Bitter economic pills as Congress adjourns at midterm

The Second Session of Patria's 49th Congress adjourned today for its summer recess (winter recess for our friends in Australia, New Zealand, Argentina, etc.) with the traditional "State of the Union" annual message to Congress warning of some bitter economic medicine - aka European-style austerity - with no real promise of recovery. Note also an endorsement in the 2012 US presidential race.

The following is the text of the Annual Message to Congress:

Om premamritanandamayyai nityam namo namah. Adorations to the Mother who is full of divine love and immortal bliss.  With the Divine Mother’s blessings, the 49^th Congressus Patriaë has reached the midpoint of its term of office. 

 At the mid-term mark, we can say that Patria’s economy has improved marginally from this time a year ago when citizens of Patria were exhorted to take up smoking as a means of creating jobs and creating tax revenue. Certainly there has been some improvement since the annual message to Congress that was delivered on this day in 2009 or since the start of the GED [Global Economic Downturn] in late 2008. Nonetheless the economy has not improved enough so that the danger of sliding back into recession has abated. There is still a very real possibility of a double-dip recession in the upcoming quarter of this year, as has already happened in the United Kingdom, or even a full-blown Euro zone-style depression such as in Spain or Greece.

While voters in France and Greece have rejected austerity, in Patria the need to rein in government spending, cut the bloated bureaucracy, stop the gravy train dead in its tracks and reduce the burden of taxation is no greater than in the Euro zone, Rob Ford’s Toronto, or the Tea Party’s vision of America. Both the Positive Possibilities and Diet Coke Party coalitions know, as do most of the small independent parties, that in the remaining two years of this Congress’ term of office some bitter economic pills, such as cutting thousands of public-sector jobs and slashing the budgets of virtually every federal, precinct and local government department or ministry, must be swallowed in order to stave off a new great depression, the likes of which will make the 1930s seem like boom times. Austerity – or tapas, to use the Sanskrit term – is the price that must be paid in order to avoid a massive debt crisis that we, our children and our children’s children will be paying down for decades to come. Austerity is the short term pain for long-term gain so that Patria’s economy can truly grow, made-in-Patria will replace made-in-China, and an entire generation of college graduates will have a better future than unpaid internships, short-term contract jobettes, and minimum wage jobs as McDonalds burger flippers and Starbucks baristas, still living with mom and dad in their 30s, still paying off student loans in their 40s, and still unmarried and childless in their 50s, unable to bear the cost of settling down to raise a family thanks to decades of debt.

As the economy in Patria and in the macro-world failed to thrive in 2011 and 2012, this session of Congress witnessed the growth of the Occupy movement. Beginning on Wall Street, proliferating among the major cities of North America and Europe, it was not long before this rag-tag, unwashed, scruffy band of anarchists, leftists, stoners, unemployed and unemployable set up camp in Vivekananda Park, in full view of the Castoropolis Stock Exchange. Our message to the occupiers, should they return this summer, perhaps like in Quebec, using university students as pawns in their game: some of the “one percenters” you so despise got to be part of the one percent by marketing personal care products such as soap, shampoo and deodorant. Introduce yourself to these products, get a job, work hard, and become productive members of society. Even if your job pays only a minuscule fraction of what the average “one percenter” takes home, you will at least derive satisfaction from the simple acts of paying a mortgage, balancing a checkbook, filing an income tax return and other adult responsibilities.

 Only a few days ago, massive budget cuts and apathy to public broadcasting on the part of Canada’s ruling Conservative government forced the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation to end Radio Canada International’s shortwave broadcasts after almost 70 years on the air. Nothwithstanding the extent of austerity measures, this Congress is committed to providing adequate funding so that Ramrajyavani may continue to broadcast to the world via shortwave radio, which is not an electronic relic or a refuge for nerds and luddites, but a cost-effective, easily accessible, virtually censorship-resistant method of broadcasting that has done yeoman service for nine decades, can reach parts of the world where internet access is restricted, unavailable or unaffordable, and will still be functioning even in times of natural disasters, extended power outages and internet censorship.

