Jungle Party's Jim Rome moves to new US network

As of Jan. 2, 2013, Jungle Party house leader Jim Rome will move his "Jungle" weekday radio show from Premiere Radio Networks, where the program had been syndicated since the 1990s, to CBS Sports Radio. Your US affiliate may change. But in Patria, the Jungle will continue on PMBC, 1152 kHz in Castoropolis, Patria's leading sports talk station.

New stamps from Patria Post for 2013

Patria Post has issued two new stamps to commemorate two birth anniversaries in January 2013: Swami Vivekananda (born in Calcutta, West Bengal on Jan. 12, 1863) and Swami Kripalvananda (born in Dabhoi, Gujarat on Jan. 11, 1913), who is affectionately known as Bapuji ("dear grandfather"). Both are revered in Patria as "spiritual grandfathers" and sources of inspiration long after their passing in 1902 and 1981 respectively.

The Vivekananda Sesquicentennial stamp depicts Swami Vivekananda as he appeared in 1893 when he spoke at the Parliament of Religions in Chicago, and for all practical purposes effectively introduced Hinduism to America. Note the silhouette of 21st century Chicago skyline.

On the Kripalvananda Centennial stamp, Bapuji is shown writing on his slate. For many years he had taken a vow of silence and communicated only in this manner.

Note that on both stamps, "1" is not the denomination of one Patrienish Rupee, but denotes the current basic first class letter rate, which is about to be hiked to RsPat 25. Like Canada Post and USPS, Patria Post now issues non-denominated "forever" stamps.

Bapuji has previously appeared on a Patrienish stamp, issued in 2000. This stamp will be re-issued in 2013 as part of Patria's celebrations of Bapuji's 100th birth anniversary.

Patria is established on the principles and heritage of Sanatan Dharma or Hinduism. Nonetheless, Christmas is an official government holiday in Patria. Above is Patria Post's 2012 Christmas issue, also a non-denominated "forever" stamp.

108 Names of Parvati Devi

Parvati Devi performed this Sanskrit chant for Amma during Amma's recent hug-fest in Michigan - in November 2012, not in Dearborn, not Ypsilanti, not Ann Arbor, but in the heart of the D, downtown Detroit! Note that the honorary citizen of Patria Parvati is not singing this to or about herself. The Parvati referenced in this chant is the Goddess Parvati, i.e. the consort of Lord Shiva.

Parvati on CBC Radio One

Parvati Devi (an honorary citizen of Patria since 2010) was a guest on the CBC Radio program "Outfront". On Canada's national radio broadcaster, Parvati talks candidly about the creation of YIN: Yoga In The Nightclub, the meaning of yoga to her and the creative process behind writing, producing, and creating multi media shows.

Parvati is currently touring the United States, bringing her YIN show to Red State heartlands such as Oklahoma and Texas where evangelical Christianity and college football co-exist as the state religion. Please visit Parvati's recently revamped website, and her e-magazine (new issues online monthly).

More austerity in works as Congress returns to work

Patria's Congress has returned from summer recess, kicking off the Third Session of the 49th Congress (3·XLIX 2012-13). The opening of the new session of Congress usually takes place on the third Monday of September, but was delayed a couple days because of Rosh Hashanah and Ganesh Chaturthi. On the order paper, picking up right where Congress left off in June, are more austerity measures, more cuts to government programs and services, a possible devaluation of the Patrienish Rupee, and likely the return of the Occupy Patria movement. With the US election coming up in November, Patria is also awaiting a possible transition to the Romney administration, although hopeful of four more years of Obama.

The session begins with the NHL locked out and the possibility of all or part of the upcoming hockey season being wiped out as in 2004-05. But there's always the Patrienish Hockey League. Castoropolis Centurions v. Caesarea Violets is the Leafs-Habs rivalry of the PHL.

Lolo Jones: Patria's social conservative role model

The just-concluded Games of the XXX Olympiad, aka the 2012 Summer Olympics in London have given Patria a new role model for social conservatism: American track and field athlete Lolo Jones. Although she didn't win a medal in her 100 meter hurdles event, by publicly proclaiming that she is still a virgin and intends to remain so until marriage, Ms. Jones - along with New York Jets quarterback Tim Tebow - has become a gold-medal role model for Patria's youth and an example of the wholesome, clean-cut social conservative values that Patria is attempting to inculcate, particularly among the religious-right rump in Congress consisting of the Family Values, Chastity and Incel Parties, as well as the Hindu traditionalists who have been playing the "modest dress for women:" card.

