Campaign 2026: 53rd Congress election primer

 

Patria is flooded with SRM 2026 campaign posters!

Election time in Patria! Here's what you need to know:

Election Day: April 18, 2026 (Third Saturday in April; Patriot’s Day long weekend). Fredonia votes one week early, on April 11.

Inauguration Day: June 30, 2026

What’s at stake: 333 seats in Patria’s Fifty Third Congress (LIII Con. Pat.), elections for Precinct legislatures and local city, county or demi-precinct councils in some of Patria’s 13 Precincts and the Federal District of Castoropolis (FDC). There is also an upper house in Patria, like the US and Canadian Senate or UK House of Lords, but its 57 members are selected by the Precinct legislatures, not by direct popular vote.

Three hundred thirty three seats, same as it has been since 1982. An effort to shrink the Congress to 315 (the number of seats from 1966 to 1982) or even 300 seats has apparently failed as of Oct. 10, 2025. The bill was introduced at the outset of the Fourth Session, but failed to make it out of the Elections Committee to be voted on by the full House.

Members of Congress are elected by proportional representation. In each precinct, lists of candidates are prepared by each party and seats are awarded in proportion to the percentage of votes received. In the Federal District of Castoropolis, Caesarea, Antioch and Haldimania, a mixed-member proportional format is used. One-third of the seats (district seats) are awarded by traditional US, Canadian and UK-style first past the post, the remainder are proportional from party lists.

Congressional apportionment per precinct:

Caesarea – 61 seats (20 district, 41 proportional)

FDC – 38 (13 district, 25 proportional)

Nova Columbia – 36

Lazuria – 27

Centralia – 25

Aeolia – 24

Arboria – 21

Antioch – 19 (6 district, 13 proportional)

Ambrosia – 17

Canardiere – 16

Mauretania – 15

Pottsylvania – 13

Haldimania – 12 (4 district, 8 proportional)

Fredonia – 9

Term of office: Four year term ending June 30, 2030.

Vote counting: paper ballots counted by hand. Early mail-in voting will be encouraged. There will also be advance polls to allow in-person voting prior to Election Day. Fredonia is traditionally the first precinct to vote and its vote count is released a few hours before the polls open on Election Day in the rest of Patria.

Follow on X/Twitter @Patria1818. Hashtags: #PatriaVotes2026 #53rdCongress

Patria is as far as it gets from the dishwater-dull, boring, uninspired US two-party system, and what is essentially a two-party Liberal-Conservative duopoly in Canada. Following are capsule descriptions of the parties contesting the 2026 election.

Social Democrats “Go Forward!” democratic socialists in the tradition of the NDP/CCF and Bernie Sanders. Populist/dissident left, not PC, little tolerance for snowflakes. Won plurality in 2018, allied with Amrita and Chakra parties. (Unofficial color: blue, cf. US Democratic Party)

SRM (Swadeshi Ramrajya Movement) “Bring the jobs home” “Patria first” Small-c conservative Hindu nationalist, economic protectionist. Partially inspired by India’s BJP. Once used to be leftist-progressive, when the party originated among hippie students in the late 1960s, and SRM used to stand for Spiritual Regeneration Movement. Although the “BRING IT HOME” slogan didn’t work for Pierre Poilievre, the SRM will be using it hard for 2026. (Unofficial color: saffron) 

Chakra Party “no gurus, just right” yoga/new age liberal. Unreconstructed 1990s new agers. Generally allied with Amrita and/or Social Democrats. (Unofficial color: teal) 

National Union “where a man belongs”, “big dogs, tough men” macho, populist law and order, obedience, respect for authority. Owning a big dog is a test of manhood. Cats are for pussies. In 2026 the NU will likely stick to strictly law and order issues, push for restoration of the death penalty, and not go after the cat owners and non-macho men. (Unofficial color: deep purple) 

Jungle Party “Have a take, don’t suck”, inspired by Jim Rome. Really a fringe party with no real platform. Silk Brah (failed candidate in Huntington Beach, CA) led the Jungle caucus in 2022. (Unofficial color: red, cf. US Republican Party as a lot of Jim Rome’s US clones, the late Trapper notwithstanding, would probably vote GOP.) 

Green Party, environmentalist, sustainable growth, same as in macro-world. (color, duhhhh, green) 

Libertarian Party, more freedom, less government, also same as in macro-world. (Unofficial color: grey/silver) 

Lilith Party, for biological women only, originally intended as the anti-National Union. Mostly made up of radical left feminists who love cats. Extremely TERF. Co-sponsored the SAAB (Sex Assigned At Birth) act along with the NU and SRM. An unlikely alliance is forming between the NU (who are also extremely trans-phobic) and Lilith: REAL MEN AND REAL WOMEN! NO TRANS! (unofficial color pink, to no one’s surprise) 

IAM Party: new for 2026, a possible resurrection of the Amrita Party that was dissolved in late 2021. Name of party would simply be IAM, not Independent Amrita Members. In Patrienish “I am” is literally “ími sím”. 

Minor parties: fringe groups and nutbars (Chastity Party, Family Values Party, Freedom Party, Patriots’ Union of Nova Columbia, etc.) that get in thanks to no votes being wasted under proportional representation. There are several parties that hold only a single seat in Congress. 

Hot-button campaign issues and slogans: 

Continuing the post-pandemic recovery. “Just move on” is not acceptable. Patria should say “never again”, i.e. no more over-reaction and government over-reach. IT WAS ONLY THE FUCKING FLU! Or a bad cold. Why is there not a COVID Nuremberg? Why is no one in the macro-world being held accountable for the spike in domestic violence, drug abuse, alcoholism, children’s learning deficits, bankruptcies, suicides and other collateral damage? 

