Patria's decade in review

2000
As the decade, century and millennium began, Patria was still online with a 56 k dial-up connection. It was still the heyday of Geocities and non-interactive web pages; quite some time before blogs, Facebook, Twitter, Youtube, etc. There wasn't yet any need for high-speed DSL or cable internet.

The National Union-led Federal District of Castoropolis legislature imposed a dusk-to-dawn curfew and dress code on all under-18s in Patria's capital. No do-rags, baggy jeans, bandannas, or other "gang" clothing.

The 46th Congress ratified a Treaty of Friendship, Alliance and Mutual Regard between the Holy Empire of Reunion and Patria.

After watching the US presidential election fiasco, Patria decided to stick with hand-counted paper ballots for the 2002 election.

2001
The latest iteration of Reference Grammar of the Patrienish Language (Grammatíc-referítu linguë patríenice) was released.

Patria's devotees of Mata Amritanandamayi bolt the SRM and Chakra Parties to establish the Amrita Party.

9/11 - the event the defined the decade - immediately transforms the National Union into George W. Bush's number one cheerleader, "Ready aye ready at America's side". "Let's roll" as the events of Sept. 11, 2001 define the 47th Congress election campaign.

2002
The Castoropolis Centurions win the Kamala Cup. The perennially underachieving Toronto Maple Leafs of the PHL would at least have one championship season in this decade.

47th Congress election: National Union wins 85 seats, two more than the Amrita Party. But the tungsten-tough law-and-0rder NU is again stuck in opposition, looking up to Amrita's 83 seats, along with the SRM's 30. Another new-for-2002 party, the Rationalists, win 23 seats on an Ayn Rand, atheism and laissez-faire capitalism platform.

An extra day in office for the 46th Congress, as the inauguration of the 47th Congress is postponed until July 1. Not because Inauguration Day fell on a Sunday, but because the World Cup final was played on June 30.

2003
Patria remained SARS-free. Canada, particularly the Toronto area, wasn't so lucky.

While gay and lesbian marriages became legal in Canada, Congress affirmed that marriage is a sacred commitment between a man and a woman and refused to recognize or permit same-sex marriages in Patria.

The National Union continued to back Bush and Blair to the hilt, while the spiritual parties (SRM, Chakra, Amrita) spoke out against the invasion of Iraq and the potentially endless and unwinnable GWOT (Global War On Terror).

2004
Patria declares war on spam by going after the suckers who fall for the Nigerian scammers and the chumps who buy cut-rate Viagra, fake Rolexes and other spam merch. These morons, once tracked down and outed, were publicly ridiculed on Suckers who Bought Snake Oil, which quickly became one of the most popular programs on Ramrajyavani-Doordarshan (Patrienish television network).

Patria waded further into politically incorrect waters by condemning Israel as a Jewish-supremacist apartheid state and noting that not only are most of the neo-cons surrounding Bush Jews, but the war in Iraq was being fought at the behest of the Jews and to benefit the Israel-first war mongers. Virtually all parties in Congress favored a free and democratic Palestinian state. Jewish groups were aghast. Organized Jewry of course detests Patria anyway, as the Inner Realm is a haven for non-practicing Jews attracted to yoga and Hinduism.

2005
While the 2004-05 NHL season was wiped out by a lockout, the PHL played a full schedule. The Centurions were bounced from the Kamala Cup playoffs in 5 games and have not been to the post-season since.

The NU - once Patria's leading apologists for Bush and Blair's war - became almost silent on the war in Iraq. The most macho war-mongering National Unionists and the most peacenik far-left Chakrites and Social Democrats now have common ground against an unwinnable war fought on the basis of lies and deception (i.e. Saddam had WMD's and was harboring 9/11 terrorists).

In the wake of the South Asian tsunami, the Hon. Member from the Precinct of Arboria and Amrita Party house leader (better known as Amma) pledged one billion rupees toward relief efforts in India and Sri Lanka.

2006
The Jim Rome Show becomes one of the most popular radio programs in Patria. Van Smack, J-Stew and other leading clones are drafted into Congress as the Jungle Party is established.

The SRM and Amrita, which were a de facto coalition during the 47th Congress parties officially merged for the 48th Congress election.

48th Congress election: The Amrita Party (merged with the SRM) won 88 seats. Combined with the Chakra's 48 seats, the spiritual parties and new agers again kept the NU (70 seats) in check. Jim Rome's Jungle Party won 12 seats, not bad for a brand new party that had little in the way of a platform beyond "have a take and don't suck".

The 48th Congress Inaugural Address advocated changing Patria's legal system to "guilty until proven innocent" and full legalization of recreational drugs.

2007
Patria joins the social networking revolution by connecting with other micronationalists on Facebook.

The Archives of Patria is kept busy digitizing old images from the pre-digital camera era as the 35mm film camera is officially declared dead, along with VHS videos and audio cassettes.

Castoropolis Transit took the last tokens out of circulation and no longer accepted cash fares. The GoPatriaCard smart card, similar to London's Oyster Card, was adopted by virtually all public transit systems in Patria.

2008
The worldwide recession drags Patria down with the US and the rest of the world's economies. Just before the economy drove off a cliff in the latter part of the year, the price of gas hit an all-time high of RsPat. 50 a litre.

Patria received an apparently serious offer from the African country of Cameroon, offering some land for sale. No action was taken as the offer appeared to be an African scam

Popular opinion in Patria overwhelmingly endorses Barack Obama for US President.

The SRM-Amrita merger begins to show signs of falling apart as the economy goes down the tubes.

Shonny the Cablinasian is bounced from the Jungle Party caucus and declared ineligible for re-election in a "business decision".

2009
In the wake of the Great Recession of 2008-09, Patria is swept by a groundswell of "bring the jobs home", "no more offshoring" and "no more made-in-China" protectionism.

The annual message to Congress at the close of the Third Session urged all Patrienish citizens who still had jobs to spend as much as possible on consumer goods, particularly big-ticket items, noting that consumer spending is a patriotic duty to defeat the global economic downturn, just as saving ration coupons was a patriotic duty to defeat the Axis in World War II.

In one of the worst-kept secrets (rumors had been swirling for almost a year), the SRM-Amrita merger was dissolved and the SRM re-established for the 49th Congress election.

The SRM becomes the leading protectionist party in the 2010 election campaign, advocating Gandhian "Swadeshi" self-sufficiency and rejection of imported goods.

Yahoo killed off Geocities, and Patria's official website migrated to a new host.

Follow the Campaign 2010 tweets!

A new Twitter account, twitter.com/patriavotes2010, has been set up as a 140-characters-or-less forum for electioneering slogans, promises and other news from the 49th Congress campaign trail. All the parties, from the big players to the nutbar one-seat fringers, will tweet on this site until the day before the election (all campaigning must end at 11:59 PM on April 16, 2010). Of course, for campaign news that is greater than 140 characters long, stay tuned to this blog!

National Union's platform in road signs

NO LEFTISTS.
NO FEMINISTS.
NO LIBERALS.

What part of "no" don't you understand?

Law and Order. It's where we live. Tough as nails. Vote National Union.

SRM - Swadeshi Ramrajya Movement

To almost no one's surprise, the SRM is pushing Gandhi-style swadeshi - domestic production of virtually all consumer goods (not just hand-spun cloth) and rejection of imports to the greatest extent possible. Indeed, the SRM may now stand for Swadeshi Ramrajya Movement, as well as Spiritual Regeneration Movement.

