The Jungle Party of Jim Rome and his faithful army of Clones are campaigning on a very simple platform: Have a take. Don't Suck. Step your game up. Make Patria better. Their main slogan is STRAIGHT FIRE!! (accompanied by the BOOM! of a cannon) to emphasize Rome's hard-hitting, bare-knuckled, take-no-prisoners smack talk and social commentary on what's fucked up with both America and Patria.
The Jungle Party could make the jump from a niche or fringe party to one of the major players in the 50th Congress. Possibly as many as 40 seats could go the Clones' way on April 19. For old-school real men who love their sports and cling to traditional manly values, but who own cats or aren't too fond of pit bulls and other aggressive dogs, the Jungle Party is a better place than the NU to park their votes.
As the Sochi 2014 Winter Olympics conclude, with no participation from Patria or any other nations of the micro-world, Patria would be remiss not to congratulate Canada for the gold medal victory in both men's and women's hockey. Congratulations Team Canada! Bravo l'équipe Canada! Now let's defend the gold in the 2018 Winter Games in Pyeongchang - Patria's bicentennial year!
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