves meditators from worldly ills.

Divine love of Wisdom, as an ideal of perfection burns brightly in the heart of all. Real truth vibrates in the heart. This total world is the body of consciousness. World is the essence of Brahman. Entire world, all the living beings they get light and power from the truth. The knowledge of atma comes when you are aware of your own innermost self. Children, do not apply reasoning to what is unthinkable. The kingdom of bliss is your heart only. We all are one; the one Divine Light. Vedas speak of oneness of divine consciousness.

Upanishads' essence is essential unity of all religions. Inner Wisdom is real gold. A man of an inner wisdom can transform the earth into liberation. The perennial fountain of nectar flows in the heart of a Brahman Jnani. Moksha or wisdom is the ultimate goal of a yogi. After attaining wisdom, there is no rebirth.

My Children, you are nothing but the truth only. Truth is pure spirit. The nature of truth is peace and bliss. The self-effulgent truth destroys all sorrows and all pains. It is impossible for self to hate self. A knower of self becomes master of all worlds. Worldly reasoning cannot lead to spiritual truth. There is an unchanging entity in everyone's heart, who is silent witness of three states namely dreaming, waking and sleeping. Identify with this "witness" and then end life mundane.

Children, meditate in order to reach your goal of perfection. All is Brahman, fearlessness is the fruit of wisdom. Inner freedom is immortality. Root yourself in your Atman. All miseries will come to an end. So children, deep, deep in the ocean of bliss, in Samadhi only you attain illumination you have Brahmic supreme consciousness. You will see God in all living beings.

With motherly love in the new 49th Congress, your Amma has not come this day as your guru or as Speaker of the House, but as your own mother. I love you, babies.

*****************
The first act of the new Congress, after the above Inaugural Address, Speech from the Throne, divvying up cabinet positions, and other bits of administrivia during the two-day Special Session, is to adjourn until September. The First Session of the 49th Congress (1·XLIX 2010-11) will convene on Sept. 20, 2010.

With the new Congress having been sworn in, and the 2010 election campaign having ended, note that the title of this blog has been changed to reflect Patria's mandate for Positive Possibilities.

Inauguration Day 2010

Four more years for Amma. The re-elected House Leader of the Amrita Party of Patria begins her new term of office by waving the flag.


The Hon. Member from the Precinct of Arboria about to take the oath of office. "I do solemnly swear that I will...support and defend the Constitution of Patria...and will to the best of my abilities, preserve, protect and defend the Inner Realm of Patria...against all enemies both foreign and domestic. So help me God". Bhagavad Gita used for the 49th Congress inaugural ceremony is Gandhi's translation and commentary ("The Gita According to Gandhi").

Oh my God, the 48th Congress is toast!

The last full day in office for the 48th Congress. Patria's fiscal 2011 budget has been presented to the House and duly ratified. Once that last major item of business was done and other pieces of legislation were cleared off the order paper (or left to die on the order paper without being brought to a vote), shortly after 10 PM, the Speaker Pro Tem of the House stopped all proceedings with the following announcement that all Patria had been waiting to hear: "Under the power vested in me by the Constitution of Patria, I declare the 48th Congress adjourned sine die!", followed by several long, loud blasts of the Congressional vuvuzela (which has replaced the traditional Speaker's gavel for the duration of the World Cup). For those who don't remember their Latin, sine die means adjourned indefinitely, without setting a date on which to re-convene.

The work of the 48th Congress is done. Finished. Amen. It is toast. On to the 49th Congress-elect. Lokah Samastah Sukhino Bhavantu.

Cleaning house for a new Congress

Almost nothing says Inauguration Day is almost here more than recycling bins stuffed full (yes, they have Blue Boxes in Patria) and shredders working overtime, as members of the soon to be toast Congress - not only those who are retiring or were defeated for re-election - clean out years (and in some cases, decades) of accumulated paper that no longer serves their needs or Patria's expansive growth into Positive Possibilities.

A stack of high school notebooks from the failed, brutal 40th Congress (1974-1978) are offered at Amma's feet before being chucked into the recycling bin for collection on June 29. Note the Wacky Packages on the Duo-tang on the left. On the eleventh grade physics notebook on the right, check out the attempt to draw Montreal Expos and 1976 Olympic logos. These notebooks were apparently saved "for reference", but weren't consulted much over the past 30+ years.

Last days in the bunker

With less than a week until Inauguration Day, the Fourth (and extremely lame-duck) Session of the 48th Congress is hunkered down in the Capitol, sitting day and night in order to pass various pieces of last-minute legislation and hammer out Patria's 2011 budget before adjournment, which is expected some time on June 29. Indeed, it is said that the only time any significant work gets done in Patria's Congress is in the ten weeks between election and inauguration.

From the Capitol, lawmakers can view the platform and reviewing stands being constructed at the main entrance (on Schaefer St. and the eastern end of Castoropolis Common, if you have your map of Patria's capital handy) for the inaugural ceremonies and parade. For many members of Congress, particularly the National Union, which lost half its seats in the April 17 election, they might feel like the death row prisoner looking out from the cell window and watching the gallows being built.

Countdown to inauguration: the last ten days

Ten days remain in the 48th Congress term of office. With due credit to Parvati, let's count them down:

Day one, life is fun.

Day two, I am new.

Day three, I am me.

Day four, I adore.

Day five, I'm alive.

Day six, create the mix.

Day seven, I'm in heaven.

Day eight, I co-create.

Day nine, feeling fine.

Day ten, do it all over again! (or do it all over again in 2014).

I AM...open, ready, willing to be completely restructured around the positive possibilities of the 49th Congress-elect.

