Showing posts with label #Patria200. Show all posts
Showing posts with label #Patria200. Show all posts

Friday, December 28, 2018

Bicentennial #patria200 an underwhelming dud

In 2018 Patria celebrated 200 years of being the best country we never had!
As 2018 comes to a close, Patria's bicentennial celebrations - known by the hashtag #patria200 - have been condemned as an underwhelming dud that failed to generate much enthusiasm within Patria and in the greater micro-world. This was due in part to the celebrations of Patria's founding in 1818 being mostly locally focused, rather than a huge Patria-wide party or Micro-world's Fair. There are more than enough fingers to point for Patria's bicentennial failing to live up to the hype. A general feeling of "you get what you pay for" as Patria's 50th Congress (2014-2018) appropriated only token funding for the celebrations, while precinct and local governments attempted to take up the slack. The Ministry of Transportation came under fire for failing to celebrate the centennial of the Castoropolis Metro (Patria's first subway/metro/tube, opened in 1918) as well as for failing to offer a distinctive bicentennial license plate, though motorists in Patria can choose from three graphic plates, as well as a non-graphic base. The Patria Mint made little effort to place special issue bicentennial coins into circulation; one and two Patrienish Rupee pocket change featuring only the "1818-2018" double date. Patria Post produced a number of commemorative stamps, but most of them seemed like regular issues that added only the #patria200 hashtag.

Of course, no one expected a celebration on the scale of the United States bicentennial in 1976 or Canada's centennial in 1967. The celebrations were about as low-key and underwhelming as #Canada150 - the celebration of Canada's 150th anniversary as a Dominion of the Commonwealth (Canadians rarely use the term "independence") in 2017.

Nonetheless, there were a few highlights and happy times in Patria in 2018:

  • The election of 2018 saw Bernie Sanders-style democratic socialism win a plurality of seats in the Fifty-First Congress. The election campaign proved to be a hard fight against the forces of right-wing populism and fear-mongering about an evil communist bogeyman, but in the end voters in Patria chose left-wing populism, the Social Democrats, combined with the Amrita Party and the other spiritual parties. On Inauguration Day, June 30, a stirring (if not extra long) Inaugural Address was delivered and to show that even socialists can look rich for one night, a traditional Inaugural Ball was held.
  • After more than a century of failed efforts, Patria officially recognized the tenrec as its national animal symbol.
  • The Patrienish Rupee held its value as arguably the most stable micro-national currency.
  • Only a few weeks ago, Cook Islands became the second real-world macro-national country, after Samoa, to sign the MAPS (Marine Arctic Peace Sanctuary) treaty. Since its ratification of the treaty in 2016, Patria has lobbied hard for the establishment of MAPS as an effective step to cool our planet and keep our oceans alive.
As we leave 2018, you will find below the last of Patria Post's series of bicentennial stamps, along with Patria's traditional Christmas stamp issue.




Saturday, June 30, 2018

Fifty First Congress Inaugural Address/Speech from the Throne


The following is the official text of the Inaugural Address/Speech from the Throne delivered at the Capitol in Castoropolis, shortly after 12:00 noon Patrienish Local Time on June 30, 2018:


Madam Chief Justice, members of the Fifty-First Congress, all those who served in the Fiftieth Congress, distinguished guests, fellow citizens of Patria, embodiments of divine souls and all of Amma’s beloved children: ya devi sarvabhuteshu matrirupena samsthita namastasyai namastasyai namastasyai namo namah. Salutations and prostrations to the Devi who abides in all beings in the form of Mother as this most auspicious bicentennial inaugural day has arrived. Behold the Inner Realm that the Divine Mother in Her limitless mercy has preserved for two hundred years, the Inner Realm that on this day we vow at Her lotus feet to love and serve, and whose Constitution to support and defend.