BRING THE JOBS HOME!
NO MORE OFFSHORING!
NO MORE OUTSOURCING!
BUY THE GOODS YOUR NEIGHBORS HELP TO MANUFACTURE!
SAY NO TO "MADE IN CHINA"! SAY YES TO "MADE IN PATRIA"!

Nothing plays as well to laid-off workers and those who are in fear of losing their jobs as simplistic, knee-jerk protectionism. All is fair in love and war and recessions.

"Under this plan of life, in seeming to serve India to the exclusion of every other country, I do not harm any other country. My patriotism is both exclusive and inclusive. It is exclusive in the sense that, in all humility, I confine my attention to the land of my birth, but is inclusive in the sense that my service is not of a competitive or antagonistic nature. SIC UTERE TUO UT ALIENUM NON LAEDAS is not merely a legal maxim, but it is a grand doctrine of life. It is the key to proper practice of ahimsa or love."

"I have never considered the exclusion of everything foreign under every conceivable circumstance as a part of Swadeshi. The broad definition of Swadeshi is the use of all home-made things to the exclusion of foreign things, in so far as such use is necessary for the protection of home industry, more especially those industries without which India will become pauperized. In my opinion, therefore, Swadeshi which excludes the use of everything foreign, no matter how beneficial it may be, and irrespective of the fact that it impoverishes nobody, is a narrow interpretation of Swadeshi." (Mahatma Gandhi, 1926)

Gandhi's thoughts on the meaning of Swadeshi.

The Gospel of Swadeshi

National Union: Tough on crime, tough on kids!

For the past two decades, the National Union has been tough on street punks. But for 2010, they're tough on kids before they even get onto the streets or are old enough to become punks. Appealing to moms and dads to instill tough love in their kids, the NU advocates corporal punishment, "obedience" and "respect for authority".

Spanking, of course, plays to the NU's balls-to-the-wall, forged-in-the-fire, testosterone-fueled advocacy of manly values. Another way to mold impressionable young boys into tough men. Everyone knows that being spanked at home and caned at school helps to build manly, macho character.

Although the death penalty has been abolished (like much of the civilized macro-world, certain US states notwithstanding), per Article VII of the Constitution of Patria, the NU is not only committed to bringing back the death penalty, they promise a return to public executions. Because nothing says tough on crime more than firing up the electric chair, public hangings, or even beheadings in the town square, and on national television to boot.

1989: Spark of Liberation

"Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!" As many visitors to Patria know, Patria's "Dharmic Revolution" - its unique micronational movement to embrace Hinduism, Sanskrit, yoga, New Age and Eastern-based spirituality - was inspired by the fall of the Berlin Wall and the mostly non-violent (Rumania excepted) democratic revolutions that swept the former Warsaw Pact nations of Eastern Europe in the latter part of 1989 as the Cold War ended and the Soviet Union imploded.

In Patria, the momentous events of twenty years ago were an inspiration to focus inwardly, to begin a spiritual quest, and to tear down walls within that might as well have been made of brick and fortified with machine gun-toting guards. The bland, dishwater-dull centrist, small-l liberal, and small-c conservative parties that had governed Patria for decades and formed the bulk of the 43rd Congress were turfed out of power almost as swiftly as the monolithic Communists of the old Warsaw Pact. Perhaps not coincidentally, in late 1989 an election for a new Congressus Patriaë was on the horizon. In the 44th Congress election of 1990, the Spiritual Regeneration Movement, Chakra Party and the now-defunct New Forum of Patria - new parties that could not have been imagined on the ballot four years earlier - rose up to meet the challenges of a new consciousness and Patria's post-Cold War longing for spiritual values.

Just as there are many Germans who grew up in East Germany and two decades later still long for the pre-November 1989 days of job security, guaranteed housing and child care, cheap (if seldom available) consumer goods, unsafe at any speed Trabant cars and the discredited leadership of Erich Honecker, there are many citizens of Patria who still long for the old days of the boring, secular, but nominally Judeo-Christian republic. The rightist, tough-on-crime, macho-man National Union panders to much of this nostalgia, at least to the populist perception that law and order has crumbled, crime has gone out of control, and Patria has become irreversably feminized by hatha/raja/bhakti yoga, Hinduism and New Age spirituality.

Swine flu: Patria not buying the fear-mongering

"This ain't 1918, folks"! That sums up Patria's take on the H1N1 (aka swine) flu fear-mongering. It's only a mild strain of flu, and for most people the worst that will happen is that they will get sick for a couple days, recover, and have a strengthened immune system. Don't worry, or don't worry too much. And don't be in a rush to get a H1N1 shot. Trust your own immune system more than any vaccine, particularly one that has been rushed into production without adequate research into potential side effects. The best way to prevent flu and stay healthy through the 2010 election campaign is to take the usual precautions (wash or sanitize hands frequently, cough/sneeze into your sleeve, avoid hanging out with sick people, stay home if you are sick, etc.) rather than inject some unproven and possibly toxic stuff into your body.

Patria vividly remembers the 1976 Swine Flu farce and the useless shots that didn't protect against what was hyped as a killer flu but stuck millions of Americans with Guillain-Barre paralysis. Just another brutal experience in the 40th Congress (1974-1978).

Patria's new post-Geocities home: patria.zxq.net

Click here to visit Patria's new home on the web!

It's kind of an odd-looking URL (like, WTF does "zxq" mean?), but can't beat the price! Yes, despite the imminent demise of Geocities, there are still free web hosting services! Even better, there is at least one free web hosting services that doesn't screw up your page with pop-ups or splatter ads: Zymic.com. That is where Patria's new site is hosted. If you have still have a website on Geocities, this may be a good place to move it before Geocities dies on Oct. 26. Apparently there will be no stay of execution from the governor of Yahoo.

Congressional apportionment 2006

As the 2010 election campaign begins, a look back to 2006. The following are the number of seats awarded to each party in the 48th Congress, along with the percentage of the popular vote received in the election held on April 15, 2006.

Amrita Party.........................88 seats (26.42% of popular vote)
National Union......................70 (21.02%)
Chakra Party.........................48 (14.41%)
Green Party...........................24 (7.21%)
Progressive Labor.................19 (5.71%)
Lilith Party............................16 (4.8%)
Libertarian............................15 (4.5%)
Jungle Party..........................12 (3.6%)
Social Democrats..................11 (3.3%)
Chastity Party....................... 6 (1.8%)
Freedom Party...................... 5 (1.5%)
Family Values Party............. 4 (1.2%)
Personal Responsibility........ 4 (1.2%)
Rationalist Party................... 2 (0.6%)
others (*see below)............... 9 (2.7%)
* One seat each: Alpha-Omega Party, Reconstruction Party, Victory and Peace Party, Lazurian Independent Party, Peoples' Party, Popular Front of Pottsylvania, New Age Party, Christian Heritage Party, National Democratic Union.

Since the Social Democrats and Progressive Labor merged for all practical purposes during the 48th Congress, and have made the merger official for 2010, the combined party holds 30 seats, placing the real leftists ahead of the fake leftists hiding their conservatism behind an environmentalist facade (i.e. the Greens).

Back from summer recess! Fourth Session, 48th Congress

Congress is back in session. The Fourth Session of the 48th Congressus Patriaë (4·XLVIII 2009-10) convened today to begin a session that will adjourn in June 2010, a few days before Inauguration Day. At the top of the Fourth Session's order paper, is of course the battle against the GED (Global Economic Downturn, not a high school equivalency diploma). Congress warns that even if the recession may have "officially" ended, or will end during this session, any recovery will be jobless. With double-digit unemployment (and a jobless rate as high as 35% in Patria's Rust Belt) and anemic consumer spending, notwithstanding the exhortation to go out and buy that was delivered when the Third Session adjourned for the summer recess, it will still feel like a recession for the remainder of this Congress' term of office and could even be GED, Round 2. A double-dip recession in early 2010 is a very real possibility.

