Inaugural Address archive, 1998-2014

Inauguration Day for the 51st Congress-elect is five weeks away, but one of the tasks during the lame duck transition period is to compose a kick-ass Inaugural Address/Speech from the Throne that will be delivered on June 30, 2018. Coinciding with Patria's bicentennial celebration, the upcoming inaugural promises to be the best ever. It may even attract bigger crowds than Donald Trump's inauguration! If it doesn't, at least the weather will be better in Castoropolis on June 30th than in Washington, DC on January 20th.

In the meantime, you can read the transcripts of previous Inaugural Addresses:

2014 - 50th Congress

2010 - 49th Congress

2006 - 48th Congress

2002 - 47th Congress

1998 - 46th Congress

And one more #Patria200 stamp from Patria Post.

Smack-Off XXIV airs July 20

Jungle Party House Leader Jim Rome announced that Smack-Off XXIV will take place on Friday, July 20. The Smack-Off is the Jungle Party's method of choosing its caucus for the 51st Congress-elect. Because it will air (on flagship station PMBC-1152 in Castoropolis and other affiliates throughout Patria) almost three weeks after Inauguration Day, the Jungle Party caucus will not be seated in Congress until well after the Inauguration. In any case, the Jungle Party made a rather poor showing in the 51st Congress election on April 21, winning only 11 seats. They held 28 seats in the 50th Congress, so that's  a whopping 17 seats lost since 2014, many of them taken by the Social Democrats.

 Jim Rome looking natty in his three-piece pinstripe suit, despite the Jungle Party losing more than half its seats from 2014.

Jim Rome says of the Smack-Off:

Because this is thing is about to turn 24 and still breaking ground. 24 in but the first time we’ve put it on TV! Can’t lie when this thing dropped nearly a quarter century ago, it never dawned on me that one day we’d be doing it on TV, but we here are. Here we freaking are.

And a little background if you don’t know what it is. Listen, I’m pretty self-aware: I know what I’m good at and I know where I’m not as effective. Same with you: I know what you all are good at. And calling this show is not one of those things. Many of you, most of you want to be good, you’re just not. But there’s a small contingency of you killers who are. And I used to think, if I could just pick who I wanted to call this show every day, it would be so much better than it already is. But that just wasn’t realistic. I knew I couldn’t do it every single day, but I could do it once a year. And that’s how the Smackoff was born.

One day, of nothing but calls, where the best of the best, go at it and go at each other for the right to be King Of Smack: the right to be called the best caller on the show for a year; oh and you get $5 grand in cash for winning it.

The catch is, it’s invite only: you have to qualify; you have to actually be in to win it. How do you get in? With quality calls. Or even one incredible call if I’m feeling it and want to award you with the so-called the golden ticket. Past winners have lifetime exemptions.

And to be the champ, you’re going to have to beat the champ; in fact, the two time defending champ. The Laguna Beach Bully, Leff: who has pulled off some crazy bleep the last two years.

I have no idea what the hell Leff has in store for this year, but I do know he’s the one to beat. Write it down, July 20. You think you’re better than that guy, prove it. If you know you’re not and just want to listen or participate in social, get the day off. Now you know when it is, and now it’s official: Smackoff 24 is July 20. Be there! Because it’s going to be on TV for the first time.

 Note the USD 5000 prize to the winner. In cash. The top ten finishers in the Smack-Off will be automatically awarded seats in the 51st Congress. Since the Jungle Party managed to win only 11 seats, there's just enough room for the Smack-Off top ten and their House Leader (i.e. Jim Rome), unless Mr. Rome wants to add a member or two of his XR4TI crew (the producer, call screener and other support staff on the daily radio show, named for Rome's first car, the incredibly crappy Merkur XR4Ti) to the Jungle's 51st Congress caucus.