On this day in 1818 it was in divine right order for our founding mothers and founding fathers to establish an Inner Realm founded on and devoted to the practice of Sanatan Dharma, popularly known as Hinduism, committed to seva or selfless service as modeled by Lord Rama’s faithful monkey servant Hanuman, and loyal to the teachings of the Vedas, Puranas, Bhagavad Gita and the lineage of gurus. Seventy-five years before Swami Vivekananda introduced the teachings to a receptive Western world at the Chicago Parliament of Religions, Patria raised the torch of Sanatan Dharma and has held it high to this day. Patria’s shraddha – faith – and bhakti – devotion – have never wavered. To borrow the motto of the province of Ontario, ut incepit fidelis sic permanet: loyal she began, loyal she remains.

In the early decades of the nineteenth century, Patria slowly grew – if it grew at all –  amid a wild, untamed pre-industrial frontier. Until the coming of the telegraph and railways in the 1840s, the teachings of Sanatan Dharma could travel only as fast as a horse could gallop. But still Patria took root. Even before the American Civil War, Patria offered a safe haven to runaway slaves. Loyal she began, loyal she remains.

In 1867 as Canada came into being, Patria established a special relationship with the new dominion that continues to this day, even if no Canadian leader from Sir John A. Macdonald to Justin Trudeau has ever recognized Patria’s consular mission in midtown Toronto. Loyal she began, loyal she remains.

In the 1880s as the great European powers scrambled for colonies in Africa and Asia, Patria claimed Madagascar and the Spratly Islands as part of its colonial empire. The claims were abandoned by 1900 not only when Congress failed to ratify a resolution that would have made the tenrec Patria’s national animal but after Patria recognized the evils of colonialism and the costs of taking up the “white man’s burden” decades before the great macro-world powers granted their colonies independence. Loyal she began, loyal she remains.

In 1914 Patria declared neutrality in the fratricidal Great War and celebrated its centennial amid the bullets, bombs and poison gas of that war and a deadly flu epidemic in 1918. Loyal she began, loyal she remains.

In the 1920s Ramrajyavani – the Voice of Patria – signed on in order to propagate the teachings of Sanatan Dharma and bring yoga classes, bhajans and kirtan into our homes via the new medium of radio. Legendary AM powerhouse stations such as PMC, PMBC and POKX came on the air and continue to broadcast today. Loyal she began, loyal she remains.

In the 1930s Patria battled the Great Depression with its own version of Franklin D. Roosevelt’s New Deal. Many of Patria’s classic Art Deco public building were built as job-creation projects, much like WPA projects in the US, while unlike FDR in 1933, the Patrienish Rupee remained redeemable in gold. Loyal she began, loyal she remains.

In 1941 Patria committed no troops to fight another fratricidal World War but the Inner Realm supported the Allied cause in the struggle to defeat a true Empire of Evil. Loyal she began, loyal she remains.

In 1947 as India won independence, Patria also established a special relationship with the motherland of yoga and spiritual home of Sanatan Dharma, even if no Indian government from Jawaharlal Nehru’s Congress Party to Narendra Modi’s BJP has ever recognized Patria. Bharat Mata Ki Jai and loyal she began, loyal she remains.

In the 1950s Patria became virtually a clean-cut piece of postwar Leave It to Beaver Americana, where air was clean, sex was dirty and consumer goods were cheap, where the then-centrist National Union ruled, where women were homemakers and mothers, and where certain races and ethnic groups knew their place. Yet the flame of Sanatan Dharma continued to burn, albeit at times clandestinely, beneath the surface of a lily-white ostensibly Judeo-Christian utopia. Loyal she began, loyal she remains.

In the 1960s, while the National Union continued its hold on Patria, the counterculture and so-called “New Left” took root. As hippies, flower children and US draft dodgers proliferated in the 37th and 38th Congress, Patria redoubled its effort to look inward, “tune in, turn on, drop out” and “make love not war”. Loyal she began, loyal she remains.

