Friday, June 26, 2009

Congress gotta say goodbye for the summer...

The Third Session, 48th Congress (3·XLVIII 2008-09) adjourned for the northern hemisphere summer recess today. No, the members of Congress will not send you all their love every day in a letter sealed with a kiss. But they closed out the session with the traditional annual message to Congress - as close as it gets in Patria to a State of the Union speech - containing the strongest calls for protectionism, buy-Patrienish and spend-yourself-out-of-recession ever heard since the start of the GED (global economic downturn).

XLVIII Con. Pat.

Annual Message to Congress (at close of Third Session)

June 26, 2009


Om Amriteswaryai Namah. Jai Karunamayi. Om Sri Maha-Rajñyai Namaha. Salutations to Devi who is the Empress of the Universe. With the Divine Mother’s blessings, the 48th Congressus Patriaë has reached the three-quarter point in its term of office.

As this session is about to adjourn, let us pause for a moment to note the passing yesterday of Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson, two icons of 40th, 41st and 42nd Congress pop culture.

Although it is traditional to deliver an annual message at the closing of each session of Congress, this message will not enumerate the highlights of the Third Session from the election of Barack Obama to the rise of Twitter as the next big thing. Rather, this message will focus on the one single over-riding all-consuming issue that this Congress, indeed the legislatures of the entire democratic world, was faced with since last September: the imploding, crashing economy and the legacy of shuttered factories, out-of-business retail stores, millions of lost jobs, devastated retirement savings, foreclosed homes, bankrupt businesses, and all the other untold pain and suffering brought on by the current recession, indeed the darkest economic times since the 1930s.

Although it may pale in comparison to Barack Obama’s trillion-dollar stimulus package passed by the US Congress, this session has nonetheless enacted a stimulus package designed to breathe life into this shuddering corpse of an economy.

Much like the WPA projects three-quarters of a century ago that left America with a legacy of Art Deco public buildings, Patria’s stimulus package includes almost half a trillion rupees earmarked for infrastructure initiatives. Although infrastructure projects have been criticized as being outdated FDR-era make-work schemes that do not create many long-term permanent jobs once the bridges are built, the roads are repaved and the high-speed railway track is laid, desperate times call for “give a man a fish and feed him for a day” employment initiatives that in the short run will pay the bills and give people fish as well as put other foods on the table for a day or for as many days as needed until the economy improves.

In this session we have offered Patrienish Motor Works loans and bailout funds amounting to almost 3 billion rupees. What GM, Ford and Chrysler are to America, PMW is to Patria. For almost a century, your neighbors have helped build cars and trucks right here in Patria. Our proud auto-making legacy must not go the way of GM – headed toward bankruptcy court – or Chrysler – bought out by Fiat, which, as we all know stands for “Fix It Again, Tony”. Patria’s automotive industry must not be allowed to fail. But the ultimate survival of PMW is up to you. If you are still working and not in danger of losing your job, you must seriously consider purchasing a new domestic car or truck and thereby doing your part to bail out a vital cog in Patria’s economy and helping bring an end to the Great Recession.

We pledge that the stimulus package and the other measures taken in 2008-09 will not have been in vain.

In the face of this brutal recession, this much we pledge – and more.

With security and prosperity only distant memories or faint hopes, this much we pledge – and more.

More, because we must pledge to take back Patria’s economy in the face of a continued GED (global economic downturn) that could be with us well into the next Congress and the next decade. For those who are fortunate enough to still have jobs and some savings, notwithstanding the very real fear of being laid off in the near future and the years of hard-earned RSP or 401(k) savings wiped out almost overnight, you owe it to your country and to the world’s economy to spend, spend, and spend some more, preferably at local family-owned retailers and on made-in-Patria goods and services. We may not be able to spend ourselves out of the recession. But if consumers do not spend, the recession will not end soon and will only continue to worsen. Therefore, you – the 92 or 93 percent who are gainfully employed – are urged to stimulate the economy by going out this weekend and purchasing a new car, an iPhone, a plasma TV, a laptop computer, a new washer and dryer, or any other big-ticket item. If you can afford it, consider making a down payment on a new house or condo. Just as growing a victory garden and saving ration coupons were your patriotic duties to help defeat the true Axis of evil some 65 years ago, today you must consider consumer spending to be your patriotic duty to help defeat the downturn.