Sometime between now and June 30, most likely in the late afternoon or early evening of June 29, the Speaker of the House will bang the gavel (or blow the vuvuzela) and say the words we've been longing to hear: "Under the power vested in me by the Constitution of Patria, I declare the 48th Congressus Patriaë adjourned sine die"! In the meantime, there is still some work ahead for the lame-duck session. The report of the Chancellor of the Exchequer - Patria's 2011 budget - is still on the order paper.

48th Congress Triple-U

In one of the last speeches delivered on the floor of the 48th Congress, the Jungle Party deputy leader summed up the past four years as "Triple-U: Uninspiring. Unfulfilling. Underachieving". That pretty much says it all about the 48th Congress: a mostly "maintain the status quo", "hold the line", or "same old same old" administration with few real accomplishments to its credit, simplistic boilerplate solutions to fight the recession ("spend, spend, spend"), and little in the way of real growth since 2006. It wasn't a truly failed administration like the 41st Congress, which pretty much failed right out of the box, or the 40th Congress, which was unfortunate enough to hold office during the god-awful 1970s. But the 48th Congress was unequal to the task of fighting the global economic downturn, kick-starting Patria's failing industries or stopping the export of jobs to China.

A number of other U's could also describe the lame-duck Congress limping on to adjournment: underemployed, underperforming, underwhelming, unrewarding, unsustainable, unprepared, etc. The term "Triple-U" was, of course, coined by Jim Rome to describe truly awful e-mails and texts (Unfunny, Uninspired, Unreadable) that often result in the sender being blocked ("BLOCKED!! BLOCKED!!").

Dr. Amma!

On May 25, 2010 the Hon. Member from the Precinct of Arboria and House Leader of the Amrita Party in the 49th Congress-elect received an honorary Doctorate of Humane Letters from the State University of New York at Buffalo. “Through her leadership of Amrita University, as well as through her humanitarian work, Chancellor Amma exemplifies the value of international collaboration and dedicated public service in the global arena,” said UB President John B. Simpson. “Her personal example and leadership demonstrate the critical importance of international and cross-cultural cooperation, exchange and dialogue, and it is in that spirit we honor Amma with the conferral of the SUNY Honorary Doctorate in Humane Letters.”

In her address after accepting the degree, Amma said “Spirituality is not religious study. Spiritual education is a training that helps us to truly understand ourselves. It gives us strength and helps us comprehend the deeper realms of knowledge...Knowledge is like a river. Its nature is to constantly flow. Wherever it can flow, it does so, nourishing culture. On the other hand, the same knowledge, if devoid of values becomes a source of destruction for the world. When values and knowledge become one,there can be no more powerful instrument for the welfare of humankind. Today, physicists have even begun investigating the possibility that the essential substratum of the manifest universe and the individual are one and the same. We are standing on the threshold of a new era wherein material science and spirituality will move forward hand in hand...It is Amma’s prayer that we develop the expansive-mindedness to embrace both scientific knowledge and spiritual wisdom. We can no longer afford to see these two streams of knowledge as flowing in opposite directions. In truth, they compliment one another. If we merge these streams, we will find that we are able to create a mighty river—a river whose waters can remove suffering and spread life to all of humanity.”

New plates for 49th Congress

(Click on plate to view larger image)

Every four years, along with the new Congress, a new passenger car license plate is issued. The 2010 base plate design features a scene from the Devi Mahatmyam: Hanuman, Durga and Kali leading the Devi army into battle with the demon Mahishasura. The slogan at the bottom of the plate Narayani Namo'stute is also taken from the Devi Mahatmyam.

New for 2010: the serial numbers on these plates are printed flat, rather than being embossed. This is actually a cheaper method of producing plates than the traditional hydraulic press, and has been adopted by several U.S. states.

The sample plate above is actually a general issue, not a vanity. The serial number LSN 623 can be taken as a reference to the 623rd name of the Divine Mother in the Lalita Sahasranama: Om Kevalayai Namah (Salutations to the Devi who is the absolute, who is complete, independent and without any attributes).

Note that all plates are permanent, and remain with the owner when the vehicle is sold or scrapped. You will still see older 1998, 2002 and 2006 base plates on vehicles in Patria. To view more license plates, including diplomatic and consular plates, visit Patria's miscellany page.

Jungle Party's 49th Congress caucus

According to the results of the Smack-Off, the 21 seats won by the Jungle Party have been awarded to the Clones with the best smack, former Smack-Off winners, and to certain XR4TI members, as follows:

1. Jim Rome (House Leader)* - FDC
   
2. Jason ("J-Stew") Stewart* - FDC
   
3. Vic in NoCal (2010 Smack-Off winner) - Lazuria
   
4. Mike in Indy - Aeolia
   
5. Dr. Mike DiTolla - Aeolia
   
6. Joe in the O.C.* - Caesarea
   
7. Iafrate* - Centralia
   
8. Jay Mohr - Arboria
   
9. Terrence in Sierra Madre* - Aeolia
   
10. Brad in Corona** - Lazuria
    
11. Dan in DC - Arboria
    
12. Lisa in Indy - Antioch
    
13. Cheryl in Austin - Ambrosia
    
14. Vinny Mac in Des Moines -Ambrosia
    
15. Greg in Vegas* - Nova Columbia
    
16. RayRay in Tampa - Mauretania
    
17. Rachel in Houston* - Caesarea
    
18. Jeff on a car phone in Phoenix* - Haldimania
    
19. Stevie Carbone from LMU* - Canardiere
    
20. Little Alvin Delloro - FDC
    
21. Trapper in Dana Point - Pottsylvania
    

* Incumbent member from 2006. **Brad in Corona replaced Sean the Cablinasian, who was declared ineligible to serve in Congress in 2009.