"It's just something, a gift that I want to give to my husband," she said. "But please understand this journey has been hard. If there's virgins out there, I just want to let them know, it's the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. Harder than training for the Olympics, harder than graduating from college, has been to stay a virgin before marriage."

At least one caller on the Jim Rome show had the take that if Ms. Jones could have gotten laid during the Olympics it would have helped her win a medal. (She finished fourth - the worst place to be for an Olympic athlete, as your only hope to backdoor into a bronze medal is for one of the medalists to be DQed or fail a doping test.) Other callers, e-mailers, texters and posters on Jim Rome's Facebook and Twitter pages noted that it's hard, indeed almost impossible, for Olympians not to score off the field, given that sex was rampant in the Olympic Village and condoms were handed out to athletes as if they were candy (or steroids). As Jim Rome says, sex is the all-time undefeated undisputed heavyweight champion of the world. But Ms. Jones is ahead on points going into the 15th round of the title bout.

Ms. Jones has no plans to retire. She has already set her sights on the 2016 Rio Olympics.

Perhaps Lolo Jones should date Tim Tebow. See dictionary of metaphorical phrases for "the blind leading the blind". But don't bet on it. "I'm pretty sure I'm just going to invite (Tim) Tebow to church," Ms. Jones said. "It's a 100% way not to get rejected."

Bitter economic pills as Congress adjourns at midterm

The Second Session of Patria's 49th Congress adjourned today for its summer recess (winter recess for our friends in Australia, New Zealand, Argentina, etc.) with the traditional "State of the Union" annual message to Congress warning of some bitter economic medicine - aka European-style austerity - with no real promise of recovery. Note also an endorsement in the 2012 US presidential race.

The following is the text of the Annual Message to Congress:

Om premamritanandamayyai nityam namo namah. Adorations to the Mother who is full of divine love and immortal bliss.  With the Divine Mother’s blessings, the 49^th Congressus Patriaë has reached the midpoint of its term of office. 

 At the mid-term mark, we can say that Patria’s economy has improved marginally from this time a year ago when citizens of Patria were exhorted to take up smoking as a means of creating jobs and creating tax revenue. Certainly there has been some improvement since the annual message to Congress that was delivered on this day in 2009 or since the start of the GED [Global Economic Downturn] in late 2008. Nonetheless the economy has not improved enough so that the danger of sliding back into recession has abated. There is still a very real possibility of a double-dip recession in the upcoming quarter of this year, as has already happened in the United Kingdom, or even a full-blown Euro zone-style depression such as in Spain or Greece.

While voters in France and Greece have rejected austerity, in Patria the need to rein in government spending, cut the bloated bureaucracy, stop the gravy train dead in its tracks and reduce the burden of taxation is no greater than in the Euro zone, Rob Ford’s Toronto, or the Tea Party’s vision of America. Both the Positive Possibilities and Diet Coke Party coalitions know, as do most of the small independent parties, that in the remaining two years of this Congress’ term of office some bitter economic pills, such as cutting thousands of public-sector jobs and slashing the budgets of virtually every federal, precinct and local government department or ministry, must be swallowed in order to stave off a new great depression, the likes of which will make the 1930s seem like boom times. Austerity – or tapas, to use the Sanskrit term – is the price that must be paid in order to avoid a massive debt crisis that we, our children and our children’s children will be paying down for decades to come. Austerity is the short term pain for long-term gain so that Patria’s economy can truly grow, made-in-Patria will replace made-in-China, and an entire generation of college graduates will have a better future than unpaid internships, short-term contract jobettes, and minimum wage jobs as McDonalds burger flippers and Starbucks baristas, still living with mom and dad in their 30s, still paying off student loans in their 40s, and still unmarried and childless in their 50s, unable to bear the cost of settling down to raise a family thanks to decades of debt.

As the economy in Patria and in the macro-world failed to thrive in 2011 and 2012, this session of Congress witnessed the growth of the Occupy movement. Beginning on Wall Street, proliferating among the major cities of North America and Europe, it was not long before this rag-tag, unwashed, scruffy band of anarchists, leftists, stoners, unemployed and unemployable set up camp in Vivekananda Park, in full view of the Castoropolis Stock Exchange. Our message to the occupiers, should they return this summer, perhaps like in Quebec, using university students as pawns in their game: some of the “one percenters” you so despise got to be part of the one percent by marketing personal care products such as soap, shampoo and deodorant. Introduce yourself to these products, get a job, work hard, and become productive members of society. Even if your job pays only a minuscule fraction of what the average “one percenter” takes home, you will at least derive satisfaction from the simple acts of paying a mortgage, balancing a checkbook, filing an income tax return and other adult responsibilities.