Two years ago, the Inaugural Address proclaimed that “Patria must be made a safe place for social conservatives”. But Patria’s social conservative values do not particularly include those shibboleths so dear to Republicans in the US and right-wingers generally such as outlawing abortion – that tired old horse left the barn in 1973 – or banning gay marriages, or limiting grade school sex education classes to abstinence only. Patria’s social conservative values, however, do include modest dress for women. In Patria we believe women should dress with the dignity worthy of visiting a temple or tirtha [place of pilgrimage, e.g. Kayavarohan]. Though not by passing of legislation mandating formal dress codes such as in Iran, Patria will nonetheless continue to insist that women and girls avoid dressing like sluts and tempting men into violence and unwanted sexual advances, or at least luring men to believe that they are fair game. Patria will continue to advocate social conservative values in order to make this realm a safe place and a comfort zone for those men who chose to practice lifelong celibacy through monastic vows or those who have had celibacy thrust upon them by lacking in National Union-style traditional male macho or by being on the autistic spectrum and never being able to experience an intimate relationship. Patria commits itself to creating a safe community for such introverted, sensitive, socially lacking men in the remaining two years of this Congress.

During the second session, as Tim Tebow’s legend grew on and off the field, the former Denver Broncos and now New York Jets quarterback became a role model for Patria’s youth. Being so intensely grounded in his faith, proudly proclaiming his virginity, never uttering a four-letter word stronger than “gosh”, and maintaining a scrubbed, milk-fed, clean-cut appearance when out of his football uniform, Tim Tebow is a shining example of the social conservatism that Patria is seeking to instill. We can only hope that Tebow’s fundamentalist Christianity will not stand in the way of his being open to the unconditional love of the Amrita Party’s house leader and someday receiving Amma’s darshan.

Patria generally does not endorse candidates or parties in foreign or macro-national elections. But as America votes in November and US citizens in Patria take the necessary steps to register and obtain absentee ballots, Patria will, albeit rather unenthusiastically and with some reservations, endorse Barack Obama for a second term as President of the United States. Yes, the world’s most powerful economy has mostly failed to turn around. And for all the promises of “change” that have actually been delivered in the past four years, the Obama administration might as well be George W. Bush’s third term. The continued imprisonment of alleged terrorists without trial or charges and targeted assassinations of US citizens by drone missiles would even outdo Bush. Just as in 1980, a weak, dithering incumbent Democrat has bumbled away four years doing too little to repair a failing economy and deal with an ongoing crisis in the Persian Gulf. But to the Republicans in America and their supporters in Patria: this is not 1980, Barack Obama is not Jimmy Carter, and Ronald Reagan is not walking through that door. Neither is Rick Santorum or Ron Paul. To many US Republicans, and true paleo-conservatives in Patria, Mitt Romney is a mediocre, uninspiring RINO – Republican in name only – who has little to run on except extreme wealth and a father who managed to persuade people to drive Ramblers and Gremlins. Romney is a dishwater-dull, bland near-centrist claiming to be a bona fide conservative, following in the tradition of Bob Dole in 1996 or John McCain in 2008. One can only wonder “is this the best the GOP can do”? At least Dole and McCain were decorated war veterans. It is a rather dismal choice that Americans face, particularly for economic and social conservatives, but also for liberals and progressives who are still awaiting the promises of hope and change.

 Om Sri Gurubhyo Namah. Hari Om.

Vishwa me shanti rahe. Let peace prevail on earth. 

Under the power vested in me by the Constitution of Patria, I declare closed the Second Session of the 49^th Congress, and call this Congress to re-assemble here on Wednesday, the 19^th of September 2012, to open the Third Session of the 49^th Congress.

Patria's 2012-13 budget: austerity is the word

At some point during the week of June 25-29, the Speaker of the House will bang the gavel, blow the vuvuzela, and declare the Second Session of the 49th Congress adjourned until September. In the meantime, Congress is sitting in a marathon session, debating and voting on Patria's 2012-13 budget. (The annual budget is usually the last major item on the congressional order paper, as Patria's fiscal year begins and ends on June 30.) As in much of the Euro zone, the key word is of course AUSTERITY. Budgets will be cut, programs will be chopped, services will be privatized, and tens of thousands of public-sector jobs will be sacrificed in an effort to stave off Recession Part Deux as the 49th Congress reaches the midpoint of its term of office. The mid-term message above is brought to you by the Patria-first economic hard-liners of the SRM and other parties that are part of the Diet Coke Party coalition. You heard it during the 2010 election campaign, and will likely hear it again in 2014. BRING THE JOBS HOME! BOYCOTT MADE-IN-CHINA!