Also on the order paper is migrating Patria's web site from the soon-to-be-defunct Geocities to a free server, yet to be determined.

When the Speaker's gavel hit the dais to open the fourth and final session of the 48th Congress, it also marks the de facto official start of the election campaign for the 49th Congress. Patria votes April 17, 2010. As the Jungle Party would say, "Step your game up! Have a campaign trail take and don't suck"!

From Kids Can Press - a micronational handbook for kids 12 and under!

How to Build Your Own Country is an interactive and totally original learning experience that shows kids how to build their very own country from scratch. This book, the only one of its kind, offers children the expertise and advice they'll need to plant their flag in the backyard, in the bedroom or online. Kids will be amazed to discover that anyone can do it. Nation-building advice is peppered with examples of events that have shaped countries throughout history, teaching young readers about government, elections, geography and global issues.

Backed up with lots of amazing examples of real micronations - some established or ruled by kids - How to Build Your Own Country promises to inspire, entertain and inform young nation-builders.

Want to build your very own country from scratch? It's easy:

Step 1: Stake Out Your Identity ... with a flag, money and a national anthem. Learn how to put your country's name on the map.

Step 2: Run the Country ... with a government, constitution, laws and an economy.

Step 3: Meet the Neighbors … and join other nations on the big issues that face the whole world, such as poverty, global warming, security and international aid.

How To Build Your Own Country is part of CitizenKid: A collection of books that inform children about the world and inspire them to be better global citizens.

Written by Valerie Wyatt, with illustrations by Fred Rix. Published by Kids Can Press, 2009. ISBN: 978-1-55453-310-7

Disclaimer: the above blurb was copied from Kids Can's web page. Patria does not endorse this book in any way.

Minor parties - fringe and nutbar

To complete the profiles of the parties holding seats in the 48th Congress and contesting the 49th Congress election, the following parties are little more than fringe groups, one-trick ponies that campaign on only one issue, or simply nutbars that game Patria's system of proportional representation and manage to gain a seat or two.

Family Values Party - An old-line social conservative party that broke away from the National Union in 1997, charging that the NU was too concerned with macho values rather than social conservatism and traditional family values (e.g. hard-core homophobia; the FVP's main slogan is "Healthy, Happy, Heterosexual"). Along with believing that homosexuality can be cured with psychotherapy and/or born-again Christianity, the FVP would like to return Patria to a neo-1950's "Leave It To Beaver" era when men were breadwinners, women stayed home with the kids, and gays stayed in the closet.

Party for Personal Responsibility - Formerly the Party for Fiscal Responsibility, the PPR was another breakaway party from the National Union in 1997-98. Originally a one-issue party of strict economic conservatism whose mantras are "Pay down the deficit, cut social spending, cut taxes", the PPR has added personal responsibility - both economic and social - to its one-issue platform.

Lilith Party - Also a new party for 1998, the Lilith Party is a women's party founded to counter the macho National Union. Taking its name from the Lilith Fair all-women music festival held near Toronto in 1997, Lilith mainly attracts hard-core feminists (i.e. those who spell women as "womyn"), out-of-the-closet lesbians, and teenage girls attracted by the slogan "the Grrrrls Party". Anita Bryants and Margaret Thatchers are not welcome in Lilith!

Rationalist Party - Launched in 2001, the Rationalist Party of Patria was established as a protest against the Hindu bloc. The Rationalists are not only strictly secular and advocate separation of church and state but actively encourage atheism. Their main slogan is "Reason not Religion, Science not Spirit". The Rationalists have also adopted some of the "Objectivist" philosophy of Ayn Rand. Among the Rationalist Party caucus are Dagny Taggart and John Galt, the heroes of Atlas Shrugged.

Freedom Party - A new party for the 2006 elections, the Freedom Party was intended to be a successor to the Patriots' Party, which surprisingly received a good chunk of protest votes in 1994 with its "Raise the flag, raise your fist, RISE UP!" slogan. Like its Patriot predecessor, the Freedom Party is a far-right, openly anti-Semitic party, dedicated to preserving free speech, particularly defending politically incorrect websites or "anything the Jews don't like" against censorship. This fun bunch of brown-shirted or white-hooded guys (and perhaps a few girls) claim to be "Patria's only pro-white party".

Chastity Party - The second new party to hit the 48th Congress campaign trail in 2006, the Chastity Party is another one-issue party: fight pre-marital sex, "Just say no until you say I do" is the Chastity Party's slogan, probably inspired by a bumper sticker spotted in Red-State Bible-Belt America.

Several other minor parties hold one or two seats in Congress. Among them are an assortment of New Age splinter groups, the Lazurian Independent Party (which advocates the Precinct of Lazuria's independence from Patria), and the National Democratic Union and Peoples' Party - the last remnants of the pre-1990 liberal centrists swept away by the Dharmic Revolution.

Minor parties from the macro-world

The following minor parties in Patria actually exist in some form in the macronational world. (In the micronational community, real-life existing countries such as Canada and the U.S. are known as "macronations".)

Green Party of Patria - Unlike like the Green Party of Canada, which gets shut out of Canada's House of Commons and provincial legistatures because of the dinosaur first-past-the-post electoral system, the Green Party of Patria is awarded a number of seats in the Congressus Patriaë (24 in 2006) thanks to proportional representation. Like the macro-national Greens of Canada, the U.S. and Europe, the Greens of Patria appear to be leftist, progressive, bike-riding, Birkenstock-wearing, tree-hugging environmentalists. But a quick glance at their platform would reveal them to be economic conservatives and even Ayn Rand-style free-enterprise capitalists disguised as politically correct left-wingers.

Libertarian Party of Patria - "More freedom through less government", strongly civil libertarian, staunch advocates of free speech and opponents of all forms of censorship, the Libertarian party of Patria, like Libertarian Parties in the United States and Canada, is conservative on economic issues but very liberal on "free choice" issues such as legalization of drugs or abortion. There really is not much need for a Libertarian party in Patria, since Patria has become quite libertarian since the 1990s - decriminalizing drugs for all practical purposes, no restrictions on abortion, and strongly free-speech. In Patria, there are no laws criminalizing freedom of thought such as Holocaust denial. To the extent that they do not advocate violence against specific individuals or incite rioting, far-right nutbars such as Ernst Zundel who might find themselves jailed in Canada would not be prosecuted (or persecuted) for politically incorrect thoughts in Patria.

Social Democrats/Progressive Labor - Much like Canada's New Democrats, the Social Democrats are a social-justice, centre-left, "tax-and-spend liberal" or "progressive" party dating from the 1930s. Progressive Labor is another very old party, going back to the 1890s, that claims to represent the working proletariat. The SD and PL will merge in 2010, in an attempt to unite the left. The combined party will likely be known simply as Social Democrats, dropping any references to the Red-baiting Cold War era baggage contained in terms such as "progressive" and "labor".

Jungle Party - Have a take! Don't suck!