 Only a few days ago, massive budget cuts and apathy to public broadcasting on the part of Canada’s ruling Conservative government forced the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation to end Radio Canada International’s shortwave broadcasts after almost 70 years on the air. Nothwithstanding the extent of austerity measures, this Congress is committed to providing adequate funding so that Ramrajyavani may continue to broadcast to the world via shortwave radio, which is not an electronic relic or a refuge for nerds and luddites, but a cost-effective, easily accessible, virtually censorship-resistant method of broadcasting that has done yeoman service for nine decades, can reach parts of the world where internet access is restricted, unavailable or unaffordable, and will still be functioning even in times of natural disasters, extended power outages and internet censorship.

Two years ago, the Inaugural Address proclaimed that “Patria must be made a safe place for social conservatives”. But Patria’s social conservative values do not particularly include those shibboleths so dear to Republicans in the US and right-wingers generally such as outlawing abortion – that tired old horse left the barn in 1973 – or banning gay marriages, or limiting grade school sex education classes to abstinence only. Patria’s social conservative values, however, do include modest dress for women. In Patria we believe women should dress with the dignity worthy of visiting a temple or tirtha [place of pilgrimage, e.g. Kayavarohan]. Though not by passing of legislation mandating formal dress codes such as in Iran, Patria will nonetheless continue to insist that women and girls avoid dressing like sluts and tempting men into violence and unwanted sexual advances, or at least luring men to believe that they are fair game. Patria will continue to advocate social conservative values in order to make this realm a safe place and a comfort zone for those men who chose to practice lifelong celibacy through monastic vows or those who have had celibacy thrust upon them by lacking in National Union-style traditional male macho or by being on the autistic spectrum and never being able to experience an intimate relationship. Patria commits itself to creating a safe community for such introverted, sensitive, socially lacking men in the remaining two years of this Congress.

During the second session, as Tim Tebow’s legend grew on and off the field, the former Denver Broncos and now New York Jets quarterback became a role model for Patria’s youth. Being so intensely grounded in his faith, proudly proclaiming his virginity, never uttering a four-letter word stronger than “gosh”, and maintaining a scrubbed, milk-fed, clean-cut appearance when out of his football uniform, Tim Tebow is a shining example of the social conservatism that Patria is seeking to instill. We can only hope that Tebow’s fundamentalist Christianity will not stand in the way of his being open to the unconditional love of the Amrita Party’s house leader and someday receiving Amma’s darshan.

Patria generally does not endorse candidates or parties in foreign or macro-national elections. But as America votes in November and US citizens in Patria take the necessary steps to register and obtain absentee ballots, Patria will, albeit rather unenthusiastically and with some reservations, endorse Barack Obama for a second term as President of the United States. Yes, the world’s most powerful economy has mostly failed to turn around. And for all the promises of “change” that have actually been delivered in the past four years, the Obama administration might as well be George W. Bush’s third term. The continued imprisonment of alleged terrorists without trial or charges and targeted assassinations of US citizens by drone missiles would even outdo Bush. Just as in 1980, a weak, dithering incumbent Democrat has bumbled away four years doing too little to repair a failing economy and deal with an ongoing crisis in the Persian Gulf. But to the Republicans in America and their supporters in Patria: this is not 1980, Barack Obama is not Jimmy Carter, and Ronald Reagan is not walking through that door. Neither is Rick Santorum or Ron Paul. To many US Republicans, and true paleo-conservatives in Patria, Mitt Romney is a mediocre, uninspiring RINO – Republican in name only – who has little to run on except extreme wealth and a father who managed to persuade people to drive Ramblers and Gremlins. Romney is a dishwater-dull, bland near-centrist claiming to be a bona fide conservative, following in the tradition of Bob Dole in 1996 or John McCain in 2008. One can only wonder “is this the best the GOP can do”? At least Dole and McCain were decorated war veterans. It is a rather dismal choice that Americans face, particularly for economic and social conservatives, but also for liberals and progressives who are still awaiting the promises of hope and change.

 Om Sri Gurubhyo Namah. Hari Om.

Vishwa me shanti rahe. Let peace prevail on earth. 

Under the power vested in me by the Constitution of Patria, I declare closed the Second Session of the 49^th Congress, and call this Congress to re-assemble here on Wednesday, the 19^th of September 2012, to open the Third Session of the 49^th Congress.