MMA fighter wins Smack-Off XVIII

The Smack-Off is an annual competition on The Jim Rome Show, (heard in Castoropolis on PMBC-1152, and on several other affiliates throughout Patria) in which select listeners are invited to provide their best "Smack Talk," with Jungle Party house leader Jim Rome and his show personnel determining the winner. The 18th annual contest was held on May 18th and it's a way to recognize the best callers to the show, as well as a means of determining the "Best Caller of the Year." The Smack-Off also helps to determine Jungle Party representation in the next Congress, as previous Smack-Off winners and veteran Smack-Off participants are placed on the Jungle Party's list and will be awarded seats in Congress after the 2014 election.


2012 Official Results

• 1st CHAEL SONNEN
• 2nd Mike In Indy
• 3rd Iafrate
• 4th Vic In No Cal
• 5th Doc Mike DiTolla
• 6th Mark in Hollywood
• 7th Brad in Corona
• 8th Dan in DC
• 9th Dave in St. Louis
• 10th Trapper in Dana Point

Other 2012 Participants

• Gino In San Antonio
• Mike In Wichita
• Joe In OC
• Jolene In Farmington (2012 Hack-Off Winner)
• Isreal In L.A.

Mixed martial artist Chael Sonnen claimed the title of King of Smack for 2012, winning a massive prize package - tickets to any regular-season sports event, a 46-inch flat-screen TV, and more - narrowly edging out Mike in Indy, who won a set of steak knives for second place. For the week prior to the show, Rome had been pimping an "un-named pro athlete" as one of the Smack-Off participants, who would be making his Smack-Off debut to boot. Unfortunately, it turned out to be a UFC fighter instead of an athlete playing a real sport, i.e. a Major League baseball player, NFLer, NHLer, NBAer, golfer, boxer, or even a pro soccer player. Mixed martial arts, aka Ultimate Fighting, is regarded with disgust in Patria, considered to be little more than two shirtless, barefoot slobs in a bar fight.

For everything you always wanted to know about the Smack-Off, including audio clips of virtually every Smack-Off call, visit Smackoff.net.

Parvati launches new Yoga in the Nightclub

Honorary citizen of Patria Parvati Devi (not "Pavarti" as Cashbox Canada's copy editor seems to think) is launching a new album entitled YIN: Yoga in the Nightclub.

The album contains re-worked versions of songs that appeared on Parvati's original Yoga in the Nightclub CD released in 2008, as well as some new compositions. Listen to samples of the new tracks.

Parvati says of her new album:

In this album and show, I weave together my love of yogic consciousness with my love for electronic dance-pop music. “YIN: Yoga In the Nightclub” is about yoga being everywhere. The art of Yoga reaches far beyond the impression most Westerners have as being a series of bendy physical exercises. Yoga is a systematic body of knowledge and a practice that teaches us integrated living, while being rooted in the fullness of who we are, living our highest good, following our deepest joy.

“YIN: Yoga In the Nightclub” reminds us that our potential to awaken to the divine is available to us in every moment, no matter where we may be. It celebrates our Earth, the sacred feminine, the Divine Mother and explores an ancient message in a modern world. It taps into our deeper, multidimensional knowing, which touches and stirs the quiet soul-wisdom that is already present in each of us, that is simply waiting to be switched on. 

“YIN: Yoga In the Nightclub” is a nod of gratitude to the yoga community for the support I have received over the years, and of recognition of my deep spiritual roots there. Taking my independent hit single "Yoga In the Nightclub" as a point of departure, the album brings together traditional Sanskrit chants, original pop songs, anthemic dance tracks and expansive, spacious soundscapes that allow listeners to rest in the lap of the Divine.

I feel like I am in a creative cave in my music studio as I create sounds to produce songs and soundscapes. For me, it is a fully engrossing and surrendered process, witnessing a force unfold and move through that is so much greater than the ego. In this way, the creative process feels mystical at it’s core. Our whole universe is sound. One of my favourite books, “The World Is Sound: Nada Brahma: Music and the Landscape of Consciousness by Joachim-Ernst Berendt, explores this idea deeply. If you have not read it, it is truly sonically and creatively inspiring.