In the 1970s and 1980s, even as yoga was becoming mainstream and immigrants from South Asia were introducing Hinduism to the western macro-world, Patria settled into a somewhat bland liberal, secular republic, usually known as Castoria rather than Patria or Ramrajya. These were the awful days of the powerless do-nothing Fortieth Congress, after which then came the dark time of failed policies and failed hopes of the Forty-First Congress, followed by the alcohol-fueled hedonism of the Forty-Second Congress, which nonetheless left Patria in better shape than it found it. Loyal she began, loyal she remains.

Finally in 1989, as the assimilationist regression-to-the-mainstream Forty-Third Congress became a house divided against itself, there came the spark of liberation which has become known as the Dharmic Revolution. Actually the “Spark of ’89” was a counter-revolution against the tired old forces of blandness, centrism and assimilation to mainstream Western Judeo-Christian values. It served as a call to return Patria to the values and traditions that had birthed it in 1818. Whether a revolution or counter-revolution, it did not take place in a macro-world vacuum. As we know, Patria’s spiritual re-awakening almost three decades ago was inspired by and took place amid the fall of the Berlin Wall, the democratic revolutions in Eastern Europe and the demise of the Soviet Union. Patria turned inward, focused inwardly, as the Forty-Fourth Congress election in 1990 called for a return to the spiritual values that gave birth to Patria and made it great. Loyal she began, loyal she remains.

In the Forty-Fifth Congress, Patria deeply felt the pain caused by the downfall of one beloved teacher in the Kripalu lineage, but sought out others and between 1994 and 1998 transitioned from Amrit to Amma. During this transitional time, Patria was represented during a Premyatra or Pilgrimage of Love to India that re-connected with the lineage of Swami Kripalvananda to whose lotus feet Patria remains devoted. Loyal she began, loyal she remains.

On December 31, 1999 citizens of Patria were kept in suspense wondering if the power grid would fail and the infrastructure would collapse as the clock struck midnight. That it did not, and the first day of the new millennium turned out to be a day just like any other, was due as much to the grace of the Divine Mother as to the computer geeks who spent much time and treasure fixing the alleged Y2K bug. Loyal she began, loyal she remains.

On September 11, 2001 Patria mourned and still remembers the lives lost in the horrific attacks perpetrated by Al-Qaeda, but would not join George W. Bush’s Global War on Terror. Hate cannot drive out hate. Darkness cannot drive out darkness. Loyal she began, loyal she remains.

In 2008 the macro-world’s economy melted down and threatened to take Patria down with it. Yet Patria rode out the Great Recession, the Patrienish Rupee – still based on a gold standard as in the 1930s – lost virtually no value and the economy recovered through the grace of the Divine Mother. Loyal she began, loyal she remains.

And thus, over two centuries, this lovely land has prospered with the blessings of Amma, Karunamayi and all the Devis. Rooted, vital and expansive, grounded in the Positive Possibilities and the Divine Mother’s love. The motto of Canada’s most populous province has never rung truer in Patria. Loyal she began, loyal she remains.

With that re-cap of Patria’s history, we have looked back over the past two hundred years. Now let us look forward to the goals that this new Congress hopes to achieve over the next four years.

That the duty of care for the environment – beginning with simple steps of re-purposing, recycling, conserving non-renewable energy and reducing dependence on fossil fuels –  must be one of the primary duties of all Patrienish citizens in this new administration is widely accepted. No one can fail to note the extremes of climate change in recent years – let us not use the term “global warming” because in many cases the climate change, caused or exacerbated by human activity and misuse of nature’s gifts, has resulted in brutally cold winters and more snowfall. In 2016 Patria became the first and thus far the only government with the exception of Samoa to have ratified the Marine Arctic Peace Sanctuary or MAPS treaty, intended to establish all ocean waters north of the Arctic Circle as a marine protected area, free from oil drilling and all other exploitation, thereby protecting the fragile Arctic ecosystem and safeguarding the melting polar ice cap that is a major factor in climate change. MAPS would also compel a global shift away from fossil fuels to sustainable energy and unite world leaders in the commitment to value long-term collective good over short-term individual gain.