PATRIA FIRST! No need to fear populism, whether from the right or left. 

TAKE BACK THE ECONOMY! Return the Patrienish Rupee to the gold standard. Patria says NO FIAT CURRENCY! NO GREAT RESET! 

Attempting to re-define or ret-con the legacy of the 43^rd Congress, after 40 years, along with attempting to rehabilitate the failed 41^st Congress. 

Four more years of Social Democrat populist/dissident left? If so, Patria says NO to cancel culture. NO to PC virtue signaling. YES to free speech and open debate. Patria may be leftist or socialist in economic policy but it rejects Cultural Marxism and is NOT WOKE! 

“BRING IT HOME!” – slogan of the SRM-led coalition of right-populist Hindu nationalists and Patria-Firsters in 2026. Social Democrats: “PROGRESS WITH A PURPOSE”. Chakra Party: “BRING IT TOGETHER!” National Union: “BIG DOGS! LAW AND ORDER!”

Just as the NU thought, increasing testosterone could turn leftist men right

 Since the 1990s, Patria’s hard-right law-and-order National Union has been pandering to old-school tough-as-nails unreconstructed macho men with slogans such as “testosterone in your balls, National Union on your ballot” and “separating the real men from the pussycats”. The hoary old stereotype is of wimpy, effeminate men being bleeding-heart soft-on-crime liberals or Marxist-Leninist leftists. Come to find out, injections of testosterone could actually turn leftist men, who vote Democrat in the US (and, say, Chakra or Social Democrat in Patria), into right-wingers who would vote Republican (and become National Unionists or at least SRMers in Patria). Prof. Paul Zak, Director of the Center for Neuroeconomics Studies at Claremont Graduate University, recently helped produce an extremely interesting study for the second chapter of a doctoral thesis that showed as much. “Before the testosterone treatment, we found that weakly-affiliated Democrats had 19% higher basal testosterone than those who identified strongly with the party,” the study reported. In other words, the more strongly Democrat a man is, the lower his testosterone is. Read the dissertation here.

 Naturally the far-right, white nationalist, anti-immigration VDARE.com had a field day with this study.

SRM slams NU and Jungle as lame duck session begins

 The SRM Congress members are pointing fingers at National Unionists and Jim Rome’s Jungle Party for failing to deliver a right-wing coalition in the 52^nd Congress election. “If the National Union and Jungle had doubled their seat count, to 40 and 20 seats respectively, along with most of the minor parties the Patria First movement could have held off the Social Democrats, Greens and Chakras… but no, they failed to deliver and Patria is stuck with four more years of so-called progress with a purpose, four more years of discredited leftist rabble”. Of course, the SRM could have done better itself, as its own pollsters projected at least 108 seats. They won 90 seats, but in Patria’s everyone-into-the-pool proliferation of parties, that translated into only about 27% of the popular vote.

All bark, no bite. NU won only one more seat than in 2018.

 Holding a mediocre 22 seats (about 6.6% of popular vote), the National Union won only a single seat more than in 2018, while the Jungle Party lost one seat, down to 10 members from 11 in the 51^st Congress. The biggest winner in the 52^nd Congress-elect is the Chakra Party. They won 76 seats – 43 more than in 2018 – and succeeded in scooping up a large number of Amrita Party supporters. Given Patria’s multi-party mish-mash, getting about 23% of popular vote is a big win for the Chakras.

 The old 51^st Congress (4·LI 2021-22) reconvened for the traditional post-election Lame Duck Session that will continue until a day or two before Inauguration Day and will include Smack-Off XXVIII on June 24, in which the Jungle Party will select the ten members of its caucus (broadcast live on PMBC-1152). The first item on the order paper is to certify the returns of the recent election, as provided by the returning officers of the 13 Precincts and the Federal District. The last item is to hammer out and ratify Patria’s fiscal 2023 budget. In between there are many items of business and other loose ends to tie up, including a proclamation of Patria’s neutrality in the Russo-Ukrainian war.

SRM thought they won, until they didn't.

Patria Votes 2022: SRM foiled again by Social Democrats, Chakra and Green Parties

 “Whose Patria? Our Patria?” But not quite the SRM’s Patria. While the Hindu right “Patria First” SRM won the most seats in the Fifty Second Congress, they ran into a progressive (but not woke) buzz-saw: the “Progress with a purpose” Social Democrats, “Bikes not cars” Greens and “Inquire Within” Chakra Party, who have enough combined seats for a simple (50%) majority in the House. For those bills, constitutional amendments and other resolutions that require a two-thirds majority, they will still need support from the minor parties, Jim Rome’s Jungle, National Unionists and at least a few SRMers. The election really did not change much of the power balance from the Social Democrat-Amrita-Chakra dominated Fifty First Congress, even if the SRM won 34 more seats than in 2018. Despite the demise of the Amrita Party, there will be four IAM – Independent Amrita Members – sitting in the new Congress, who were elected through write-in votes and the party remaining on the ballot in Caesarea. 

The law and order National Union campaigned hard on a “don’t be a pussy” platform, but equating manliness with owning a big dog and supporting the police right or wrong (aka Blue Lives Matter) seemed hardly worth it as they managed to win only one more seat than in 2018. Jim Rome’s Jungle Party finished down one seat from 2018, but at least they took some votes away from the NU, those votes being unemployed or minimally employed adult boys living in their mom and dad’s basement, spending most of the day playing video games. 

The SRM claims its “win” was in large part due to the demise of the Amrita Party. But the real winner was the Chakra Party, who scooped up 43 more seats than in 2018. Most of those votes would likely have gone to Amrita. 

