Patria Post's 2013 Christmas stamp

Patria Post's traditional Christmas stamp was issued earlier this month. As with most Patrienish stamps, it is a "forever" stamp with no rupee denomination; the "1" simply represents the standard first-class rate. The cost of mailing a letter in Patria is expected to jump by a couple of rupees in early 2014. But the legislation authorizing the postal rate hikes is being filibustered in Congress and may not take effect before the pre-election recess in March.

Jail for johns campaign ramps up again

THEY BOUGHT SEX FROM PROSTITUTES!

While the Supreme Court of Canada struck down that country's anti-prostitution laws (prohibiting brothels, living off the avails of prostitution, etc.) in Patria the war against hookers is waged on another front: their customers or "johns". For many years, Patria has been publicly ridiculing these perverted losers who buy sex from prostitutes, shaming them on The John Show, one of the more popular programs on Doordarshan Ramrajya. Periodically a "Jail for Johns" campaign is launched, in which unsuspecting johns are arrested - often by policewomen disguised as prostitutes - summarily tried, convicted and sentenced to years of hard time. Five years in prison is not unusual as a minimum sentence, and even a life sentence for a third-time offender has been handed out under the "three strikes you're out" provision so beloved in much of Red-State America. In late 2013, bowing to re-election pressure from the National Union caucus (particularly in hard-core NU areas such as the suburbs of Castoropolis), yet another such campaign has been launched.

Ostensibly the "Jail for Johns" campaign attempts to put prostitutes out of business by taking their customers off the streets. But it also helps fill Patria's prisons and create jobs for guards, wardens and other correctional workers. Yes, there is a "Prison Industrial Complex" in Patria. But because so many Patrienish citizens have done so much yoga and absorbed so many teachings of non-violence, there are not enough murderers, rapists and other violent criminals behind bars to prevent prisons from being closed and guards getting pink-slipped. There is even a shortage of banksters and white-collar crooks. Someone has to make those Patrienish license plates.

As in Canada, prostitution is not illegal per se in Patria. But virtually everything relating to prostitution is. Patronizing prostitutes is not just a petty crime, but a felony that will send a lot of luckless men to the Big House when the National Union gets its law-and-order hands on the police blotters. BUY SEX, GO TO JAIL is now a popular slogan along with the usual election campaign hot air. #jailforjohns is another hashtag seen @Patriavotes2014.

50th Congress slogan-o-rama

As Patria's 2014 election campaign enters the home stretch ("home stretch" being defined as when the calendar actually flips to 2014), the following are some of the party slogans you will be hearing on broadcast media, reading in newspapers and print media, or seeing on billboards and transit vehicles:

Amrita Party: Embracing Patria, Four more years of Mother's love, Love and serve.

Chakra Party: No gurus just right, Transformation not transcendence, Real change begins within.

SRM: Take back the economy, Patria first Patria best, Bring the jobs home, No more made-in-China

National Union: Where a man belongs, Separating the real men from the pussycats, National Union tough

Social Democrats: Patria's progressive voice, Moving forward on social justice

Green Party: Earth first, Go Green

Libertarian Party: Less government more freedom

Jungle Party: Have a take & don't suck, Straight fire!

Lilith Party: Where womyn belong, Strong womyn strong voices

Chastity Party: Stamp out premarital sex, Just say "no" until you say "I do"

Family Values Party: The 3 H's (healthy, happy, heterosexual), Back to the 1950s.

Incel Party: Giving virgins a voice

Note that some of the above slogans are virtually unchanged from the 2010 campaign. At least none of the major parties (there are, of course, a number of other fringe, nutbar and single-issue parties that are not expected to elect more than one member to the 50th Congress) are trotting out something really vapid and insipid such as "the land is strong", used by the Liberal Party of Canada in 1972.

Help Parvati Make Two Stellar Music Videos

Parvati Devi is a chart-topping, internationally touring Canadian musician, yogi and new-thought leader (and an honorary citizen of Patria) who is often compared to “Madonna meets Eckhart Tolle”. Her music is now #2 in the local electronic charts, #30 in Canada and charting within the top hundreds of electronic dance music artists globally - all without ever signing a major record deal.

To release a song to radio or on-line today, you need a music video. This campaign is raising funds to create two world-class music videos, one for each of Parvati’s songs that we know can be hits: “Shanti Om” and “Yoga In the Nightclub”. The music industry has confirmed that they can be hits. These songs deserve star treatment so that they can fully succeed in the visually driven YouTube era. The intention in making these videos is to spread love and hope, create positive waves and offer upliftment globally. We are committed to bringing these songs forward because they deserve to be enjoyed by millions. We will do what it takes to get them there.

Our goal is to raise $6164 so that we can shoot outdoors next month in south Florida, where it is much warmer than in Canada (or in Patria for that matter). If you are interested, you can donate here - or just listen to clips of Parvati's two songs.

SRM plays usual "Patria First" card

The SRM (Spiritual Regeneration Movement or Swadeshi Ramrajya Movement, call it what you wish) appears to be running virtually the same campaign on the same platform as in 2010 - hard-core Patria-first economic nationalism mixed with old-school Hinduism, as seen on the billboard below:

Buckle up, Patria. It's a rocky, pothole-filled road on the 50th Congress campaign trail.

Patria remembers Nelson Mandela

"No one is born hating another person because of the colour of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite"

- Nelson Mandela, 1918-2013

Patria joins much of the macronational world in expressing its deepest condolences on the passing of Nelson "Madiba" Mandela at age 95. Patria honors Mandela as a great soul and freedom fighter who left his anger and bitterness at the prison door upon his release and whose achievements transcend his native South Africa. Of course, Patria's right wing and Diet Coke Party (Patria's Tea Party) contingent were quick to condemn Mandela as a terrorist and unrepentant communist, who - unlike Mahatma Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr. - was not sent to prison for non-violent acts of civil disobedience.

Patria Post will issue a Nelson Mandela commemorative stamp in early 2014. Mandela will become only the third macronational leader to be portrayed on a Patrienish stamp, after Pierre E. Trudeau and Ronald Reagan.