48th Congress begins lame-duck session

As the transition to the 49th Congress begins, and the countdown to Inauguration Day is on, a lame-duck administration with few real accomplishments to its credit continues in office for about 10 more weeks. If that seems familiar, it is just like the U.S. between Nov. 4, 2008 and Jan. 20, 2009.

Having returned from its pre-election recess, the first item on the 4·XLVIII order paper was to certify the results of the election as official, following a re-count that awarded one more seat to the Jungle Party.

49th Congress-elect seat allocations by precinct and party.

Before the 48th Congress is adjourned sine die, the lame-duck session will have to ratify Patria's 2010-11 budget, deliver the final report of the Chancellor of the Exchequer, and take care of a number of other legislative loose ends, e.g. legislation to further implement Patria's virtual legalization of all non-medical recreational drugs.

Election day winners and losers

A judicial re-count in Aeolia awarded one seat to the Jungle Party that had originally gone to Family Values. Re-counts were also ordered in Lazuria and Centralia, but no seats changed hands. The following are the 333 seat allocations in the 49th Congress-elect, which will be confirmed later this week when the Fourth Session, 48th Congress returns for lame-duck session, with the first item on the order paper to ratify the election returns.

+/- in [ ] indicate gains or losses from 2006.

Amrita Party ---------------------------- 78 [-10, but merged with SRM in 2006]

Chakra Party ---------------------------- 63 [+15]

SRM ------------------------------------ 50 [merged with Amrita in 2006]

National Union -------------------------- 35 [-35]

Social Democrats ------------------------ 33 [+3]

Jungle Party ---------------------------- 21 [+9]

Green Party ---------------------------- 18 [-6]

Libertarian ----------------------------- 8 [-7]

Lilith Party ----------------------------- 7 [-9]

Incel Party ----------------------------- 5 [new]

Chastity Party -------------------------- 3 [-3]

Family Values Party -------------------- 2 [-2]

Freedom Party ------------------------- 1 [-4]

Party for Personal Responsibility ------- 1 [-2]

Rationalist Party ----------------------- 1 [-1]

Reconstruction Party ------------------- 1

Victory and Peace ---------------------- 1

New Age Centralia ---------------------- 1

Popular Front of Pottsylvania ----------- 1

Lazurian Independent Party ------------ 1

Peoples Party --------------------------- 1

Christian Heritage Party ---------------- 1

Of the whopping 22 parties that have been awarded seats in Congress, ten are single-seaters.

National Union was, of course, the big loser. The NU's tough-as-nails law-and-order schtick is tired and played. No one seems to buy the promises of public executions, corporal punishment for petty miscreants, or hard time for lonely, repressed or socially inept men trying to buy some sex on the street.

The day after the election. It's morning in Patria!

To borrow Reagan's 1984 campaign slogan. As Campaign 2010 transitions into the 49th Congress-elect, the dust (not the hanging chads) from the election is beginning to settle. The Positive Possibilities coalition can claim 199 seats (78 Amrita, 63 Chakra, 33 Social Democrat, 18 Green, 7 Lilith). If they can get the support of half the 50 SRMers elected, they will have the two-thirds super-majority required for key ratification votes in the 333-seat Congress. With 50 seats, the SRM holds a huge chunk of the balance of power. The macho-man National Union pretty much lost one of its testicles. Cut in half, from 70 seats in the 48th Congress to only 35 in the 49th. Light up another Marlboro, NU man!

Best case scenario, the Diet Coke Party gang can count about 100 votes (50 SRM, 35 NU, 8 Libertarian, and the handful of one or two-seat right-wing fringe parties). Diet Coke Party or no, the SRM will continue to push hard in the new Congress for Patria-first economic nationalism and Gandhi-style non-violent resistance against globalism. Will the PosPos be open, ready, willing to listen? Not to mention the other parties that have been vilified as "leftists", "progressives", "tax and spenders" and of course, that dreaded L-word "liberals"?

The have-a-take-don't suck smack-talking Jungle Party, which is unlikely to throw in its lot with either the PosPos or Diet Coke, jumped from 12 to 20 seats (and possibly one more, pending results of re-count). The results of the Smack-Off on April 23 will determine which Clones will fill these seats along with Jungle Party house leader Jim Rome and "Mr. Automatic" J-Stew.

Next task is for the 48th Congress to return from pre-election recess for a final lame-duck session. The first item on the 4·XLVIII order paper is to certify the results of the election, pending judicial re-counts, which in any case only involve one or two fringe party seats in backwater precincts. This ain't Florida in 2000!

Today is Election Day!

Vote early and often! Polls are open from 7:00 AM to 9:30 PM. Patria holds its election day on a weekend, like most of Europe, Japan, and even some of the Third World DINOs (Democracies in Name Only). It's a concept that has never even been thought of in the U.S., Canada or the U.K., where they constantly complain about poor voter turnout but won't even consider moving the election day from a weekday, when many people find it a pain in the ass to take time off to vote or their employers don't give them an hour or two off in order to cast a ballot.

Of course, the real problem with poor voter turnout in the U.S., Canada and U.K. is not so much weekday election days, but disgust with the dinosaur first-past-the-post electoral system that results in wasted votes (unless you are lucky enough to live in a riding or district where your vote may actually mean something). While they may never adopt some kind of proportional representation, surely it's not too much to ask for the three leading first-world democracies to hold elections on a Saturday or Sunday.