We can open our ears and being to the worlds of sound both within and without. We think of sound as frequencies we hear with our physical ears. But there are also unstruck sounds, frequencies that are subtle yet still can be sensed. For example, we hear the thoughts that pass through our head, that inner chatter, even though no object is vibrating to create that sound frequency.

The voice of the Divine is like this to me, everywhere, in all things, pulsing, flowing, alive. When we learn to listen, life is resonant with an orchestral vibrancy that is nothing short of awe inspiring. This lush orchestration arises from and moves us to stillness. Sound can inspire an inner quiet that feels vast, expansive and infinite. When we open our ears, our heart, our body and our mind and truly listen, we can hear the wondrous pulsating sounds of Life itself.

Following the official release of this album on Friday, May 11, Parvati begins a ten-week tour of the United States, beginning in Seattle. A percentage of all proceeds on the tour will go to the environmental efforts of Amma's charitable organization Embracing The World.

Canada's shortwave voice about to be silenced

Barring some kind of last-minute stay of execution, Radio Canada International (RCI), the international service of the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation/Société Radio-Canada since 1945, will leave the air for good on or about June 24, taking the transmitter site in Sackville, New Brunswick with it. Unlike in 1991, when the Mulroney-era CBC's budget cuts only killed off half of RCI's languages and programs, this cut is real and will end Canada's shortwave presence once and for all.

From the RCI Action Committee, here are a few of the key facts in point form:

• RCI’s budget has been cut by more than 80% – from $12.3 million to $2.3 million
• RCI newsroom will be eliminated, all newscasts cut. Note that newscasts intended for an international audience should not be re-broadcasts of CBC's domestic programs. For example, a news item in a broadcast intended for Canadians may simply reference "NDP leader Thomas Mulcair", but listeners outside Canada, who may not even know what "NDP" stands for, will likely need some further explanation or context: "Thomas Mulcair, the leader of the leftist New Democratic Party, the official opposition..."
• RCI will no longer be a radio broadcaster, whether on shortwave or satellite. They might as well call it ICI ("Internet Canada International") because it sure isn't radio!
• Chinese audience will be cut off from uncensored news from RCI because only shortwave reaches the Chinese, the RCI website is blocked by China, as are many websites originating in First World democracies or that dare question China's stellar record of respecting human rights and tolerating dissent.
• Important potential trading partners such as China, India, Russia, Brazil (the so-called BRIC countries) will be cut off from news from Canada, because the RCI website is blocked or the Internet not as accessible as in North America
• Russian and Portuguese services will be eliminated (there goes half the BRIC!)
• For the language services that remain, English, French, Arabic, Mandarin and Spanish,there will be some kind of website presence, still undefined, and far less effective than radio transmissions.
• People in many countries in Asia, Africa, and Latin America still have spotty Internet access, and depend on our broadcasts for Canadian news. In fact people in many countries don't even have reliable access to electricity, let alone high-speed internet access, assuming they could afford to buy a computer. Their only connection to the world may be a battery-powered, solar-powered or wind-up portable radio.
• As Canadians we feel it’s essential Canada have a Voice to the World producing programming tailored for an audience not familiar with Canada, or for potential immigrants to Canada, or even just a familiar voice from home for Canadians traveling abroad.
• RCI’s uniqueness is not that we broadcast in a number of languages, but that we explain Canada to the world in those languages
• Because of RCI’s contextualized programs for people with little or no information on Canada, trade, tourism, and immigration has been helped
• With the layoffs, Canada will lose people with decades of expertise at representing Canada around the world
• Canada’s Voice to the World has been a respected source of journalism for the past 67 years

See also The Terrible Cost of Cutting International Radio by Thomas Witherspoon. (An American explains why Radio Canada International should have been spared in the recent round of CBC budget cuts.)

Will Stephen "give me a decent haircut or this kitten dies" Harper let RCI die? The whole world is listening, including Patria!

Visiting Patria? Leave the hoodie at home!

