Amrita Party: four more years of Amma's hugs

The Amrita Party is campaigning hard to win a fourth term for Amma and to hold on to their 78 seats in the 50th Congress - including the seat actually held by Amma in the precinct of Arboria. There are no polls in Patria, but rumor/pre-election scuttlebutt has it that the Amrita Party, which holds the most seats in the 49th Congress, could lose as many as half of them on April 19. They have been running a very low-key campaign thus far in 2014, with uninspiring slogans like "Embracing Patria" and "love and serve", and have not been able to effectively counter the SRM's "Patria first" and "take back the economy" messages. Patria's economy has been circling the drain pretty much since 2010. The past four years still feel like a recession thanks to offshoring, outsourcing, globalism and the proliferation of made-in-China consumer goods. Patria's unemployment rate is well into the double digits - virtually unchanged since the depths of the 2008-09 Great Recession - and the underemployment rate is probably around 50%. SRMers know that not even Amma's hugs can fix a broken economy.

Chakra party: no gurus, just right

Once again the Chakra Party is targeting the usual amalgam of liberals, leftists, new-agers, hippies, vegetarians, vegans, yogis and yoginis. Not to mention siphoning some Hindu votes away from the SRM and Amrita Party. The Chakra Party's "no gurus, just right" slogan helps draw votes away from the latter. Mainly because of the Chakras, an old-line "progressive" party like the Social Democrats can't seem to get much traction.

National Union: pitbulls not pussycats

The Marlboro Cowboy rides again in NU country!

Once again in 2014 the National Unionists are trotting out all the usual stereotypical macho, he-man tropes: strict discipline, respect for authority, law and order, where a man belongs, boys to men, forged in the fire, and of course NATIONAL UNION TOUGH. Since the 1980s, National Unionists have been slagging women, liberals, soft-on-crime bleeding hearts and effeminate men (regardless of sexual orientation). Now they've targeted a new enemy: cat owners. Yes, cats are unmanly! According to the NU, real men own big dogs like pit bulls and rottweilers. Typical NU anti-cat slogans: BIG DOGS FOR TOUGH MEN. SEPARATING THE REAL MEN FROM THE PUSSYCATS.

Watch it, National Union men. This campaign could backfire on April 19. Don't piss off cat owners! Have you ever tried to herd cats? It's a lot tougher to be a catboy than a cowboy!

Patria celebrates World Radio Day

Notwithstanding that Patria and all other micronations are not, and can never be, members of the UN, the United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization (UNESCO) has designated February 13 as World Radio Day — a day to celebrate radio as a medium; to improve international cooperation between broadcasters; and to encourage major networks and community radio alike to promote access to information, freedom of expression and gender equality over the airwaves.

As radio continues to evolve in the digital age, it remains the medium that reaches the widest audience worldwide. It is essential to furthering UNESCO’s commitment to promote gender equality and women’s empowerment, particularly in the world of radio.

As part the push to keep Patria "safe for social conservatives", Patria has long been in the forefront of efforts to boycott or ban Valentines Day. Instead of celebrating a stupid, meaningless, over-commercialized Hallmark Holiday, on the day before Feb. 14 Patria will celebrate a day devoted to radio and the public service that AM, FM and shortwave broadcasting has provided since the 1920s.

Keeping Patria safe for social conservatives

One of the most frequently-heard phrases on the Campaign 2014 trail is that Patria must be "a safe place for social conservatives". The call for social conservatism was referenced in the 2010 Inaugural address:

Patria must be made a safe place for social conservatives, and for those whose involuntary celibacy due to autism spectrum disorders has also rendered them involuntarily socially conservative.  Out of compassion for those who are unable to experience intimate relationships due to Asperger syndrome and other social impairments, and out of respect for those who have taken vows of celibacy in order to advance their spiritual growth, Patria must remain committed to modeling the values of chastity, advocating modesty in women’s dress, and avoiding public displays of affection by couples.

The point was driven home again in the 2012 annual message to Congress:

Patria’s social conservative values do not particularly include those shibboleths so dear to Republicans in the US and right-wingers generally such as outlawing abortion – that tired old horse left the barn in 1973 – or banning gay marriages, or limiting grade school sex education classes to abstinence only. Patria’s social conservative values, however, do include modest dress for women. In Patria we believe women should dress with the dignity worthy of visiting a temple or tirtha [place of pilgrimage, e.g. Kayavarohan]. Though not by passing of legislation mandating formal dress codes such as in Iran, Patria will nonetheless continue to insist that women and girls avoid dressing like sluts and tempting men into violence and unwanted sexual advances, or at least luring men to believe that they are fair game. Patria will continue to advocate social conservative values in order to make this realm a safe place and a comfort zone for those men who chose to practice lifelong celibacy through monastic vows or those who have had celibacy thrust upon them by lacking in National Union-style traditional male macho or by being on the autistic spectrum and never being able to experience an intimate relationship. Patria commits itself to creating a safe community for such introverted, sensitive, socially lacking men in the remaining two years of this Congress.

Yes, Aspies and socially inept 40-year-old virgins, Patria is doing this for you!

The Chastity, Family Values and Incel parties hold only a few seats in Congress, and are unlikely to increase their representation after April 19, but they're punching above their weight when it comes to channelling right-wing fundamentalist Christianity and imposing 1950s - if not Victorian-era - social mores on Patria.

SRM plays the Ramayan card

The SRM is using scenes from the Ramayana (particularly images of Hanuman) in order to get its Patria-first economic protectionism and bring-the-jobs-home points across. In the words of the SRM's most recent paid political broadcast announcement: Patria's economy is Sita. Globalism is Ravana. Offshoring/outsourcing/made-in-China is Lanka. The SRM is Hanuman!

If you know the story line of the Ramayan, it will make sense. Patria will have this mix of Hinduism and economic jingoism shoved down its collective throats between now and April 19. In the meantime, if you have a lot of free time to kill, you can read a complete public domain translation of the Ramayana.

Patria remembers Pete Seeger

Pete Seeger (1919-2014)

Patria paused to remember legendary folk singer and social activist Pete Seeger, who passed away on Jan. 27 at age 94. A generation of kids in Patria (and of course in the USA, Canada and many other macro-nations) grew up singing along with Seeger at school and summer camp and later graduated to protest songs against the Vietnam war. During the McCarthy Red Scare blacklist era, when Seeger's alleged Communist sympathies prevented him from getting radio airplay and major concert performances in the United States, he was welcomed in Patria. And it should be noted that Patria in the 1950s and early 1960s was not a socialist pinko worker's paradise but was dominated by the National Union, albeit a kinder, gentler, more centrist NU than the current version that is campaigning for the 50th Congress.

"This machine surrounds hate and forces it to surrender" was the slogan on Pete Seeger's banjo. (Amma should write it in Malayalam on her harmonium!)

Pete Seeger's version of the classic Hindi bhajan Raghupate Raghava Raja Ram.