The Jungle Party of Patria is a new party established in 2006, created by popular demand of the Clones - Patria's faithful devotees of the Jim Rome Show - to have Jim Rome elected to the Congressus Patriaë, along with the leader of the XR4TI Crew, Jason Stewart, aka "Mr. Automatic", "J-Stew", and the best contestant Blind Date ever had. The Jungle Party caucus is made up of the leading clones and Smack-Off participants, including Iafrate, Jeff in Richmond, Terrence from Sierra Madre, Jeff on a car phone in Phoenix, Greg in Vegas, Rachel in Houston, and multiple Smack-Off champion Shonny "Boom goes the dynamite!" the Cablinasian. In 2008, Cablinasian was disqualified from sitting in Congress (apparently a "business decision") and was replaced by Brad in Corona.

The Jungle Party's platform - beyond "step your game up", "come strong", "have a take" and "don't suck" - includes tax cuts for males 30 years of age or over who are minimally employed and living with their parents, usually in the basement, as well as a promise to fight impaired driving with the Jim Rome Drunk Bus, to be made available to any athlete or celebrity in Patria who has had too much to drink by calling 1-800-BLEAHHH!!

Although holding only 12 seats in the 48th Congress, the Jungle Party is set to make big gains in the 2010 election, given the Jim Rome show's huge popularity on its flagship station in Patria, PMBC (1152 AM) in Castoropolis.

Disclaimer: The Jungle Party of Patria has no de jure or de facto connection whatsoever to the Jim Rome Show, Jim Rome is Burning, the Premiere Radio Networks, or the Stuck Nut online forum. Good night now!

Chakra Party - no gurus, just right!

A New Age party that burst onto the scene in 1990 with the demise of the mainstream centrist parties and Patria's spiritual re-awakening of 1989-90, the Chakra Party was the SRM's chief rival for the Hindu vote during the 1990s. While the SRM stands solidly behind pure, unadulterated Hindu teachings, the Chakra Party advocates a broader New Age spirituality - partially Hindu-based, but also drawing from other Eastern traditions such as Tibetan Buddhism - as well as practical transformation in one's everyday life rather than rigid adherence to gurus, Hindu dogma and rituals. The Chakra Party's 1998 campaign slogan was "Transformation not Transcendence!", referring to transforming one's life in this world, in this lifetime, rather than transcending one's everyday existence in an attempt to live in some kind of other-worldly nirvana. For a discussion of the path of transformation v. the path of transcendence, and why the latter is unlikely to bring about personal growth or inner peace, it is recommended to read The Path of Transformation by Shakti Gawain.

The SRM and Chakra Party were bitter rivals during the '98 and '02 election campaigns, accusing each other of being full of "out-of-touch pandits, gurus and sadhus" and "spaced out New Age wannabes" respectively, but after the elections, they patched up some of their differences in order to present a united front against the National Union's macho, not to mention the secular humanism, atheism and agnosticism propounded by the Greens, Libertarians, Rationalists, Social Democrats and the other loose ends of Patria's political party smorgasbord. In 2002 the Chakra Party was hit even harder than the SRM by the new Amrita Party. With only eight seats in the 47th Congress, down from 84 in the 46th, the Chakra Party was reduced to a mere rump. But the Chakra Party rebounded strongly in 2006 to take 48 seats in the 48th Congress. The Chakras do not dislike gurus per se, but strongly oppose the guru-centric personality cults such as found in the Amrita Party; hence the slogan "No gurus, just right!" The party takes its name from the chakras, the seven centers of energy and consciousness within the body, according to yogic philosophy.

National Union - Where a man belongs!

A long-established small-c conservative party that was somewhat centrist and bland (think Ontario's Progressive Conservative governments during the heyday of Leslie Frost, John Robarts and William Davis), the National Union dominated Congress from the 1930s until 1970. After being hammered in the 39th Congress elections and fading into obscurity in the 1970s, the NU re-defined itself in the 43rd Congress campaign of 1986 as "The Man's Party", valuing "Pride, Tradition, Commitment to Excellence". Ever since then, the NU has strongly challenged the Hindu parties by standing for pure, unashamed "manly values" and no-nonsense Law-and-Order. "Tough on crime, tough on welfare cheats!", "Zero tolerance, maximum penalties!", "Top dog for real men", "Forged in the fire, tungsten tough!", "Testosterone in your balls = National Union on your ballot!", "Law and order, tooth and nail" are among the alpha-male-pandering slogans the NU has trotted out over the past two decades. The NU abhors welfare and social programs ("the man's way: Personal responsibility and self-determination!") and adores tough-as-nails male role models like the nicotine-fueled macho Marlboro Cowboy (indeed, the NU even used the slogan "National Union men are cigarette smoking tough!"), John Wayne, Ronald Reagan, and even Margaret Thatcher. The NU considers Thatcher an honorary male, who earned her y chromosome in the Falklands War! In response to 9/11, the NU added "Win the War" to its law and order, tough-guy platform. For the 2002 election campaign, the NU whipped up propaganda for George W. Bush's war on terror, promising to be as tough on terrorists as on petty thugs, advocating torture and public executions. But in 2006, the NU abandoned its cheerleading for Gee Dubya and condemned the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan as unwinnable wastes of manhood ("real men don't die in needless wars overseas, but fight crime at home").

The NU even despises cat owners as wimpy, effeminate men: "the NU is not for pussycats. Or for men who prefer cats to dogs when it comes to animal companions. National Union men own big dogs like rottweilers and pit bulls!"

Since 1998, when the NU took a majority of seats in the Federal District of Castoropolis, the NU has played the broken-window theory of law enforcement to the hilt in Patria's capital city. Jaywalkers, litterbugs, subway fare evaders, panhandlers and other petty quality-of-life scofflaws have been ruthlessly prosecuted and jailed (some luckless jaywalkers in downtown Castoropolis even wound up with 30 days in the slammer) in an effort to deter the murderers, rapists and al-Qaeda wannabe's. "Today's jaywalker = tomorrow's terrorist" was one of the NU's slogans. The NU also advocates racial profiling for public safety and has instituted a dress code in Castoropolis. For the benefit of visitors to Patria's capital, the following are the main points of the dress code:

• No do-rags or bandannas
  
• No cornrows, dreadlocks or other non-standard male hair styles
• No baggy jeans or cargo pants
  
• No hooded sweatshirts
• Baseball caps must be worn facing forward
• No stocking caps, unless temperature is below 0ºC/32ºF
• No excessive "bling bling" (jewellery), such as oversize crucifixes or Nike pendants.

Have you spanked your kid today? The National Union supports corporal punishment, including caning or strapping in school.

It doesn't get any tougher than the National Union. Tough times, tough choices, tough men!

Spiritual Regeneration Movement - fighting the recession with Hindu dharma

In some ways resembling India's Bharatiya Janata Party, the Spiritual Regeneration Movement (SRM) is Patria's original Hindu fundamentalist/nationalist/revivalist party. The Spiritual Regeneration Movement can trace its history in Patria back to the hippies, flower children and counter-culturists of the 1960s, who, like their counterparts in the U.S., Canada and Europe began to study yoga, Hinduism, ISKCON's Hare Krishna and Maharishi's Transcendental Meditation. From these humble beginnings, the SRM received its charter as an official political party in 1989. As the Dharmic Revolution was unfolding in 1989-90, the SRM contested its first elections to the 44th Congress and helped to put the final nail in the coffin of the liberal, secular parties that had ruled Patria for more than a century. The SRM is founded on the teachings of the Vedas, the Bhagavad Gita, Patanjali's Yoga Sutras, the Devi Mahatmyam, 19th century Hindu reformers and missionaries such as Ramakrishna and Vivekananda, as well as the many modern-day gurus, saints and divine beings.