Last day on the campaign trail

The last day of Campaign 2010. The long, sometimes hard-fought, drawn-out 49th Congress campaign is about to come to and end. By law, all rallies, campaign speeches, broadcast advertising, and other electioneering must end at 11:59 PM tonight.

On the last full day on the campaign trail, the Diet Coke Partyers are hitting it hard, pushing the usual rightist and populist buttons. "Fight liberals & leftists!" "No socialized medicine in Patria!" (actually, Patria - like Canada, Europe, Japan, and most of the civilized world - has had a federally subsidized health care system for decades), "Cut taxes now!", "Ride the Diet Coke Party bus or get thrown under it!

The SRM is front and center at the Diet Coke rallies, with their "take back the economy" promises of non-violent resistance against globalism. The Three S's - Satyagraha, Swadeshi, Swaraj - are an integral part of the populist verbiage freely spewed out at Diet Coke Parties. They give the anti-government populists what they want to hear: hard-core economic nationalism and "freedom from China" rants. But there is a fair degree of dissension among the SRM caucus. The more moderate SRMers seem to be trending toward the Positive Possibilities.

And then there's the National Union, showing up at Diet Coke Parties with nooses in hand, promising to use them on murderers, rapists, pedophiles, and pretty much anyone convicted of a more serious offense than jaywalking or littering. What else did you expect from the NU besides an amped-up take-no-prisoners war on crime. Actually the NU will take plenty of prisoners, and even push "lock 'em up and throw away the key" law and order as a job creation scheme. Building prisons and hiring prison guards is one way to fight the recession!

The "sex is dirty" Chastity and Family Values Parties are also throwing in their lot with the Diet Coke Parties. What would you expect from fringe parties plugging old-school Christian conservative values straight out of Leave it to Beaver and Red-state America.

The Amrita Party, Chakra Party, and the rest of the Positive Possibilities bunch are also campaigning hard on the last day before the election, taking their message into Hindu temples, yoga studios, ashrams, and even nightclubs (Yoga in the Nightclub, literally taking the CD by Parvati out into the streets of Patria).

And finally, on the day before the election, the Jungle Party gained a potential new member of Congress. By winning the Hack-Off, Vinny Mac in Des Moines earned a bid for the Smack-Off and a chance for a Jungle seat in Congress.

Kamala Cup playoffs

For fans of the Patrienish Hockey League, the puck is about to drop on the Kamala Cup playoffs, Patria's version of the Stanley Cup. In one best-of-seven semi-final, the defending Kamala Cup champion Arboria Beavers meet the Nova Columbia Condors. The other semi-final has the Caesarea Violets going up against the Centralia Crusaders. The winners meet in the finals, and the season is over by the first week in May. Just like in the Original Six-era NHL, mainly because the PHL has never expanded beyond its Original Six franchises!

As for the sad-sack hapless Castoropolis Centurions, they finished dead freaking last, out of the playoffs for the fifth straight season. It wouldn't be fair to call the Centruions the Toronto Maple Leafs of the PHL. At least the Cents do have a couple of Kamala Cups, as recently as 1999 and 2002. Far better than the Leafs, who have been stiffing Leaf Nation since 1967.

Jungle Party's Hack-Off and Smack-Off

Jungle Party leader Jim Rome announced that the Hack-Off would take place this Friday, April 16, the day before the election, and the Smack-Off a week later on April 23. The Hack-Off is a contest for the "worst of the worst" callers who have a take and DO suck. The winner of the Hack-Off will receive an at-large Smack-Off tournament bid, and thus have a chance to advance to a seat in the 49th Congress.

Among the Hack-Off contestants: Jolene ("dressed as your mom") in Farmington, Vinny Mac ("I'm the bottle on the top shelf") in Des Moines, Eddie ("on the banks of the 'What do we do now' river") in Boise, Parody Patrick, Nezrin not Mezrin ("Phil JACK-son!"), Corey in Buffalo, Aaron in Canton, Jason ("star Canadian linebacker") in Ottawa, Tobin in Chapel Hill, Flamian in LA, Ryan in Wichita, Jerome ("BOHICA, Bend Over Here It Comes Again") in Nashville, and Dean in Edmonton.

While the Hack-Off is new for 2010, the Smack-Off is an annual competition on The Jim Rome Show, in which select listeners are invited to provide their best "smack talk", with Rome and his show personnel determining the winner. The contest is a way to recognize the best callers to the show, as well as a means of determining the best caller of the year. Show host Jim Rome has referred to the Smack-Off as the most important show of the entire year. For Patria, the Smack-Off determines who will sit in Congress as part of the Jungle Party caucus, along with Rome and "Mr. Automatic" J-Stew (Jason Stewart).

The defending 2009 Smack-Off champion Brad in Corona gets an automatic bid for a seat in Congress, along with previous Smack-Off winners, with the exception of Sean the Cablinasian, who was declared ineligible in 2008:

• Iafrate*
  
• J.T. the Brick
• Jeffrey E. DiTolla "Esquire"
• Doc Mike DiTolla
• Steve Carbone*
• Silk in Huntington Beach
• Jeff in Richmond*

Previous Smack-Off invitees who may receive at-large bids in 2010:

• Greg in Vegas*
• Bill in Knoxville*
  
• Irie Craig
• Jeff "bumping around on a car phone" in Phoenix*
• Terrence in Sierra Madre (best caller never to have won)*
  
• Trapper in Dana Point (who should be representing the Social Democrats)
  
• Jay Mohr
• Gino in San Antonio
• John in C-Town
• Jim in Fall River
• Casey in Vegas
• Joe in the O.C.*
• Rachel in Houston*
• Oren in Denver
• Vic in NoCal
• Chad in Portland
• J.D. in Nashville
• Bodie in Pearland
• Corey in Ann Arbor
• Mike in Wichita
• Dan in D.C.
• Smooth Joe in Hollywood
• Josh in Grand Rapids
• Mike in Indy (surprise second-place finisher in 2009)

* Incumbent members of the 48th Congress.