In the remaining year of this administration, and as we elect a new Congress on April 17, 2010, we must pledge our best efforts to reduce our dependence on foreign imports and place Patria as far as possible on the road to complete domestic production of all consumer goods and manufactured products. Had there not been globalization and free trade, the damage caused by the toxic assets of a few US banks and the epidemic of subprime mortgages would have ended at the Rio Grande, the 49th parallel and the Peace Bridge. Had there not been globalization and free trade, the United States would not have dragged the rest of the world down with its failing economy, unsustainable military-industrial complex, overabundance of greed-mongers, and unscrupulous bankers pandering to low-income earners who had no business buying homes. Had there not been globalization and free trade, high-quality manufactured goods could still be produced in first-world democracies by workers paid first-world wages. Had there not been globalization and free trade, the suits in the boardrooms of America would not put the financial gain of their shareholders ahead of the welfare of their own fellow citizens. Had there not been globalization and free trade, well-paying unionized jobs with dental plans, company pensions and other benefits would not be exported to Mexico and Red China and replaced by minimum-wage dead-end jobs offering no benefits. Therefore, a mighty fortress of protectionism must be built, with ramparts of tariffs and a moat of swadeshi self-sufficiency in the Gandhian tradition. In the face of the global financial crisis, this Congress must be called to act in the Fourth Session in order to stimulate the economy, take back the lost jobs, and protect Patria’s job-creating industries by ending outsourcing, offshoring, globalization and free trade. From lowly pencils and paper clips to high-tech computers and electronic gadgetry, let us replace “made in China” with a vast new range of “made in Patria” goods and services. IMPORT NOTHING and SAY NO TO MADE IN CHINA should become the battle cries of all the parties who will contest the seats in the 49th Congress and the legislative assemblies of the 13 Precincts.

Let us close this session with this simple prayer: lokah samastah sukhino bhavantu. May all beings in the world be happy!

Pení potentíx ín mirím investíx Constituxioníx Patriaë, ímí diclarí Tertilí Sexión 48-íe Congressus Patriaë imán fermití, et ímí appelí; íllí Congressus primadíním 21-lí septimbríe 2009 híc reconvæt, períful inceptán Quätrílí Sexión 48-íe Congressus Patriaë.

Under the power vested in me by the Constitution of Patria, I declare closed the Third Session of the 48th Congress, and call this Congress to re-assemble here on Monday, the 21st of September 2009, to open the Fourth Session of the 48th Congress.

[The House adjourned at 7:25 PM]


So let us make a pledge to meet in Spetember, and seal it with a kiss...ERRRRR!!!!...with a hug from Amrita Party House Leader Ammachi (the Honorable Member from the Precinct of Arboria)...or with the Speaker of the House's gavel hitting the dais, signaling the end to another session of the Congress of Patria.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

As Congress adjourns, here come the protectionists!

As the Third Session of the 48th Congress moves toward adjournment for the [northern hemisphere] summer on or about June 26, the Amrita Party, Chakra Party, and National Union agree on one thing: buy-Patrienish protectionism as a simplistic knee-jerk reaction to the GFC (Global Financial Crisis) or GED (Global Economic Downturn), aka the current recession.

Bring the jobs home. Stop offshoring. Buy the products your neighbors help to build. Say no to made-in-China. It's easy. It's convenient. It gets trotted out every time the economy goes south.

The free-trade and globalism-bashing is going to get nasty! For the Hindu parties it's going to be wrapped up in Gandhian swadeshi rhetoric, while the NU will try to put a law-and-order spin on buy-Patrienish.