Over the past two decades. the SRM has spearheaded efforts to make Yoga Patria's national sport and Sanskrit one of the official languages, but has failed in its attempt to make Patria 100% vegetarian or at least to outlaw the eating of beef. Yes, you can get a Big Mac or Whopper in Patria, but not for lack of effort on the part of the SRM to ban McDeath's, Bugger King and other U.S. beef-guzzling fast food joints!

The supporters of the SRM are the front line of Patria's spiritual warriors, standing shoulder to shoulder to defend Hinduism, not only as a religion or spiritual path, not only as a recession-resistant shelter from the economic storm, but as the bulwark of Patria's cultural identity.

SRM-Amrita Party merger and split - Although both the SRM and Amrita Party consistently denied rumors of a merger during the 2002 election campaign, on May 1, 2002 the two parties agreed to a de facto merger that gave them 113 seats and a comfortable lead over the National Union in the 47th Congress. The SRM and Amrita retained nominally separate identities, i.e. members of Congress could identify either as SRM or Amrita if they choose, but the parties had a single platform and national office. The combination was known as "SRM-A". For 2006 the SRM-A officially merged and campaigned for the 48th Congress as a single party, the Amrita Party of Patria. The SRM was officially defunct as of June 30, 2006. In late 2008 amid the cratering economy, rumors began to re-surface that the SRM would be re-established. In April 2009, to almost no one's surprise, the SRM was officially resurrected and entered the race for the 49th Congress as a new party. Announcing its split from the Amrita Party, the SRM particularly slagged the guru personality cults: "...the SRM is not drawn to the personality cult that often surrounds gurus who have become celebrities in the West, gurus who have beome multi-millionaires by milking their mostly Anglo-Saxon and Jewish devotees, or gurus who have turned out to be fakes, abusers, or sexual predators. We have the greatest love and admiration for Amma, indeed many members of the SRM consider themselves devotees of the Hugging Saint, but we believe that the Amrita Party has failed to adequately deal with the economic downturn that began in 2008."

During the campaign, the SRM may become known as the Swadeshi Regeneration Movement. Taking the Third Session closing message to heart (see blog entry for June 26, 2009), the SRM has promised to fight the recession on a platform of strict protectionism, with a neo-Gandhian "swadeshi" spin. According to a recent SRM communiqué: "...the SRM will stand behind the protectionists. We will stimulate Patria's economy by voting in favor of tariffs and duties on cheap mostly Chinese-made goods, thereby encouraging domestic production of consumer goods of equal or better quality. We believe in self-sufficiency and domestic production of consumer goods and services. The SRM will support economic stimulus packages in order to re-open the shuttered factories and re-establish Patria's manufacturing industry. Say no to made-in-China. SRM holds the key to recovery!".

Watch for the SRM, Amrita and Chakra Parties to pull out negative campaign ads and other non-violent heavy artillery as they go head-to-head (or crown chakra-to-crown chakra) with each other for the hearts and minds of Patria's Hindu, New Age and Eastern-spirituality-in-general voters.

Amrita Party - Mother's love in the 49th Congress

[Blogger's note - in the weeks to come, this site will present brief profiles of the parties that hold seats in the 48th Congress and are campaigning for the 49th Congress. These party profiles will replace the individual parties' pages on soon-to-be-defunct Geocities.]

The Amrita Party of Patria was established in August 2001 as the offering of Patria's devotees of Her Holiness, Mata Amritanandamayi Devi, known as "Amma", "Ammachi" or simply Mother to millions of devotees worldwide who revere her as a divine being, guru, and spiritual mother.

Ammachi herself even holds a seat in Congress -- though she has never held public office in her native India -- representing "God's own Country" in Patria, the Precinct of Arboria.

The original intent of the Amrita Party was not to draw Hindu nationalist votes away from the Spiritual Regeneration Movement (SRM) and New Age votes away from the Chakra party but to complement those parties in order to form an unbreakable spiritual bulwark against the secular right wing, the Rationalists and the National Union. Following the 2002 elections in which the Amrita Party and SRM won 83 and 30 seats respectively in the 47th Congress, the two parties united under the banner of SRM-Amrita (SRM-A) and were formally merged as the Amrita Party of Patria for the 2006 election campaign. The Amrita Party currently holds 88 seats in the 48th Congress, and has been able to push through legislation by forming an uneasy coalition with the Chakra Party, as well as the Greens, Lilith Party and other so-called "progressive" parties.

Among the highlights of the Amrita Party's achievements since 2002:

• Inclusion of Ammachi's teachings and bhajans (devotional songs) in the curriculum of Patria's gurukulam schools.
• Opening of a Patrienish branch of the Amrita Institute of Medical Sciences (AIMS) hospital.
• Establishment of a campus of the Amrita University in Patria.
• Establishment of a permanent Ammachi ashram in Patria, in Karunanagar, Caesarea, easily accessible via the Caesarea Coast Line of the Castoropolis and Caesarea Railways (CCR).
  
• Addition of Amrita Television to all basic cable TV services in Patria.

DISCLAIMER: The Amrita Party of Patria exists only in the unrecognized country ("micronation") known as the Inner Realm of Patria (Antarbhumi Ramrajya) and has no connection whatsoever with the MA Center, Mata Amritanandamayi Math, Amma Foundation of Canada, or any actual Amma-related organization in any recognized country of the world.

October 26, 2009 - Geocities dies!

Yahoo is killing off Geocities, effective October 26, 2009. That's actually a bit of a stay of execution, since it was believed Geocities would get the axe sometime during the summer, perhaps by the end of this month.

In the meantime, Patria's web pages are still available, though of course will not be updated further. They can also be viewed on the Internet Archive's Wayback Machine.

Where Patria will go web-wise will be decided early in the Fourth Session, when the 48th Congress re-convenes in September. Don't bet the farm on seeing Patria's old pages hosted on pop-up filled spyware-spawning Angelfire or Tripod, assuming those Clinton-era free hosting services are going to be around for much longer after the demise of Geocities.

Congress gotta say goodbye for the summer...

The Third Session, 48th Congress (3·XLVIII 2008-09) adjourned for the northern hemisphere summer recess today. No, the members of Congress will not send you all their love every day in a letter sealed with a kiss. But they closed out the session with the traditional annual message to Congress - as close as it gets in Patria to a State of the Union speech - containing the strongest calls for protectionism, buy-Patrienish and spend-yourself-out-of-recession ever heard since the start of the GED (global economic downturn).

XLVIII Con. Pat.

Annual Message to Congress (at close of Third Session)

June 26, 2009

Om Amriteswaryai Namah. Jai Karunamayi. Om Sri Maha-Rajñyai Namaha. Salutations to Devi who is the Empress of the Universe. With the Divine Mother’s blessings, the 48th Congressus Patriaë has reached the three-quarter point in its term of office.

As this session is about to adjourn, let us pause for a moment to note the passing yesterday of Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson, two icons of 40th, 41st and 42nd Congress pop culture.

Although it is traditional to deliver an annual message at the closing of each session of Congress, this message will not enumerate the highlights of the Third Session from the election of Barack Obama to the rise of Twitter as the next big thing. Rather, this message will focus on the one single over-riding all-consuming issue that this Congress, indeed the legislatures of the entire democratic world, was faced with since last September: the imploding, crashing economy and the legacy of shuttered factories, out-of-business retail stores, millions of lost jobs, devastated retirement savings, foreclosed homes, bankrupt businesses, and all the other untold pain and suffering brought on by the current recession, indeed the darkest economic times since the 1930s.