The death of Trayvon Martin, the hoodie-wearing black Florida teenager who was shot and killed by a Neighborhood Watchman who believed him to be armed and dangerous, has not gone unnoticed in Patria. As in the US, the usual bleeding-hearts and leftists want the shooter, George Zimmerman (if that name sounds Jewish, Robert Zimmerman was actually Bob Dylan's birth name!) charged with murder and a hate crime to boot. The National Union has said what most Americans are probably thinking to themselves but won't dare say publicly for fear of being ostracized as racists: When black males in hoodies stop committing a disproportionate number of crimes, police and law-abiding citizens will stop profiling them. When they stop dressing like gang-bangers, we will stop treating them like potential criminals.

Although it is no longer enforced with the same vigor as it used to be in the Federal District of Castoropolis during the 46th Congress (1998-2002, when the NU ran roughshod over Patria's capital city, like Mike Harris in Ontario), Patria has a dress code in place for young people - usually interpreted as anyone under 65; it is not unusual in Patria for 40-somethings to get carded when attempting to buy beer! The code is specifically targeted at young men dressing like thugs and young women dressing like sluts.

The following attire is explicitly prohibited in the Federal District, and in some of the greater Castoropolis suburbs in Caesarea:

• Bandannas or do-rags
• Cornrow hair styles
• Baggy jeans or cargo pants
• Baseball caps worn backwards or sideways
• Excessive jewellery, such as oversize crucifixes
• Hoodies
• Black and silver sports logos, e.g. Chicago White Sox, Oakland Raiders and Wayne Gretzky-era LA Kings.
• Any other clothing identified with gangs - at the discretion of the National Union's Youth Police as to what constitutes "gang" clothing and/or "gang colors"

In addition to leaving the hoodie at home, young visitors to Castoropolis should note that a dusk-to-dawn curfew is in effect from one half hour after sunset until one half hour before sunrise. During these hours no one under 18 is allowed on the streets without a parent or adult guardian. Any kid on the streets between 8:30 AM and 4:30 PM on school days should also have a good excuse for the NU Youth Police.

Would Travyon Martin still be alive if he hadn't been wearing a hoodie? Quite possibly. And in Patria, the message is simple: dress with dignity. And modesty, for women.

60 years the Queen...send her victorious!

(From time to time, Patria honors macronational - i.e. "real", generally recognized countries - heads of state.)

On this day in 1952, upon the passing of King George VI, Princess Elizabeth became Queen Elizabeth II, by the Grace of God Queen of the United Kingdom of Great Britain & Northern Ireland, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, and a whole slew of other Commonwealth countries. But unlike Queen Victoria, not Empress of India. Any chance of inheriting that title was lost on Aug. 15, 1947.

The Diamond Jubilee will be celebrated throughout the UKOGBANI this summer, including the 2012 London Olympics (another macronational event, to which micronations like Patria are not invited and probably wouldn't be able to field competitive athletes anyway), and members of the royal family will tour many of the Commonwealth member states. The Queen has delegated the job of visiting Canada to Prince Charles and his ugly troll Camilla.

The Queen's Diamond Jubilee message:

'Today, as I mark 60 years as your Queen, I am writing to thank you for the wonderful support and encouragement that you have given to me and Prince Philip over these years and to tell you how deeply moved we have been to receive so many kind messages about the Diamond Jubilee.

In this special year, as I dedicate myself anew to your service, I hope we will all be reminded of the power of togetherness and the convening strength of family, friendship and good neighbourliness, examples of which I have been fortunate to see throughout my reign and which my family and I look forward to seeing in many forms as we travel throughout the United Kingdom and the wider Commonwealth.

I hope also that this Jubilee year will be a time to give thanks for the great advances that have been made since 1952 and to look forward to the future with clear head and warm heart as we join together in our celebrations.

I send my sincere good wishes to you all.

ELIZABETH R'

Patria salutes Her Majesty for sixty years of devoted, tireless, selfless service to the UK, the Commonwealth, and the world - every Canadian Prime Minister from St. Laurent to Harper, every US President from Truman to Obama, and every Congress in Patria from the 34th to 49th.

God save the Queen! Long may she reign! Because Patria is dreading the thought of King Chuck and Queen Camilla.