A whopping 22 parties (including the remnants of the Amrita party, known as “IAM”) will be represented in the 52^nd Congress, though nine of those parties hold only a single seat each. Try doing that with first-past-the-post! Thanks to proportional representation, no vote in Patria is ever wasted or elects no one. Even write-ins can win a seat, though this was due to nostalgia for the defunct Amrita Party rather than proportional representation per se.

 Campaign 2022 final score:

 SRM – 90 (+34 from 2018)

Social Democrats – 84 (-12)

Chakra – 76 (+43)

National Union – 22 (+1)

Green – 17 (+1)

Jungle – 10 (-1)

Lilith – 8 (+2)

Libertarian – 5 (unchanged)

Independent (Amrita) – 4**

Chastity – 2 (-1)

Family Values – 2 (unchanged)

Peoples’ Party – 2

Reconstruction Party - 2

Others* – 9

*one seat each: Pottsylvanian Alliance, United Patriots of Pottsylvania, United Farmers of Antioch, Lazurian Independent Party, Patriots Union of Nova Columbia, Incels’ Rights, Victory and Peace, Freedom Party, Popular Front of Caesarea.

** Now-defunct Amrita Party, aka “IAM” (Independent Amrita Members).

Seats won by precinct: 

Fredonia (9)

Chakra – 2, Green – 1, Jungle – 1, NU – 1, SD – 2, SRM – 2

 Haldimania (12)

Chakra –2, Green – 1, Libertarian – 1, NU – 1, SD – 3, SRM – 4

 Pottsylvania (13)

Chakra – 3, Lilith – 1, NU – 1, SD – 3, SRM – 3, Pottsylvanian Alliance – 1, United Patriots of Pottsylvania – 1

 Mauretania (15)

Chakra – 3, Green – 1, Jungle – 1, Lilith – 1, NU – 1, SD – 4, SRM – 3, Peoples’ Party – 1

 Canardiere (16)

Chakra – 3, Green – 1, Libertarian – 1, SD – 6, SRM – 5

 Ambrosia (17)

Chakra – 4, Green – 1, Lilith – 1, NU – 1, SD – 5, SRM – 5

 Antioch (19)

Chakra – 5, Jungle – 1, NU – 1, SD – 5, SRM – 6, United Farmers of Antioch – 1

 Arboria (21)

Chakra – 4, Green – 1, Lilith – 1, NU – 2, SD – 6, SRM – 6, Independent (Amrita) – 1

 Aeolia (24)

Chakra – 5, Green – 2, Jungle – 1, Libertarian – 1, NU – 1, SD – 6, SRM – 8

 Centralia (25)

Chakra – 6, Green – 2, Jungle – 1, Lilith – 1, NU – 3, SD – 5, SRM – 7

 Lazuria (27)

Chakra – 7, Green – 1, Jungle – 1, NU – 1, SD – 8, SRM – 8, Lazurian Independent Party – 1

 Nova Columbia (36)

Chakra – 9, Chastity – 1, Green – 2, Jungle – 1, Lilith – 1, NU – 1, SD – 8, SRM – 9, Patriots’ Union of Nova Columbia (PUNC) – 1, Peoples’ Party – 1, Incels’ Rights – 1, Reconstruction Party – 1

 Federal District of Castoropolis (38)

Chakra – 10, Chastity – 1, Family Values – 1, Green – 2, Jungle – 1, Libertarian – 1, NU – 1, SD – 7, SRM – 10, Independent (Amrita) – 1, Victory and Peace Party – 1, Freedom Party – 1, Reconstruction Party – 1

 Caesarea (61)

Chakra – 13, Family Values – 1, Green – 2, Jungle – 2, Libertarian – 1, Lilith – 2, NU – 7, SD – 16, SRM – 14, Independent (Amrita) – 2, Popular Front of Caesarea (PFC) – 1

As Patria awaits the 52nd Congress Inauguration Day on June 30, a reminder that Patria is not a place for social conservative culture wars. The tired old horses such as modest dress for women and no same-sex marriage left the barn a long time ago.

Battleground Precincts as Campaign 2022 ends

Today is the last day of the race for Patria’s Fifty Second Congress. Tomorrow is Election Day. Just as there are battleground states in the US presidential election campaign, there are battleground or swing precincts in Patria as the SRM, Social Democrats, Chakra and other parties attempt to woo voters from the now-defunct Amrita Party. The following is a brief look at the precincts that could swing the 2022 election.

Arboria

As the home base of the Amrita Party and Amma’s adopted “home” since the party’s formation in 2002, Arboria is one of the leading battlegrounds thanks to the demise of the Amrita Party in late 2021. The Chakra Party and SRM have been battling tooth and nail for Arboria’s 21 seats, with the Social Democrats and Greens also strongly in the hunt. There are likely enough Amma devotees in Arboria longing for the now-defunct party to elect at least one independent Amrita member through write-in votes.

Centralia

Patria’s old de-industrialized Rust Belt. Amrita took 9 of its 25 seats in 2018 while the Social Democrats won 6. The Social Dems are fighting hard for Patria’s former industrial heartland, in an attempt to stave off frustrated, poverty-stricken voters going for the macho-tough National Union and the “Patria First” SRM.

Nova Columbia

Usually a breeding ground for fringe and nutbar single-seat parties such as the Patriots’ Union of Nova Columbia (PUNC), as well as minor parties such as the Lilith, Chastity and Libertarians. With 36 seats up for grabs, a fair chunk of the minor party representation in the 52^nd Congress could come from Nova Columbia.

Pottsylvania

Like Nova Columbia, another hotbed of fringe and nutbar parties. The Pottsylvanian Alliance, United Patriots of Pottsylvania or some other stupid party is likely to take one of Pottsylvania’s 13 seats.