Although it may pale in comparison to Barack Obama’s trillion-dollar stimulus package passed by the US Congress, this session has nonetheless enacted a stimulus package designed to breathe life into this shuddering corpse of an economy.

Much like the WPA projects three-quarters of a century ago that left America with a legacy of Art Deco public buildings, Patria’s stimulus package includes almost half a trillion rupees earmarked for infrastructure initiatives. Although infrastructure projects have been criticized as being outdated FDR-era make-work schemes that do not create many long-term permanent jobs once the bridges are built, the roads are repaved and the high-speed railway track is laid, desperate times call for “give a man a fish and feed him for a day” employment initiatives that in the short run will pay the bills and give people fish as well as put other foods on the table for a day or for as many days as needed until the economy improves.

In this session we have offered Patrienish Motor Works loans and bailout funds amounting to almost 3 billion rupees. What GM, Ford and Chrysler are to America, PMW is to Patria. For almost a century, your neighbors have helped build cars and trucks right here in Patria. Our proud auto-making legacy must not go the way of GM – headed toward bankruptcy court – or Chrysler – bought out by Fiat, which, as we all know stands for “Fix It Again, Tony”. Patria’s automotive industry must not be allowed to fail. But the ultimate survival of PMW is up to you. If you are still working and not in danger of losing your job, you must seriously consider purchasing a new domestic car or truck and thereby doing your part to bail out a vital cog in Patria’s economy and helping bring an end to the Great Recession.

We pledge that the stimulus package and the other measures taken in 2008-09 will not have been in vain.

In the face of this brutal recession, this much we pledge – and more.

With security and prosperity only distant memories or faint hopes, this much we pledge – and more.

More, because we must pledge to take back Patria’s economy in the face of a continued GED (global economic downturn) that could be with us well into the next Congress and the next decade. For those who are fortunate enough to still have jobs and some savings, notwithstanding the very real fear of being laid off in the near future and the years of hard-earned RSP or 401(k) savings wiped out almost overnight, you owe it to your country and to the world’s economy to spend, spend, and spend some more, preferably at local family-owned retailers and on made-in-Patria goods and services. We may not be able to spend ourselves out of the recession. But if consumers do not spend, the recession will not end soon and will only continue to worsen. Therefore, you – the 92 or 93 percent who are gainfully employed – are urged to stimulate the economy by going out this weekend and purchasing a new car, an iPhone, a plasma TV, a laptop computer, a new washer and dryer, or any other big-ticket item. If you can afford it, consider making a down payment on a new house or condo. Just as growing a victory garden and saving ration coupons were your patriotic duties to help defeat the true Axis of evil some 65 years ago, today you must consider consumer spending to be your patriotic duty to help defeat the downturn.

In the remaining year of this administration, and as we elect a new Congress on April 17, 2010, we must pledge our best efforts to reduce our dependence on foreign imports and place Patria as far as possible on the road to complete domestic production of all consumer goods and manufactured products. Had there not been globalization and free trade, the damage caused by the toxic assets of a few US banks and the epidemic of subprime mortgages would have ended at the Rio Grande, the 49th parallel and the Peace Bridge. Had there not been globalization and free trade, the United States would not have dragged the rest of the world down with its failing economy, unsustainable military-industrial complex, overabundance of greed-mongers, and unscrupulous bankers pandering to low-income earners who had no business buying homes. Had there not been globalization and free trade, high-quality manufactured goods could still be produced in first-world democracies by workers paid first-world wages. Had there not been globalization and free trade, the suits in the boardrooms of America would not put the financial gain of their shareholders ahead of the welfare of their own fellow citizens. Had there not been globalization and free trade, well-paying unionized jobs with dental plans, company pensions and other benefits would not be exported to Mexico and Red China and replaced by minimum-wage dead-end jobs offering no benefits. Therefore, a mighty fortress of protectionism must be built, with ramparts of tariffs and a moat of swadeshi self-sufficiency in the Gandhian tradition. In the face of the global financial crisis, this Congress must be called to act in the Fourth Session in order to stimulate the economy, take back the lost jobs, and protect Patria’s job-creating industries by ending outsourcing, offshoring, globalization and free trade. From lowly pencils and paper clips to high-tech computers and electronic gadgetry, let us replace “made in China” with a vast new range of “made in Patria” goods and services. IMPORT NOTHING and SAY NO TO MADE IN CHINA should become the battle cries of all the parties who will contest the seats in the 49th Congress and the legislative assemblies of the 13 Precincts.

Let us close this session with this simple prayer: lokah samastah sukhino bhavantu. May all beings in the world be happy!

Pení potentíx ín mirím investíx Constituxioníx Patriaë, ímí diclarí Tertilí Sexión 48-íe Congressus Patriaë imán fermití, et ímí appelí; íllí Congressus primadíním 21-lí septimbríe 2009 híc reconvæt, períful inceptán Quätrílí Sexión 48-íe Congressus Patriaë.

Under the power vested in me by the Constitution of Patria, I declare closed the Third Session of the 48th Congress, and call this Congress to re-assemble here on Monday, the 21st of September 2009, to open the Fourth Session of the 48th Congress.

[The House adjourned at 7:25 PM]


So let us make a pledge to meet in Spetember, and seal it with a kiss...ERRRRR!!!!...with a hug from Amrita Party House Leader Ammachi (the Honorable Member from the Precinct of Arboria)...or with the Speaker of the House's gavel hitting the dais, signaling the end to another session of the Congress of Patria.

As Congress adjourns, here come the protectionists!

As the Third Session of the 48th Congress moves toward adjournment for the [northern hemisphere] summer on or about June 26, the Amrita Party, Chakra Party, and National Union agree on one thing: buy-Patrienish protectionism as a simplistic knee-jerk reaction to the GFC (Global Financial Crisis) or GED (Global Economic Downturn), aka the current recession.

Bring the jobs home. Stop offshoring. Buy the products your neighbors help to build. Say no to made-in-China. It's easy. It's convenient. It gets trotted out every time the economy goes south.

The free-trade and globalism-bashing is going to get nasty! For the Hindu parties it's going to be wrapped up in Gandhian swadeshi rhetoric, while the NU will try to put a law-and-order spin on buy-Patrienish.

Diplomatic doings

As one of the oldest micronations (established in 1818), the Inner Realm of Patria seeks friendly relations with all micronations, whether absolute monarchies, liberal democracies, or even socialist states. Although the Ministry of External Affairs of Patria has negotiated and ratified formal treaties of diplomatic relations with a few micronations, such as the Holy Empire of Réunion, most of Patria's diplomatic contacts are established on an informal or de facto basis, requiring only a simple majority vote in Congress. Earlier this week, Patria has extended this de facto recognition to a newly established micronation, the People's Democratic Republic of Duiarmia.

Patria is a member of the League of Secessionist States (LOSS), [note that this website has not been updated since 2004, but the organization is still active] an inter-micronational organization that is intended to act as a "United Nations of the micro-world". Patria accords automatic de facto recognition to all LOSS member states.

Although Canada's Ministry of Foreign Affairs and International Trade has never recognized Patria's independence, Patria has had a special relationship with Canada since 1867 and maintains an honorary Canadian consulate in Toronto. The Consular offices are located in a quiet neighborhood in mid-town Toronto, near the intersection of Christie and Dupont Streets.