The Jungle Party received only 12 seats in 2006, so it's likely that not all Smack-Off participants will be awarded seats in the 49th Congress, unless the Jungle Party makes the jump from fringe to coalition bracket-buster in 2010.

NU plays the men's rights card

As if "top dog for the alpha male" slogans, promising to bring back public executions, advocating corporal punishment for kids, and smoking Marlboros aren't macho enough, the National Union is pushing "masculinism" (as opposed to feminism) and men's rights. Worried about "the declining state of today's male," and "the war on men and boys", the NU is even fighting hard for courses in mens' studies at Patria's universities.

The NU notes that in the latest recession, 82% of pink slips handed out in the United States went to men, and a good chunk of those jobs won't be coming back. Boys and young men commit suicide at a rate of more than four times that of girls and young women. Boys are far more likely to be diagnosed with ADHD and put on Ritalin. In the United States, women outlive men by an average of seven years. In Eastern Europe the gap is 15 years. At universities in the United States and Canada, as well as in Patria, women make up about 60% of the student population, men only 40%, a dramatic reversal from the early days of feminism. Not to mention that 90% of the homeless, mentally ill, and substance abusers are males and that men consistently get the short end of the stick in divorce and custody battles.

The NU is committed to "taking back the testosterone" and restoring male pride as early as grade school. As Phyllis Schlafly notes in her Eagle Forum, elementary schools are not only ruled by females; they are dominated by feminists who make school unpleasant for boys from the get-go. Fewer than ten percent of elementary school teachers are men, giving boys the distinct impression that school is not for them.

Elementary school teachers used to understand that boys will be boys, but teachers now look upon boys as just unruly girls. Feminists manifest hostility to males and to masculine traits such as competitiveness and aggressiveness, and instead reward typical female behaviors such as non-assertiveness and group cooperation.

Schools cannot make gender go away by pretending that boys do not have an innate masculinity, or by trying to suppress it with ridiculous zero-tolerance punishments, banning sports such as dodge ball and tag, and allowing only playground games without winners.

Five- and six-year-old boys are not as able or willing as little girls to sit quietly at a desk and do neat work with pencil and paper. Even worse is the appalling fact that first-grade kids are not taught how to read phonetically, and the assigned stories are mostly about topics of interest to girls not boys.

It's no wonder that boys are more likely to have academic or behavior problems, repeat a grade, get suspended, be enrolled in special education programs, or become involved in drugs, alcohol or crime. Little boys make the calculation that school (and college) is not an environment where they want to remain.

For decades, the National Union has been thumbing its nose at feminists. Is it any wonder one of the NU's slogans (along with "testosterone in your balls, National Union on your ballot") is "committed to putting the Patriarchy back into Patria".

The 3 F's meet the 3 S's

A simplified explanation of Patria's Diet Coke Party phenomenon: the Three F's of the U.S. Republicans and Christian supremacists - Faith, Family, Freedom - meet the Three S's of the SRM and the Hindu nationalists - Satyagraha, Swadeshi, Swaraj. For those who haven't been following the Patriavotes2010 twitter feed (shame on you!), Satyagraha is non-violent Gandhi-style resistance or civil disobedience, Swadeshi refers to made-in-Patria domestic production of virtually everything, rather than dependence on imports (mainly from China), and Swaraj means literally self-rule, i.e. freedom from China, or freedom from globalization-mongers who are exporting high-paying manufacturing jobs to China and replacing them with (if you're lucky) minimum-wage service industry jobs. And like India in the dying days of the Raj, leading up to Aug. 15, 1947, Patria today sees itself locked in a struggle for freedom - not from the British, but from China. And while China might not be ruling Patria (and the U.S. for that matter) as a colonial power, the forces of globalization, free trade and made-in-China imports make it seem that way.

With a big chunk of seats likely to be won in the new Congress, the SRM will be crucial in forming the next coalition. Some of the more moderate SRMers can be persuaded to join the Positive Possibilities, while the "take back the economy" Hindu hard-liners are firmly in the Diet Coke Party camp (though they may be drinking ThumsUp, which is almost as popular as Coke in Patria).

Dead horses that won't die, no matter how much they're flogged

A number of hoary old issues keep coming up in every election campaign. Campaign 2010 is no exception.

Abortion: Women in Patria have had access to safe and legal abortion since 1973, thanks to a ruling by the 39th Congress and the Supreme Court of Patria that was handed down shortly after the U.S. Supreme Court's Roe v. Wade decision. Nonetheless, the Christian right wing (yes, there are Christian right wingers in Patria), secular social conservatives, and other rightist busybodies still want to ban abortion outright or severely restrict its availability. Yawn. Tired old fight from the last century. To quote the late Canadian Prime Minister Pierre E. Trudeau, "the state has no business in the bedrooms of our nation".

Death Penalty: Another tired old fight from the last century. The death penalty in Patria is outlawed per Article VII of the Constitution of Patria, although theoretically a military court-martial can still impose a death sentence for desertion or treason in time of war. Nonetheless, bringing back the death penalty plays well with the law-and-order right wing, even if they concede that the death penalty has little deterrent value. Of course, the National Union leads the campaign to bring back capital punishment, and every four years the tough-on-crime NU promises public executions by hanging in the town square, or even by beheading. Yes, beheading, though the NU does not specify whether heads would be made to roll by sword, axe or guillotine. (Although France abolished the death penalty in 1981, there is apparently a manufacturer of custom-designed guillotines!)