Federal District of Castoropolis & Caesarea

With 99 seats in play – 38 in Castoropolis and 61 in Caesarea – Patria’s largest city and the Caesarean suburbs and exurbs that surround it are the major prize in the 2022 election cycle. Note that unlike the District of Columbia, Patria’s capital city enjoys full representation in Congress. Like most major macro-world cities, Castoropolis is chock-full of liberals and hard-leftists, who will split the vote between the Greens and Social Democrats. The proliferation of yoga studios will translate into votes for the Chakra Party. Minor fringe parties usually pick up a seat or two in the Federal District and Caesarea, and along with Arboria there are some hard-core Amrita supporters who could write in an independent Amrita member or two.

As in 2018, Social Dems are playing the Bernie card.

Typical SRM campaign poster seen all over Patria.

Chakra Party could hold balance of power between SD and SRM.

NU men are tough as nails.

Early voting in Fredonia: SRM, Chakra, Social Dems in dead heat

 The feisty little Precinct of Fredonia (“First in freedom, first to fight”) traditionally votes one week earlier than the rest of Patria (TROP). As Patria’s smallest precinct, Fredonia holds only nine seats in Congress. The SRM, Chakra Party and Social Democrats took two seats each, with almost the same percentage of popular votes. The National Union, Green Party and Jungle Party were awarded one seat each of Fredonia’s delegation in the Fifty Second Congress. Fredonia more often than not goes its own way. Its early election returns are a poor predictor of how TROP will vote on April 16, but the 52nd Congress election is still too close to call in Patria’s 12 other Precincts plus the Federal District of Castoropolis.

SRM took two seats in Fredonia's early voting.

Two seats for the Chakras and Social Dems in Fredonia.

As Fredonia’s Early Election Day is also Ram Navami, the traditional “birthday” of Lord Rama, Patria post issued a stamp depicting Ram and Sita together.

“Don’t be a pussy!” as NU plays the Law and Order card

To virtually no one’s surprise, the National Union is campaigning hard on a Law and Order platform that can be summarized as pro-cop and anti-cat. Even more than National Unionists despise soft-on-crime liberals, they detest men who don’t like dogs, are scared of dogs, or who own cats. In the NU’s macho world, dogs are equated with manliness, loyalty and obedience, while cats are useless and effeminate as no police force has ever employed a feline unit and no home has ever been protected by a guard cat. No police department in Patria is in danger of being defunded, violent crime is generally quite rare in Patria, and most cops in Patria do not carry guns while walking foot patrols (but like London Bobbies, they do have nightsticks and know how to use them!) but nonetheless the NU is playing the pro-cop Blue Lives Matter (#bluelivesmatter) card to the hilt.

The NU’s 2022 campaign slogan found on posters and broadcast ads: “Don’t be a pussy!” referring both to cats and the female genitalia.

Finally, a reminder that Omicron is a street in Patria’s capital city Castoropolis (Kashipura). A very pleasant street that passes through the campus of the University of Castoropolis to boot. Patria has never imposed mask mandates, lockdowns, school closures, vaccine passports, or any other COVID-19 restrictions, other than focused protection in nursing homes, long-term care centers and the like. No party contesting the 2022 election is in favor of such things.

Patria’s Right: Hindu nationalism and Patria first

 

Patria’s rightists and conservatives, unlike their counterparts in the US, steer clear of tired old social conservative shibboleths such as banning abortion, advocating abstinence and pre-marital chastity, and keeping women in the kitchen (if not barefoot and pregnant). Even old-school Reagan-style economic conservatism (aka trickle-down theory) goes over like a lead balloon in Patria. Patria’s right is a dissident, populist right, not unlike their dissident, populist counterparts on the left (see previous blog entry). The platform of the SRM, Patria’s leading rightist party, could best be described as a combination of Narendra Modi and Donald Trump.

 Drawing from the concept of Hindutva, as propounded by Narendra Modi’s Bharatiya Janata Party (BJP), the SRM campaigns hard for Patria’s identity as a Hindu micronation. Virtually all SRM campaign posters (see above) and television ads feature Hindu gods and goddesses. From Donald Trump, the SRM borrows the slogan “Make Patria Great Again” as it pushes for Patria First economic policies, particularly discouraging imports by imposing tariffs on imported goods, and encouraging manufacture of all consumer goods in Patria – the Swadeshi movement advocated by Gandhi in the fight for Indian independence.

Note that SRM is almost never spelled out in full. The party’s official Sanskrit name is Swadeshi Ramrajya Mahasabha. Originally known as the Spiritual Regeneration Movement, the SRM has its origins in the 1960s hippie counterculture heyday, borrowing the name from Maharishi Mahesh Yogi’s transcendental meditation organization, but didn’t become a mainstream party until Patria’s 1989-90 Dharmic Revolution, at which time it was a left-leaning, liberal party. After the 2006 election, Amma’s devotees merged the SRM into the Amrita Party. But by 2010 the SRM-Amrita coalition fell apart as economic conservative remnants of the old SRM bolted from Amrita (in large measure as a result of the 2008-09 economic meltdown), took a sharp turn to the right and revived the SRM with the initials standing for something new. 