Hot-button issues in Patria

The following are a some of the hot-button issues in Patria as the election campaign begins:

• The Great Recession. Like virtually every country in the world, since the summer of 2008 Patria has been hit hard by arguably the worst economic crisis since the Great Depression. The Amrita Party's failure to deal with the imploding economy and millions of lost jobs was responsible in large measure for the re-establishment of the SRM.
• The trillion-rupee bailout of Patria's auto industry. Should Patrienish Motor Works go the way of GM or Chrysler?
• A rising tide of buy-Patrienish protectionism. The legacy of lost jobs, outsourcing and offshoring are reason enough for the continuing fight against free trade and globalism.
  
• The pure teachings of Hinduism vs. a more broad-based New Age spirituality (i.e. the Path of Transcendence, favoured by the Amrita and the SRM, vs. the Chakra Party's Path of Transformation).
• The revival of the old Patrienish language, particularly a version of "classic" Patrienish, containing many Sanskrit loan-words, rather than a more colloquial version of Patrienish that leans more toward Latin or Romance-based derivations, as well as English borrowings.
• The proliferation of the black market to elude the official exchange rate of 37.5 Patrienish Rupees to one U.S. dollar.
• Government funding to support Hatha Yoga as the national sport versus the popularity of baseball and hockey as spectator/pop culture sports.
• The trend toward low-scoring, boring, clutch & grab, neutral-zone trap play in the Patrienish Hockey League, which has yet to adopt some of the NHL's measures such as shoot-outs to decide tied games.
• Return to "back to basics" education: adoption of the "gurukulam" curriculum in elementary schools, including compulsory instruction in yoga, Sanskrit language, Vedanta philosophy, meditation, etc., and requiring all school cafeterias to serve vegetarian lunches.
• The continued popularity of the rightist, macho National Union. National Unionists are debating whether to move closer to U.S. Republicans although Rush Limbaugh would likely scoff at the NU's made-in-Patria brand of populist conservatism combined with "manly values".
  
• "Law and Order" issues, particularly incarceration in boot camps for teenage punks, revival of corporal punishment in schools, and the Federal District of Castoropolis' adoption of the Giuliani-era New York City method of crime deterrence: get tough on jaywalkers, graffiti artists, etc. in the hope of deterring serial rapists, axe-murderers, etc. The broken-window theory of crime fighting has been propounded by the National Union-dominated government of the Federal District for well over a decade with no appreciable reduction in either violent crimes or petty scofflaws.
  
• The need for a year-round session of the Congressus Patriaë, rather than the traditional September-to-June annual session with a 2½-month recess during the northern hemisphere summer. This is very unlikely to happen.
  

Congratulations to the Arboria Beavers - 2008-09 Kamala Cup champions!

The Arboria Beavers won Patria's equivalent of the Stanley Cup by defeating the defending Kamala Cup champion Caesarea Violets in a thrilling series that went the full seven games. The Castoropolis Centurions continue their claim of being the Toronto Maple Leafs of the Patrienish Hockey League, having missed the playoffs for the fourth consecutive seasion!

But the election is 11 months away!

Yes, April 17, 2010 is a long way off. If this were a U.S. election cycle, we would still be a couple weeks away from the Iowa Caucuses and New Hampshire primary.

Patria's many parties have yet to roll out their election campaign platforms and slogans. But you can be sure that the Great Recession will be front and center as a hot button issue, as will a deadly swine flu pandemic or fear-mongering of one. And even now, there is plenty of guessing as to how the Amrita party will fare against a revived SRM. Will the "no gurus, just right" Chakra Party again play the "transformation not transcendence" card? Will the "top dog for real men" National Union trot out the same old law-and-order promises to get out the testosterone vote? (jail for jaywalking? corporal punishment for kids? dress codes and curfews for teenagers? public executions? NU's been there, done that!). Will the Green Party be exposed as a bunch of economic conservatives disguised as Birkenstock-wearing bike-riding tree-hugging liberals? Is there still any room at the table for "progressive" or leftist parties such as the Social Democrats? Will the Jungle Party fans of the Jim Rome show continue to have a take and not suck in the new Congress? Will the nutbar one-issue fringe parties pick up more than their usual handful of seats in the new Congress and how many new fringe parties will throw their hats into the ring for 2010?

Stay tuned. Campaign 2010 will unfold in the months to come. We can promise that it won't last as long as a U.S. presidential election marathon. But the campaign will really get started next fall, shortly after the Fourth Session of the 48th Congress convenes.

In the meantime, here is some basic background information about the Inner Realm of Patria.

Common Name: Patria

Three-Letter Identification (for ISO-9336m): PAT

Official Name, English: Inner Realm of Patria

Official Name, local: Antarbhumi Ramrajya (Sanskrit); Antíraterraí Patria (Patrienish)

Suggested Names in other languages: le Royaume intérieur de la Patrie (French), das Innenreich Patria (German)

Etymology: [origin of the name] Patria is Latin for fatherland or native land. In Sanskrit, Ramrajya means literally the kingdom of Lord Rama.

Capital: Castoropolis (Sanskrit: Kashipura)

Nationality: Patrienish, Patrien

Official Languages: English, Sanskrit, Patrienish

National Holidays: Flag Day - Jan. 25; Independence/Inauguration Day - June 30; Dharma Day - July 17. Diwali, Shiva Ratri and other Hindu holidays are observed according to the Hindu lunar calendar (the Gregorian calendar date will vary from year to year).

Official Calendar Adopted: Gregorian, Hindu.

Concise History: The Republic of Castoria seceded from an un-named country or attained independence from an un-named colonial power on June 30, 1818. Castoria evolved into Patria and the name "Castoria" fell out of use by the late 70's. Patria remained a liberal, secular republic until 1989-90, when the "Dharmic Revolution" inculcated eastern spirituality, yoga and Hinduism, and transformed Patria into a de facto Hindu theocracy although the constitution guarantees complete religious freedom and the rights of non-Hindus.

Flag: A simple tricolor. See previous post

National anthem: "Rock of Ages" ("Ma'oz Tsur")

Motto: "AQUILA CUM COLUMBA VOLAT" (The eagle flies with the dove)

Population: As a "virtual nation" existing only on paper or online, the population is imagined to be approximately that of Canada (i.e. about 30 million), regardless of the actual number of real-life people who are currently actively involved in Patria.

Immigration Average: N/A, although as in Canada, US, UK and Australia, immigration is a hot-button issue in Patria.

Emigration Average: N/A

Ethnic Composition: Racial or ethnic statistics not kept. Patria welcomes multicultural diversity and promotes the Hindu teaching of "Vasudhaiva Kutumbakam" (The whole world is one family).

Religions and Cults: Hinduism (de facto state religion), Tibetan Buddhism and Eastern-based New Age spirituality. Predominantly Western converts/apostates from Judaism or Christianity.

Sports: ice hockey, football (soccer), and baseball are played professionally, many other sports played at amateur or recreational level. Hatha Yoga is officially recognized as Patria's national sport.

Main Sport Associations: Patrienish Hockey League ; All-Patria Football Federation; two baseball leagues, the Castorian League and Lazurian League, whose pennant winners meet in the Patria Series.

Main Cultural Organizations: The Ramrajya Hindu Parishad (Patrienish Hindu Council) serves as the umbrella organization for many Hindu cultural and religious organizations.

Main Newspapers: The Akashic Record, Novítæ Dínaë, and Ramrajya Dharmika Patrika are the leading newspapers in English, Patrienish and Sanskrit respectively.

Main Universities/Colleges: University of Castoropolis, Hindu University of Patria, Patrienish National Institute of Technology, National Military College of Patria.

Illiterates: very close to zero.

Unemployed: statistics not kept, but likely to have increased significantly since the beginning of the Great Recession in latter half of 2008.