Drive for 25: Raising the legal drinking age to 25, in order to get drinking out of college campuses and cut down on impaired driving. Another cause that gets dragged out every four years, mainly by teetotaling social conservative busybodies. Patria can only laugh at the U.S. insisting on 21 as the drinking age, given that any 18 year old can legally vote, marry, serve on juries, join the military, and do a whole lot of other adult things.

Gun control: In Patria you hear the same slogans as in Red-State America, e.g. "they can have my gun when they pry it from my cold dead hands", "don't let the liberals take away your guns", "my truck - yes, my wife - maybe, my gun - never", and of course "guns don't kill, people kill". Although there is no equivalent to the U.S. Constitution's "Right to Keep and Bear Arms" Second Amendment in Patria's Constitution, Patria is like Switzerland when it comes to gun ownership and civilian militias. Every adult male citizen in Patria is considered to be a member of the civilian militia and as such, is required to own a rifle (fixed bayonet optional) or 12-gauge shotgun and keep it locked and loaded in a safe place at home! But unlike the U.S., handguns in Patria are severely restricted and are almost impossible to purchase legally. Stealing firearms or using a gun to commit a crime almost always means serious hard time in prison. Furthermore, the rate of homicide and other violent crime is much lower in Patria than National Unionists would have you believe.

War on drugs: The law-and-order types and social conservatives want Patria to step up the so-called war on drugs. But Patria recognizes that the American-led "war on drugs" is as much of a failure as America's "war on booze"of the 1920s, if not a greater failure than Prohibition ever was. In the 2006 Inaugural address, Patria advocated legalization, government regulation and taxation of all recreational drugs from marijuana to crystal meth. And although you can't buy a a rock of coke or a hit of LSD at the local convenience store in Patria, some progress has been made toward legalization and taxation (in Patria, a joint of pot is taxed as heavily as a pack of cigarettes or a bottle of liquor). Unlike in the U.S., drug abuse is considered to be a social not a criminal justice issue.

PosPos or Diet Coke: which side are you on?

During the course of Campaign 2010, the Positive Possibilities movement (known colloquially as "PosPos") has emerged as the leading potential multi-party governing coalition in the 49th Congress. With the staggering array of parties represented in Patria's proportional representation Congress, it is virtually impossible for one party to win a strong plurality (forget about a >50% majority!) of seats. Multi-party coalitions, usually consisting of two major parties plus a number of minor ones, are the rule in Patria, particularly when most bills require a two-thirds majority (yes, the dreaded "super-majority") for passage.

So which parties are backing "PosPos"?

Amrita Party: with PosPos being led by devotees of Amma and being linked to the I AM meditation technique, they're the obvious front-runners.

Chakra Party: as the leading New Age and "no gurus, just right" party, they're in. The Amrita and Chakra Parties would likely be co-leaders of a PosPos coalition.

Green Party: probably, though it's often hard to tell if the Greenies are really into progressive grass-roots movements for change, or are little more than a bunch of old-school economic conservatives and Ayn Rand capitalists disguised as bike-riding Birkenstock-wearing tree-huggers.

Lilith Party: have you ever seen a right-wing or socially conservative lesbian?

Social Democrats: also in as the remnants of Patria's "progressive" old-school liberals and leftists. Where would Patria be without tax & spend, soft-on-crime, bleeding-heart liberals?

SRM: maybe a few of the more moderate SRMers, but generally the SRM's economic nationalism is more attractive to the Diet Coke Party movement. The SRM could be split in two, with some of the party's more liberal caucus joining PosPos, while the Hindu nationalists and economic conservatives - much like the Blue Dog Democrats in the U.S. - sticking with the Diet Coke partyers.

Along with much of the SRM caucus that is behind the 3-S (SATYAGRAHA! SWADESHI! SWARAJ!) take-back-the-economy populism that is taking root in recession-ravaged Patria, the law-and-order National Union and less-government-more-freedom Libertarians are also leading the Diet Coke Party movement.

The Diet Coke party gang also has support from the socially conservative and sex-is-dirty fringe, i.e. the Chastity Party and Family Values Party. The Incel Party caters more to socially inept nerds and may trend toward PosPos.

The Jungle Party is unlikely to go either way. The only positive possibility in the Jungle is to have a take, not suck, and not get run with the manual buzzer. And the Clones in the Jungle tend to prefer Mountain Dew (or Bombay Sapphire) over Diet Coke.

The remaining nutbar, one-trick pony single-issue, and socially inept nerd-catering parties are also unlikely to support either movement. In any case, with only one or two seats in Congress each (if they're lucky enough to get past the proportional representation vote percentage threshold), no one much cares about the Rationalist Party, Reconstruction Party, Freedom Party, Christian Heritage Party, Peoples' Party and the other oddballs that might happen to find their way onto your Precinct's ballot come April 17.

Positive Possibilities and Diet Coke Parties

Positive Possibilities are not a party per se, but a new pan-Patria movement that has developed over the course of Campaign 2010 to bring a new dimension to Patria's consciousness and spiritual growth for a new decade. Positive Possibilities' main campaign slogan is "I AM open, ready, willing to be completely restructured around the positive possibilities of the 49th Congress".