Throwing in its lot with the SRM in any rightist coalition is the “big dogs, tough men” National Union. “Obedience and respect for authority”, “where a man belongs”, “testosterone in your balls, NU on your ballot”, the macho, populist, blue lives matter (“there’s no such thing as a bad cop”), law and order National Union has its roots dating from the mid-19th century as a small-c conservative party. National Unionists once dominated Patria in the 1950s and 60s as a bland, centrist party like Ontario’s Bill Davis-era Tories. They should have died of irrelevance post-Dharmic Revolution, but since the 1990s the NU recast itself to become the leader in the men’s rights movement, thumbed its nose at soft-on-crime liberals, equated owning a big dog such as a pit bull or Rottweiler with being a real man (“cats are for pussies”) and has pushed every right wing law and order issue such as bringing back public executions, broken windows policing and even racial profiling for public safety (“when black males stop committing a disproportionate number of crimes, police will stop profiling them”). They may win only a small number of seats – their 21 seats in 2018 was considered a good showing – but National Unionists always seem to make the most noise on the campaign trail, even if violent crime is not a serious issue in Patria, bringing back the death penalty would be unconstitutional, and a lot of strong macho men are cat owners. The National Union may as well be called “Patria’s Proud Boys”. Note that the real US-based Proud Boys organization does not exist in Patria and would not be welcome should they attempt to launch a made-in-Patria chapter.

A typical National Union campaign poster.

"It's only the flu" - Patria doubles down on COVID-19 dissent

As Patria Post rolls out a new stamp dedicated to Sheetala, the donkey-riding goddess who cures infectious diseases from smallpox to COVID-19, the All-Patria Football Federation will resume its season, with fans in the stands to boot. Patria has launched a campaign against the fear of a generally mild and even asymptomatic disease that is of no more threat than the seasonal flu for those who have a healthy immune system. Posters and broadcast ads across Patria proclaim "it's only the flu" - in Patrienish kevál estí grippí. Physical/social distancing is now only voluntary ("At ease. Hug if you wish.", to paraphrase the roll call sergeant) and virtually all businesses from yoga studios to barber shops have re-opened. Face masks are sometimes seen being worn on transit vehicles and indoor spaces, but the general message in Patria is that unless you are actually sick, caring for someone who is sick, or work in a hospital, there is no need to wear a mask.

Without formally announcing it, Patria is going for herd immunity and is clearly on the side of COVID-19 dissidents, who have been fighting almost from the get-go the authoritarian government over-reach, technological surveillance run amok and stamping out of civil liberties for the sake of the one percent (or less) of the population who are actually at risk of potentially fatal complications from COVID-19. Echoing the "I do not consent" speech delivered by the SRM last month, the National Union said on the floor of Congress that choosing not to buy into the fear-mongering is Patria's "sovereign right to choose". Following is the speech by the NU House Leader:

Madam Speaker, citizens of Patria do not and need not live in fear of COVID-19. As the national campaign says, “It’s only the flu” and we have a sovereign right to choose how we are to respond to the macro-national fear-mongers, the so-called experts and the other powers that be.

If you want to stay home, stay home. That's your sovereign right to choose.

If you want to wear a mask, wear a mask. That's your sovereign right to choose.

If you want to avoid large crowds, avoid large crowds. That's your sovereign right to choose.

I am not required to descend into poverty for YOU.

I am not required to abstain from human contact for YOU.

I refuse to participate in "quarantine life" until there's an unsafe, untested vaccine released in eighteen months, by which time we may be close to achieving herd immunity, making a vaccine virtually unnecessary.

I refuse to receive a vaccine to make others feel safer. That's my sovereign right to choose!

If you're convinced the vaccine is safe and effective, you can get it yourself.

Some of you are allowing fear and policies devoid of scientifically accurate data to destroy the country you live in and ruin your life.

Life is full of risks, whether the risk of being hit by a car while walking or the risk of exposure to bacteria and viruses, many of which spread before symptoms manifest and after they subside.

We have a sovereign right to receive OR refuse vaccines.

We have a sovereign right to trust our immune system to do its job and to strengthen it by actual exposure to germs and viruses.

The data was inaccurate at best; purposely overblown to justify government overreaction at worst.

Stop allowing the government to destroy the food supply, small businesses, medical autonomy, access to healthcare, mass gatherings, privacy rights, our mental health and our constitutionally guaranteed freedom.

When the "new normal" is filled with starvation, depression, suicide, child abuse, domestic violence, imprisonment, governmental spying, and pure DESPERATION, the "virus" is going to look preferable to the world you helped facilitate.

I'm going to turn this around on people from now on. Those that say I'm (or anyone that supports this) putting money over lives by wanting the country back open for business...

Hear this:

-YOU don't care about the people that will kill themselves out of hopelessness.

-YOU don't care about small businesses that will close their doors permanently.

-YOU don't care about the women and children that will be victims of domestic abuse.

-YOU don't care about people defaulting on their mortgages.

-YOU don't care about bills going unpaid by families with ZERO income right now.

-YOU don't care about people wondering where their next meal will come from.

-YOU don't care about the people that will lose their sobriety and slip back into alcoholism and drug abuse.

-YOU don't care about the people that will starve.

-YOU support the looting and rioting that has taken place, some of it motivated more by frustration stemming from the lockdown and mass unemployment than by police brutality or Black Lives Matter.

-YOU don't care about anyone that's murdered the longer this shut down goes on.

-YOU don't care about people's mental health.

-YOU don't care about the children that DO need teachers and educators to guide and educate them. Teach them online, you say. You particularly don’t care about the children from low-income families who can’t afford internet access or a home computer.

-YOU don't care about the economy crashing down around us.

-YOU DON'T CARE.

-YOU love your shackles.

-YOU are pathetic, begging your leaders for MORE shut down and MORE regulations and MORE handouts.

I will NOT tolerate another person telling me that I don't care about lives.

I care about the situation in its entirety.

But YOU don't care about any of that so...
YOU stay home.
YOU wear a mask.
YOU live in fear.

I on the other hand will not. As is my sovereign right to choose NOT TO!

Yes, you can hash-tag it! #sovereignrighttochoose

Patria feels the Bern for the 51st Congress!