Court System: Supreme Court, District or Precinct Courts in each precinct
Judges: Supreme Court consists of nine Justices, selected and ratified by Congress. Judges of Precinct or District Courts chosen by the legislative assemblies of each precinct.

Obligatory Military Service: NO
Death Penalty: NO
Freedom of speech: YES
Homosexual Rights: YES
Abortion Prohibition: NO
Drugs Prohibition: NO - Patria recognizes that the US-style "War on Drugs" has been a failure, just as the "War on Booze" (aka Prohibition) was a failure in the 1920s. Drug abuse is a social problem, not a criminal justice issue and is treated as such in Patria.
Taxations: YES
Direct Elections: YES

ECONOMICS
Economic System: Partially socialist, i.e. some government intervention, and state ownership of key industries and services.

Currency: Patrienish Rupee (RsPat.)

Subdivision of Currency: 100 pæsæ

Currency Value in US$: 37.5 Rupees to one U.S. dollar; 1 RsPat. = US$0.0266 (official exchange rate, though better rates are available on the black market)

Measurement System: Metric

Banks: Reserve Bank of Patria. The Canadian Imperial Bank of Commerce, Bank of Montreal and other major Canadian banks have branch offices in Patria.

Major Corporations: State-owned: Ramrajyavani (national radio and TV network), PatriAir (national airline), Rælvíæ Patriaë (Patrienish Railways).
Private: PetroPatria (petroleum), Patrienish Motor Works (auto maker)

GEOGRAPHY
Area: N/A, but is at least as large as a typical midwestern U.S. state

Location: N/A, though several locations have been suggested over the years: Central Asia, an island in the Indian Ocean south of Madagascar, and even Madagascar itself.

Canon Country: N/A, but has a special relationship with Canada.

Continent: N/A

Limits: N/A

Administrative Division: Thirteen Precincts, and the Federal District of Castoropolis (FDC). The 13 Precincts and their postal abbreviations are: Aeolia (AE), Ambrosia (AM), Antioch (AN), Arboria (AR), Canardière (CN), Cæsarea (CE), Centralia (CT), Fredonia (FR), Haldimania (HL), Lazuria (LZ), Mauretania (MT), Nova Columbia (NC), Pottsylvania (PT)

Major Cities: Castoropolis, FDC; Port Madhu, LZ; Kayavarohan, NC; Kedarnath, AM; Mahakala, CT. In addition, there are many cities in CE that are part of the greater Castoropolis urban sprawl.

Main Ports: Port Madhu, Castoropolis (inland port)

Main Airports: John Franklin Marshall International Airport, Castoropolis (international airport code: CPP)

Climate: Average winter temperature 4ºC, average summer temperature 23ºC.

Relief: ranges from below sea level to mountainous.

Vegetation: Mixed coniferous/deciduous forest, grassland, prairies.

Major Rivers: Naya Ganga (New Ganges), Jamuna, Saraswati

Local Time in comparison to GMT: N/A but for practical purposes GMT-5 (GMT-4 in summer) i.e. Eastern Standard Time

DEFENSE
Armed Forces: Army, Navy, Air Force

Commanders: Drawn from the Kshatriya (warrior) Hindu caste. Lord Krishna serves as the ceremonial Commander-in-Chief of Patria's armed forces.

Intelligence Office: Patrienish Intelligence and Security Service (PISS). The acronym says it all about the respect accorded to the FBI, CIA and spy agencies in general :)

POLITICS
Political Regime: Parliamentary Monarchy with some elements of a Hindu theocracy.

Legislature: The Congressus Patriaë consists of two houses, the General Congress (Samanya Sabha) and the House of Deputies (Pratinidhi Sabha). The General Congress consists of 333 members elected by proportional representation to a four-year term. The Pratinidhi Sabha, although nominally the upper chamber of Congress, has limited powers to review or veto legislation. It consists of 57 members appointed by the legislatures of the 13 Precincts and the Federal District of Castoropolis to serve an indefinite term.

Head of State: Saraswati Devi, Goddess of language, music and learning is the Queen, presiding deity of Patria, and the ceremonial Head of State of Patria. By proclamation of a Special Session of the 44th Congressus Patriaë, July 17, 1992. Her representative avatar (bodily incarnation) in Patria is Karunamayi Devi, who presides over Congress in a mostly ceremonial role as Speaker of the House.

Head of Government: Mata Amritanandamayi Devi (a.k.a. "Ammachi" or "the Hugging Saint"), de facto Head of Government as House leader of the Amrita Party, representing the Precinct of Arboria. Born Sept. 27, 1953. Inaugurated June 30, 2006 for 4-year term ending June 30, 2010.
Chosen by: Elections/Party appointment

Current Constitution Since: 1818. Last amended in May 1998.

Patria votes - April 17, 2010

Campaign 2010 - the race for the 49th Congress


STAND UP FOR THE FLAG OF PATRIA!
THESE COLORS DON'T RUN!

Welcome to the Inner Realm of Patria's blog site for Campaign 2010 - the election of Patria's 49th Congress. This site will serve as a forum for all the parties contesting seats in the 49th Congress of Patria (known in Patrienish as Congressus Patriaë or by the cipher XLIX Con. Pat.) Election day is the third Saturday in April. Inauguration day is June 30, 2010. Patria's Inaguruation ceremony, every fourth year on June 30, is loosely based on the US Presidential inaugural, with a lot of Hindu ritual thrown in.

For those new to Patria, the following is some background information:

All executive and legislative powers are vested in the Congressus Patriaë, a 333-seat legislature elected to a four-year term. On April 15, 2006 elections were held for the 48th Congressus Patriaë (XLVIII Con. Pat.), inaugurated on June 30, 2006 for a term ending June 30, 2010. The party holding a plurality of seats is a the Amrita Party, a party devoted to the worship and teachings of the "hugging saint" Mata Amritanandamayi (Amma). During the 47th Congress the Amrita Party merged with the former Spiritual Regeneration Movement (SRM)*, a Hindu nationalist/revivalist party similar to India's Bharatiya Janata Party. Other parties include the Chakra Party, a New Age party, which is a sometimes uneasy ally of the SRM and Amrita but more often than not its chief rival, using the slogans "Transformation, not Transcendence!" and "no Gurus, just right!", National Union a rightist, law-and-order party that once billed itself as "The Man's Party! Forged in the fire! Tungsten Tough! Testosterone in your balls=NU on your ballot!", Lilith Party "The Grrrrrls party!", Libertarian Party "Less government, more freedom!", Social Democrats and Progressive Labour (leftist/pinko-sympathizing), Green Party (the usual motley crew of left-wing tree-huggers), Rationalist Party (promotes atheism and the philosophy of Objectivism, based on the writings of Ayn Rand), Party for Personal Responsibility (a one-trick pony: pay down the deficit, cut social spending, plus a dose of personal responsibility), Jungle Party (a smack-talking personality cult for fans of Jim Rome), Family Values Party ("Healthy, happy, heterosexual!") and about 20 others. Unlike Canada, Australia, the U.S. and U.K., but like most of the democratic world, election is by proportional representation, so virtually any fringe party is guaranteed one or two seats in Congress.

* In one of the worst-kept secrets, the SRM will at some time before the Third Session of the 48th Congress recesses for the summer announce its separation from the Amrita Party and re-constitute itself as an official party for the election of 2010.

With the impending demise of Geocities, the web site of Patria is seeking a new host, preferably on a free site such as Tripod. Unless Yahoo reconsiders its decision to axe Geocities, this page may also serve as a temporary home page in the months to come.