Positive Possibilities is a conscious company launched in Toronto, Canada in 2009 by the innovative singer/songwriter/producer/performer Parvati. The company’s mission is to enhance the quality of people’s lives by connecting our communities with products and events that support co-creation through music, arts, education, community, cultures and the environment by bridging the market leaders in holistic industries with the music and entertainment industries. Since Yoga is officially Patria's national sport, Positive Possibilities is taking it beyond the traditional settings of ashrams and yoga studios and into daily life, even seeking to take yoga into nightclubs with its Yoga in the Nightclub campaign.

The Positive Possibilities movement is also seeking to move Patria towards I AM consciousness. What is I AM consciousness? To live in I AM is to live knowing that one's true nature is love, that we are all interconnected and that one is loved unconditionally. To live I AM is to be in service to the creative flow, which is beyond the limited grasp of our ego or personal will. I AM is also related to the IAM (Integrated Amrita Meditation) technique developed by Amma and the Mata Amritanandamayi Math organization.

On the other side of Positive Possibilities ("Negative Possibilities" perhaps?) are the Diet Coke Parties, Patria's version of the Tea Party movement. There aren't a lot of tea drinkers in Patria, and in any case the movement needed a name to distinguish itself from the US bunch of Tenthers, Truthers, Birthers, gun-loving NRA members, economic conservatives, social conservatives, and other assorted hard-right patriots. As in the US, the Diet Coke Party movement an ideological mix of libertarianism and conservativism with the common denominator being lower spending and smaller government.

Who's on your ballot?

Election Day is a little over six weeks away. The campaign is now into the home stretch. Today (March 1) was the deadline for parties to register with the Election Commission of Patria in order to appear on the ballot.

The following are the parties that will appear on all 49th Congress ballots in all 13 Precincts and the Federal District of Castoropolis.

1. Amrita Party
2. Chakra Party
3. Chastity Party
4. Christian Heritage Party
5. Family Values Party
6. Freedom Party
7. Green Party
8. Incel Party
9. Jungle Party
10. Libertarian Party
11. Lilith Party
12. National Union
13. Party for Personal Responsibility
14. Peoples' Party
15. Rationalist Party
16. Reconstruction Party
17. Social Democrats
18. Spiritual Regeneration/Swadeshi Ramrajya Movement (SRM)
19. Victory and Peace Party

On April 17 voters will have a staggering nineteen parties to choose from, as well as space on the bottom of the ballot for a write-in vote. One or more additional parties may appear on your precinct's ballot, such as Alpha-Omega Party (Caesarea), Lazurian Independent Party, National Democratic Union (Nova Columbia), and the Popular Front of Pottsylvania.

Polls don't vote, people vote!

...to paraphrase the National Rifle Association's very old and often trotted out war cry. Unlike in the U.S., where pre-election polls seem to come out almost daily, polls predicting which parties are the most popular and how many seats each party would take "if the election were held today" are officially banned in Patria. The reason for the ban is so that voters will not think "my party is trailing so badly that it's not worth voting", or "my party is such a shoo-in that I don't need to vote", or "I like Party A, but they're trailing so badly in the polls that I should just hold my nose and vote for Party B".

Although there are no official polls, there are plenty of rumors and on-the-street talk about which party is the front-runner and how many seats each party could win. Current scuttlebutt: the Amrita Party is trailing the SRM badly and could lose almost half of its seats, the Jungle Party could double or even triple its seats (the Jim Rome show is becoming extremely popular in Patria!), and the SRM is the real wild card as its "no more made-in-China" economic nationalism is playing very well among voters who have lost their jobs, had their homes foreclosed, or have been otherwise screwed over since the economy went down the crapper.

Drive for 25. FAIL

The "Drive for 25", a campaign to raise the legal drinking age to 25, was one of the National Union's campaign promises in the 43rd Congress election of 1986 (when the NU still hadn't quite found its testosterone-fueled law 'n order niche). The campaign attracted little support and eventually crashed like a drunk driver with a blood alcohol level far over .08. Twenty four years later, "Drive for 25" is back, though with support mainly from the social conservative fringe parties such as Family Values Party and Chastity Party rather than the NU. Not to mention busybodies who don't believe in things such as personal responsibility and free choice.

Why flog this dead horse? Apparently there are elements in Patria who believe that raising the drinking age to 25 would cut down on impaired driving as well as get the culture of drinking out of college campuses. Didn't anyone ever tell these misguided social crusaders that a lot of drunk drivers are over 25, and college campuses are not limited to 18- to 23-year-old kids.

Just as in 1986, the 2010 "Drive for 25" campaign is destined for failure. Patria's legal drinking age is 18, the same age at which it is legal to join the armed forces, vote, serve on juries, and do a whole lot of other adult things. Yes, it is true that drinking is a privilege, not a constitutional right like voting. But there are better ways to fight drunk driving (e.g. lifetime license revocation, serious hard time in prison, even special "convicted DUI" license plates) than raising the drinking age to 25 (why stop there? why not hike it all the way to 30?). How will making 40-something folks born in the 1960s produce photo ID in order to buy beer at the ball park help deter drunks from getting behind the wheel?

Incel Party: a new party for an extremely marginalized segment

It wouldn't be an election in Patria without at least one new one-note single-issue fringe or nutbar party being launched. For 2010, the new party is the Incel Party, a party dedicated to addressing the stigma of involuntary celibacy and giving the kings (and in rare cases, queens) of all nerddom a voice in Congress. The Incel Party is offered as a public service in Patria of the Incel Project, to address the pain, frustration and social ostracism of the poor social losers who are 25 years of age or older and still virgins, who have not taken vows of celibacy (e.g. becoming a Catholic priest or Hindu sadhu), and are physically able to perform.