Patria awakens on Earth Day - the day after Election Day 2018 - to find the Bernie Sanders-inspired Social Democrats have won the most seats in the 51st Congress-elect. The Social Dems took 96 seats - elected by mixed-member proportional representation - in the 333-seat Congress, up 47 from 2014. The Amrita Party of Amma's "Embracing Patria" devotees finished a strong second with 78 seats (up 10 from 2014). The "Patria First" SRM, despite all the noise they made about taking back the economy and bringing the jobs home, gained only one seat more than 2014, but with 56 seats the SRM is still a strong force that will oppose the likely SD-Amrita-Chakra-Green coalition. Notwithstanding the popularity of right-wing populists and nationalists in the macro-world from Donald Trump's America to Doug Ford's Ontario, voters in Patria just weren't buying the economic nationalism, tariffs and protectionism that the SRM has been pushing for years. Why such a strong surge for the SD? A need for real change? Giving the right wing the middle-finger salute? Not buying the fear-mongering of the "Faith. Family Freedom" types tweeting @Patriavotes2018 who warned against an impending communist takeover? More likely that voters across Patria simply said "FUCK THIS!" and threw their lot in with the so-called Berners or Bernie-crats, hoping that old-school democratic socialism added to the Amrita and Chakra Party's Hindu/yoga/embracing the world mix will improve their economic prospects over the next four years more than building tariff walls and promises to "make Patria great again".

The real losers in 2018 are the macho law-and-order, pit bull-owning, gun-toting, cop-loving National Union, who sink further into irrelevance with only 21 seats (down 5 from 2014) despite running one of the loudest campaigns of 2018, vilifying wimpy soft-on-crime liberal "pussies" (both two legs and four - the NU hates cats and cat owners because real men own big dogs such as pit bulls and rottweilers). Jim Rome's Jungle Party also lost big. The Clones could manage only 11 seats (down a whopping 17 from 2014) as the Rome show has become tired and uninspired over the past four years.

96 seats in the 51st Congress-elect. Because FUCK THIS SHIT!

Party standings in the 51st Congress-elect:

Social Democrats – 96 (+47 from 2014)

Amrita – 78 (+10)

SRM – 56 (+1)

Chakra – 33 (-26)

National Union – 21 (-5)

Green – 16 (+3)

Jungle – 11 (-17)

Lilith – 6 (-1)

Libertarian – 5 (-2)

Chastity – 3 (unchanged)

Family Values – 2 (unchanged)

others* – 6

*one seat each: Pottsylvanian Alliance, Lazurian Independent Party, Patriots Union Nova Columbia (PUNC), Peoples’ Party, Reconstruction Party, Popular Front of Caesarea.

Seats awarded by Precinct:

Fredonia (9)

Amrita – 2

Chakra – 1

Green – 1

NU – 1

SD – 2

SRM – 2

Haldimania (12)

Amrita – 2

Chakra – 1

Green – 1

Jungle – 1

NU – 1

SD – 4

SRM – 2

Pottsylvania (13)

Amrita – 3

Chakra – 2

Green – 1

Libertarian – 1

SD – 3

SRM – 2

Pottsylvanian Alliance – 1

Mauretania (15)

Amrita – 2

Chakra – 1

Green – 1

Lilith – 1

Jungle – 1

NU – 2

SD – 5

SRM – 2

Canardiere (16)

Amrita – 2

Chakra – 1

Chastity – 1

Libertarian – 1

NU – 1

SD – 6

SRM – 4

Ambrosia (17)

Amrita – 3

Chakra – 2

Green – 1

Lilith – 1

NU – 1

SD – 5

SRM – 4

Antioch (19)

Amrita – 4

Chakra – 1

Jungle – 1

NU – 1

SD – 7

SRM – 5

Arboria (21)

Amrita – 5

Chakra – 2

Green – 1

NU – 2

SD – 7

SRM – 3

Reconstruction Party – 1

Aeolia (24)

Amrita – 6

Chakra – 2

Green – 1

Libertarian – 1

Jungle – 1

SD – 7

SRM – 6

Centralia (25)

Amrita – 9

Chakra – 2

Green – 1

Jungle – 1

NU – 2

SD – 6

SRM – 4

Lazuria (27)

Amrita – 6

Chakra – 5

Green – 1

Jungle – 1

NU – 2

SD – 7

SRM – 4

Lazurian Independent Party – 1

Nova Columbia (36)

Amrita – 7

Chakra – 4

Family Values – 1

Green – 1

Jungle – 2

Lilith – 1

NU – 2

SD – 10

SRM – 6

Patriots Union (PUNC) – 1

Peoples’ Party – 1

Federal Dist. of Castoropolis (38)

Amrita – 12

Chakra – 2

Green – 2

Lilith – 1

Jungle – 1

Chastity – 1

Libertarian – 1

NU – 2

SD – 11

SRM – 5

Caesarea (61)

Amrita – 15

Chakra – 7

Chastity – 1

Family Values – 1

Green – 4

Jungle – 2

Libertarian – 1

Lilith – 2

NU – 4

SD – 16

SRM – 7

Popular Front of Caesarea (PFC) – 1

The Fourth Session of the 50th Congress (4·L 2017-18) is about to return for a lame-duck session that will continue until a couple days before Inauguration Day, June 30. There are a number of items on the order paper while the 51st Congress-elect waits out the transition, including Patria's fiscal 2019 budget. Traditionally the budget is the last item to be ratified before Congress adjourns for the summer recess or Inauguration Day.

National Union going to the dogs

February may be the Dog Days of Campaign 2018, but for the law-and-order National Union every day is a dog day. Resorting to tired old tropes that "real men" are not cat owners and men who don't like dogs or are scared of dogs are effete liberal soft-on-crime pussycats, National Unionists are portraying themselves in their campaign for the 51st Congress as owners of big dogs such as German shepherds, Rottweilers and Pit Bulls.