But being thousands of kilometers away, the Arctic Ocean may not seem to affect Patria’s daily life. Along with planting trees and keeping bees, what else can citizens of Patria do locally in order to foster sustainable living? The spiritual leader of the Amrita Party has the answer. In this bicentennial year, it is Amma’s wish that Patria concentrates its environmental initiatives on source reduction – stopping waste before it begins, and sharply reducing our use of plastics. Recycling is far from enough. Instead of recycling plastics and other throw-away products that need to be processed for reconfiguration into another form, we need to start using products that are designed to last, can easily be reused or repurposed, or find an alternative way of living that eliminates the need for the product altogether.

As we know, plastic is a notoriously unfriendly product for Mother Earth. It biodegrades very slowly, if at all. Discarded plastic sits in landfills for centuries. Plastic trash thrown into rivers and lakes makes its way into the oceans, where fish, sea birds and other marine animals mistake it for food or get entangled in the millions of tons of plastic waste choking the oceans and die horrific deaths. Fish and other animals taken from the sea for human consumption ingest micro-plastics which eventually end up on the human dinner table. But even vegans are not immune from plastic contamination. Therefore, as a bicentennial project the Fifty First Congress will answer the call of Amma’s Green Friends organization and take up the 2018 Plastics Challenge which was inaugurated by Amma in February of this year. Citizens of Patria will do their part to reduce significantly the use of plastics, reuse or repurpose so-called single-use plastic products at their homes, schools and workplaces, and find alternatives to plastic items, such as wooden toothbrushes, metal water bottles and even metal drinking straws.

If there is to be a war on plastic, India – perhaps the macro-world’s most polluted nation – is leading from the front. As all forms of disposable plastic were banned in Delhi in 2017, Castoropolis has done likewise, and residents of Patria’s capital have learned to bag their groceries in cloth bags supplied from home and sip their Diet Coke or Thums Up in a reusable cup without a straw. The precincts of Caesarea, Nova Columbia and Antioch have followed suit along with several other cities in Patria. On the First Session, 51st Congress order paper, there should be legislation that would ban single-use plastic items such as straws, cutlery and drink stirrers Patria-wide as the UK is planning to do, India vows to achieve by 2022 and New York City is considering.

Last but not least among Patria’s environmental initiatives: breaking the addiction to fossil fuels by reducing our dependence on cars, by using public transportation whenever possible for our daily trips. Patria’s roads, bridges, railways, subways – particularly the Castoropolis Metro which is celebrating its centennial this year – and other public transportation infrastructure must be improved and renovated as  bicentennial projects, with private-public partnerships if possible. Patria Rail as its bicentennial project should roll out high-speed trains that link Castoropolis with the capital cities of all thirteen Precincts.

Forty years ago today the Forty First Congress was inaugurated at this very place. While there have been other failed administrations over the past 200 years, the 41st Congress failed virtually right out of the box. One of the main reasons for its failure: the wrong choices made in post-secondary education. Even forty years ago, university was not a place to float aimlessly for three or four years. But at least in those days, even with a liberal arts degree more often than not postwar baby boomers could get a fairly good job after graduation. To state the obvious for millennials, those days are never coming back. Therefore, in Patria’s colleges and universities there must be a near-total emphasis on STEM – science, technology, engineering and math – rather than the arts and humanities, which have become almost irrelevant to today’s job market. While a basic grounding in the arts and humanities, not to mention a working knowledge of at least one foreign language, should still form part of a college education, the goal of a liberal education can be accomplished by a few non-STEM elective humanities courses and a year or two of studying Sanskrit and a foreign language of strategic value such as Russian, Mandarin or Arabic, not majors or specializations in such fields that are unlikely to lead to meaningful employment. For those who work at Patria’s colleges and universities as faculty, library technicians and support staff, there must be a better deal and an end to precarious part-time positions and one-year contract teaching positions that have virtually no chance of becoming full-time.