Involuntary celibacy (or incel) is a non-technical descriptive term of the state of a person who has not established an intimate relationship or engaged in sexual intercourse for reasons other than voluntary celibacy or sexual abstinence. The term is used especially for people who, despite general expectations, have had little to no sexual or romantic experience.

Unlike the "just say 'no' until you say 'I do'" Chastity Party, the Incel Party speaks for those who are extremely unlikely ever to say "I do", and have not even gotten to the point in a relationship where it would be an option to say "no". In the 49th Congress, those social misfits who have not only never been to first base, but haven't even stepped into the batter's box, will have a voice speaking for them.

Background information from the Incel Project website:
Obviously most people are already aware of incel, it's just more likely they call it something else. Phrases such as "old maid", "spinster aunt", "dried-up virgin", "ugly creep", "miserable loner" and the all-purpose "loser" are a few examples, but the general concept is the same that has existed in the public consciousness for as long as the idea of relationships has existed.

According to the wikipedia: “Involuntary celibacy is not recognised by most experts in psychology, virtually no research has been published, and no statistics are available...It does not appear to be a concept taken seriously by those who do not experience it...However, conditions associated with involuntary celibacy may include severe depression, self-harm, mental illness and even suicide.”

Loneliness. Love shyness. Sexual frustration. Romantic envy. Missing the boat. Playing an agonzing, tantalizing game of catch-up. It’s alarming that a problem so destructive can be all but virtually ignored by both serious sociologists and the mental health community. It can be argued that incel is a symptom of a deeper root cause and that this cause should be the greater focus of investigation. The most obvious reasons for some incels would be social phobia or a significant degree of social incompetence. However many incels are also actually outgoing, charming, humorous, gregarious, approachable types who resemble most people already in relationships. Yet they find themselves in the same social situation of the stereotypical shut-in. Many introverts involved in serious relationships or are even married. There are no easy causal explanations.

Besides there are other psychological problems out there--alcoholism, shoplifting, self-abuse, gambling, overeating, violent tendencies, drug abuse, nymphomania--that have whole shelves of literature that address them specifically, even though they can also be described as symptons deriving from a variety of other deeper psychological issues. Support groups, counselors specializing in their issues and internet communities are also available for them.

Yet, there is almost nothing written about involuntary celibacy, and incels have almost no professional to turn to for it, aside from maybe therapists--and assuming these therapists care to address the issue specifically and seriously. If an incel suffers depression or anxiety as a result, they can of course address this to a professional, but these incels also have the added grief of feeling their own situation is so peculiar. Not only this but there exists also negative effects from just being incel that are distinct from incel’s sources. (Reiterating one example, not all social phobics are incel, nor vice versa.)

To help simplify matters, when I say incel, I mean to include only men and women above age 25, who are not incarcerated and do not have any physical handicap that could get in the way of a relationship. For now I don’t want to include the medically celibate or prisoners and other people in strict single-sex communities in the discussion yet--even though they do actually qualify as incel--mainly because the reason for being incel is so self-evident there. I would also defer discussion on very youthful incels because I believe most people understand in the adolescent and young adult years, people are expected to stumble and get rejected, and some frustration is a natural way of life, even though it can certainly be no less troubling in one's social development.

But I do very much want to address the problem of mature emotional frustration of people in a sexually permissive society, who have reasonably advanced sexual knowledge, even if it is all secondhand, especially for incels who are outgoing, are quite socially competent and are free to mingle with whoever they please. In these cases, the frustration is compounded because the sufferer has difficulty pinpointing the reason they are like this. It’s not as easy as in the last century where one could be frustrated from being in the wrong class or wrong sort of family or neighborhood. Because we live in an increasingly global community, there would seem to be no excuse not to connect with people, but incel cases still exist and, I think, much more prevalently than it would seem.

There’s also the feeling of helplessness and that the situation is somewhat out of their hands; after all it takes another reciprocating person to form a couple, and even doing everything right is no guarantee, as incels understand too well. Obviously luck plays a role in the success of many relationships, but luck affects non-incels as well; why does fortune frown on them in particular?

It seems non-incels find the idea incredibly absurd that a person of reasonable maturity and attractive would be incapable of getting a mutually affectionate romantic partner. What’s even more incredible is if someone of an advanced age turns out to still be a virgin; the most common misconception people seem to make is that this man or woman must have wanted to be like this in order to end up like this. It’s hard to admit it even to close friends and family for fear of hearing “you’re free to see whomever you please; you have no excuse not to find someone” which can make the sufferer feel worse. Without any external cause to point to, the incel has only him or herself to blame, which can certainly degrade more an already damaged self-esteem.

Actual lack of sex is not only the most misunderstood aspect of incel, but in many cases, it’s also beside the point. Some incels have had opportunities for casual or paid sex but have declined them because they don’t consider them a real relationship (or in the latter case it’s illegal for them in their residential jurisdiction.) What they are truly missing is the affectionate touching, holding and kissing and unconditional give-and-take that true couples the world over enjoy. The most common feeling is that after passing an advanced enough age, they feel they are “missing the boat” and are unable to catch up. Although late bloomers exist in other fields of life, incels find being in such small and written-off company difficult to endure. There’s also the cultural expectations similar to the plight of adults of a certain advanced age who still live with and depend on their parents.

Note that non-virgins may also qualify as incels, e.g. that 50 year old loser who once had a girlfriend in the Carter administration summer between high school and college, but has been celibate for the last 30+ years. Incels are not Average Frustrated Chumps. A good number of incels have ASD's (autistic spectrum disorders, i.e. Asperger's syndrome), too much moral integrity to have a one-night stand, and too much pride (or fear of being arrested) to buy sex from a hooker.