National Union is punching above its weight (a paltry 26 seats in the 50th Congress) but they do appeal to old he-man macho male values, men's rights advocates, men who fear the end of the traditional patriarchy ("you can't spell patriarchy without Patria" say some National Unionists), men who fear that crime in Patria is out of control and men who feel threatened by the Social Democrat-Amrita axis.

#patriavotes2018 Election Day is April 21. Don't forget to stoop and scoop. There's plenty of dog shit on the campaign trail.

Tenrecs for #Patria200

I'm a tenrec and I stand for Patria!

For #Patria200, Patria's bicentennial celebration in 2018, get to know the tenrec! Like the Canadian beaver, the Russian bear, the Australian koala or kangaroo, and the American bald eagle, Patria has a de facto national animal: the little hedgehog-like tenrec, found almost exclusively in Madagascar. Its name is derived from the Malagasy tandraka; it has nothing to do with the number ten, or with recreation ("rec") for that matter. In Patria's official language, tandrací is Patrienish for tenrec.

The tenrec was likely the first mammal to land on Madagascar millions of years ago, so the early lineage evolved over generations to adapt its body shape to its environment. Through a process called “adaptive radiation,” new tenrec species appeared, each physically suited for its ecological niche and free of competition, according to the International Union for Conservation of Nature (IUCN)/SSC Afrotheria Specialist Group. The IUCN does not consider tenrecs an endangered species, but they do suffer from loss of habitat in their native Madagascar due to ongoing destruction of forests for slash-and-burn agriculture, charcoal, and cattle pasture.

The group ranges from the velvety-soft giant otter shrew, to the water-loving aquatic tenrec, to the punk rocker-looking streaked tenrec. They are mostly nocturnal and rely on their sensitive whiskers and keen sense of smell and hearing to find food. There are some 30 species of tenrecs, however one specific species will likely not be officially designated as Patria's national animal, should the 50th Congress (or the 51st Congress after June 30, 2018) act on it.

When threatened, a tenrec rolls into a ball, exposing its spiny covering and protecting its underbelly. The spiny ball is nearly impenetrable. Continued provocation can elicit it coming out of its ball and advancing, gaping, and head bucking to the threat. Should a predator dare to bite the tenrec, it can be left with a mouthful of short quills.

Tenrecs even make good pets!

This little critter is not exactly cute and cuddly (beware of its sharp quills!) but it represents Patria in a very real sense. Virtually unrecognized or unknown by most of the world and often thought of as a hedgehog, which it isn't. To celebrate Patria's bicentennial, a movement is afoot for Congress to officially designate the tenrec as Patria's national animal. It is only unofficially recognized as such. Circa 1883, as the UK, France, Germany and the other great macro-world powers sought out colonies in Africa and Asia, Patria joined the so-called "scramble for Africa" and claimed Madagascar as part of its colonial empire along with the Spratly Islands. The Madagascar claim has never been disputed by any macro-national world power (not even France, who ruled Madagascar from the 1890s until independence in 1960), so it must have been kosher. Nonetheless Patria abandoned its claim to Madagascar by 1900, not only when Congress failed to ratify a resolution that would have made the tenrec Patria's national animal, but more importantly when Patria recognized the evils of colonialism and the costs of taking up the “white man’s burden” decades before the great macro-world powers granted their colonies independence. But small colonies of tenrecs were brought to Patria, where they continue to thrive to this day. They can be spotted as urban wildlife, as common as squirrels in Castoropolis and Patria's other major cities.

Big dogs for National Unionists. Little tenrecs for the rest of Patria!

While on the topic of animals and the upcoming #patriavotes2018 election, the National Union has been campaigning hard on the BIG DOGS! TOUGH MEN! slogan. Macho testosterone-fueled law-and-order Marlboro-smoking Harley-riding National Union men (so their stereotype goes) own big dogs like rottweilers and pit bulls. According to the NU, men who don't like dogs, are scared of dogs, or who just prefer to own cats are soft-on-crime liberal pussies. The NU is doing everything possible to turn Patria into a macho tough men-only world and to remind voters that you can't spell PATRIARCHY without PATRIA, as they turn the clock back to the 1950s. National Unionists can have their big dogs. The rest of Patria prefers little tenrecs. For its part, Patria's Green Party is rolling out a SAVE THE TENRECS campaign, though as noted above tenrecs are not threatened with extinction.

If a tenrec could talk, it would say "I'm not a hedgehog" and "What are you doing to celebrate #Patria200?"

50th Congress winners and losers, remembering "Hurricane" Carter

The real winner in Patria's election is true democracy. Unlike in Canada's nearly useless first-past-the-post, where so many votes are wasted and elect no one, Patria's proportional representation ensures that virtually every party on the ballot will obtain representation in Congress, even if only a single seat.

Although they lost 10 seats from 2010, the Amrita Party can claim victory in Campaign 2014. There will be four more years of "love and serve", four more years of Amma as the Honorable Member from the Precinct of Arboria. The Social Democrats, an old-school liberal-progressive and social justice party that was virtually untouched by the Dharmic Revolution in 1989-90, is arguably the biggest winner of Campaign 2014. With 49 seats in the 50th Congress-elect, up 16 seats from 2010, they are no longer a "mid-major". The SD will be a key ally of the Amrita and Chakra parties, giving the so-called Positive Possibilities coalition the simple 51% majority needed to pass most legislation. Note that Patria's annual budgets and special bills designated as requiring a "super majority" for ratification require a two-thirds majority; consequently the Amrita-Chakra-SD coalition will require support of the some of the smaller parties such as the Greens and Lilith, as well as any SRM or Jungle Party votes they can pry away.

