End of the road for 50th Congress campaign trail

Patria's marathon 2014 election campaign - almost as long as a US presidential election or the race for Mayor of Toronto - ends at 11:59 PM local Patria time tonight. By law, all campaigning and electioneering must end at one midnight before midnight on election day eve.

On the last day of Campaign 2014, the Chastity Party, Family Values Party and the rest of Patria's social conservative contingent are reeling from the Supreme Court's decision that legalized same-sex marriage in Patria. But apart from the usual tired old slogans ("healthy, happy, heterosexual", "look to the right", "throw the liberals out", "forward to the 1950s"), there is virtually no fight left in these right-wing busybodies and US Republican wannabes. They have all but conceded defeat on the gay marriage issue. Their hoary old "Patria must be a safe place for social conservatives" mantra has sputtered out and is roadkill on the 2014 campaign trail. Although a lot of hot air has been expended over the past four years advocating a ban on public displays of affection by couples and modest dress for women, as Campaign 2014 entered the home stretch there has been little support for such measures in the new administration. Indeed, Patria is not Gilead.

The major parties spent the last full day of the election campaign getting out the vote and shoring up support in the so-called battleground precincts. The SRM, Amrita and Chakra parties, as well as the Greens, campaigned hard in Caesarea and the Federal District of Castoropolis, where 99 seats are up for grabs. Amrita also campaigned heavily in Arboria, Amma's home precinct in Patria, where the Amrita Party is facing a major challenge from the old-school Hindu SRM. The Social Democrats focused on prying votes away from the "take back the economy" SRM in Centralia, Aeolia and Nova Columbia - Patria's rust belt, which was hit hard by the 2008-09 recession and still has not recovered. The National Union's macho men and big dogs campaigned for support in the mid-major precincts of Aeolia, Antioch, Ambrosia (the "triple A precincts"), Mauretania, Lazuria as well as the Caesarea suburbs of Castoropolis. The Jungle Party held its rally in downtown Castoropolis, at the studios of PMBC-1152, the flagship station of the Jim Rome Show.

Since pre-election polls are officially banned in Patria, neither the news media or any party have any real idea of which party is the front-runner or how many seats a party is likely to win. The vote amounts to 14 crap-shoots in the 13 precincts and the Federal District of Castoropolis. The difference between democracy and feudalism: in democracy your vote counts, in feudalism your count votes!