The SRM is back in force, its "Patria first" and "take back the economy" messages resonating well with voters who are still trying to recover from the GED (global economic downturn) of the last decade. The SRM's commitment to traditional Hinduism also got out the votes in Campaign 2014, and will help the more moderate SRMers find common ground with Amrita, and support the PosPos coalition on key legislation. Bipartisan in the US Congress is more like "quadripartisan" or "pentapartisan" in Patria!

The Jungle Party (28 seats, up 7 from 2010) stepped its game up. Jim Rome and the Clones are no longer a niche party. Jim Rome attracts more than unemployed (or unemployable), overweight, socially inept 20 or 30-something men living in their parents' basements or couch-surfing with fellow nerds and getting little pleasure or intellectual stimulation out of life beyond what they hear on the radio for three hours every working day. Rome attracts Patriens from all walks of life who crave a mature, sober voice of in-depth sports talk and hard-hitting social commentary.

The macho he-men of the National Union came up losers in 2014. They have sunk further into irrelevance - from 70 seats in 2006, to only 35 in 2010, and now down to 26, and trailing the Jungle Party, who likely siphoned off some NU voters. National Unionists have only themselves to blame. The image of NU men owning big dogs and portraying cat owners as pussies in every sense of the word did not go over well. Unlike previous campaigns, the NU did not even mention the death penalty or public flogging for petty lawbreakers. Indeed, the NU's traditional law and order "lock 'em up and throw away key" platform took a back seat to the image of the NU man as a pitbull-owning, Marlboro-smoking, Harley-riding alpha male.

The biggest losers are arguably Patria's social conservatives and the tiny evangelical Christian fringe that has been fighting an incredibly losing battle to take Patria back to the 1950s. On the Campaign 2014 trail, support for such social conservative hobby horses as banning public displays of affection by boyfriend-girlfriend couples and advocating "modest" dress for women dwindled to an all-time low. Patria's apparent shift to the left - if the resurgence of the Social Democrats is any evidence of a leftward or liberal trend - also helped put the nails into this particular right-wing coffin. Even the most orthodox SRM Hindus recognize that Patria's streets and public squares are not ashrams and temples, where of course they would frown on couples' kissing and women in short skirts. And of course, two days before election day the Supreme Court bitch-slapped the Bible-toters by overturning Patria's ban on same-sex marriage.

The day after the election, Patria paused to remember Rubin "Hurricane" Carter, the former boxer and advocate for the wrongfully imprisoned, who died at age 76. Carter's boxing career was cut short when he was sentenced to life in prison for a murder he didn't commit. Following his release in 1985 after almost 20 years in the New Jersey State Prison, he took up residence in Canada and established the Association in Defence of the Wrongly Convicted. In the 1970s a song by Bob Dylan drew attention to Carter's case and may have helped expedite his release from prison.

Hurricane - Bob Dylan from LA REVOLUCION ES AHORA! on Vimeo.

Total Transformation: tough parenting for National Union moms and dads

If you do any AM radio listening at all, particularly to satellite-fed conservative talk shows and the usual syndicated sports talkers, you've probably heard ads for The Total Transformation: a tough-love zero-tolerance parenting program that claims to turn misbehaving, unruly, short attention-span children (from pre-school through teenagers) into compliant, obedient little National Unionists who will do as they are told by authority figures (i.e. their mom or dad). It is touted as a "step-by-step plan for stopping defiance, back talk, lying and disrespect":

Who’s really in charge at your home?

If you are trying to parent a defiant, out–of–control child, you know how their behavior affects everyone and everything in your home, from siblings to your relationship with your spouse.

It’s time to put you back in control of your home, and getting that control is simpler than you think.

The Total Transformation® will give you back the respect you deserve and the authority your children actually need from you.

As James Lehman, one of the creators of the Total Transformation program, notes: "The Total Transformation Program will help you deal with all the behaviors children and adolescents present as they develop into young adults. We focus primarily on the problem behaviors that prevent a child from getting along with others: developing self–esteem, managing anger, underachievement, school performance, substance abuse, and general social problem solving. We will give you specific tools and techniques to deal with problems such as fighting, arguing with parents, lying, temper tantrums, talking back, destroying property, picking on siblings or classmates, acting sullen and withdrawn, lack of motivation, cigarette smoking, substance abuse, and behavior problems in school and in the community. It’s important to note that the skills you learn in the program will help you to parent all your children, not only those who have attitude or behavior problems."

Although Total Transformation appears to be gender-neutral, it is particularly targeted to parents of boys. Everyone - from parents to police - knows that boys have much shorter attention spans and far more behavioral problems than girls. Parents can use Total Transformation in order to mold their wimpy little boys into tough National Union men who will keep the NU well represented in Congress in the decades to come.

To state the obvious, Total Transformation is endorsed and approved by the National Union - Patria's purveyors of obedience and respect for authority since 1854. Law and order begin at home.

National Union: pitbulls not pussycats

The Marlboro Cowboy rides again in NU country!

Once again in 2014 the National Unionists are trotting out all the usual stereotypical macho, he-man tropes: strict discipline, respect for authority, law and order, where a man belongs, boys to men, forged in the fire, and of course NATIONAL UNION TOUGH. Since the 1980s, National Unionists have been slagging women, liberals, soft-on-crime bleeding hearts and effeminate men (regardless of sexual orientation). Now they've targeted a new enemy: cat owners. Yes, cats are unmanly! According to the NU, real men own big dogs like pit bulls and rottweilers. Typical NU anti-cat slogans: BIG DOGS FOR TOUGH MEN. SEPARATING THE REAL MEN FROM THE PUSSYCATS.

Watch it, National Union men. This campaign could backfire on April 19. Don't piss off cat owners! Have you ever tried to herd cats? It's a lot tougher to be a catboy than a cowboy!