To those tough-as-nails National Union men, Amma says: Men have also suffered greatly as a result of the exile of the feminine principle from the world. Because of the oppression of women and the suppression of the feminine aspect within men, men’s lives have become fragmented, often painful. Men, too, have to awaken to their feminine qualities. They have to develop empathy and understanding in their attitude towards women, and in the way they relate to the world. Statistics show that men — not women — commit by far most of the crime and killing in this world. Only love, compassion, and patience — the fundamental qualities of women — can lessen the intrinsically aggressive, overactive tendencies of men. Similarly, there are women who need the qualities of men, so that their goodness and purity don’t immobilize them. Today when competition and anger are the norm everywhere, it is the patience and tolerance of women that create the harmony that exists in the world. Women are the power and the very foundation of our existence in the world. It is therefore crucial that women everywhere make every effort to rediscover their fundamental nature, for only then can we save this world. What today’s world really needs is cooperation between men and women, based on a firm sense of unity in the family and society. Wars and conflicts, all the suffering and lack of peace in the present-day world, will certainly lessen to a great extent if women and men begin to cooperate and support each other.

While Patria has moved on from the tired old “safe place for social conservatives” evangelical-style calls for modest dress for women and bans on public displays of affection by the Chads and Staceys, Patria must still be a safe place for so-called Incels. Of course Patria has zero tolerance for misogyny or violence against women, but this generation of lost boys, these socially inept men, more often than not on the autistic spectrum, who are unable to experience intimate relationships despite failed attempts to do so – hence involuntarily celibate – will not be ignored and ridiculed to the point where they become radicalized by the far right and take out their frustration by committing violent homicidal crimes. Each precinct’s Ministry of Health should take action to address the needs of Incels, perhaps by offering subsidies for the purchase of Real Dolls.

Notwithstanding the fear-mongering during the recent election campaign and the proliferation of “Faith Family Freedom” tweets, Communist hordes waving red flags and brandishing hammers and sickles are not standing at the gates of Patria. But as witnessed by the plurality of seats won by the Social Democrats, citizens of Patria have voted for a renewed commitment to liberal democratic socialism as modeled by Bernie Sanders, the US Senator from Vermont who should have been elected president in 2016 but instead became an honorary citizen of Patria.
Democratic socialism does not mean that the government is coming for your wealth, confiscating your holdings of gold and silver, giving your luxury car to a struggling single mother and turning your mansion into a collective farm. You can be a billionaire, member of the one-percent club or super-rich plutocrat in Patria. You can keep on riding in your chauffeured limousines and private jets. Your mansions and gated communities in East Castoropolis and Crozier Heights are safe from the unwashed hordes. Patria does not begrudge wealth, but it must come with humility. And more importantly, wealth can never be a measure of worth. Patria does not condemn those who earned their wealth through their own initiative and hard work or even those who inherited much of their riches. Patria asks of its plutocrats only that they pay their fair share of taxes, pay their employees living wages and allow them to join unions, and of course – in the noblesse oblige tradition of the Carnegies and Rockefellers – to dedicate at least a small portion of their wealth toward making Patria a better place for those less fortunate. As US Supreme Court Justice Louis Brandeis warned early in the last century, “we can have democracy in this country, or we can have great wealth concentrated in the hands of a few, but we can’t have both”.
And know this: democratic socialism does not mean that political correctness will be in vogue in Patria. Just because this Congress is the most liberal and left-leaning one ever elected in Patria’s history does not mean that PC buzzwords and jargon such as “intersectionality”, “micro-aggressions” and “patriarchy” will be bandied about. Democratic socialism does not mean that so-called social justice warriors will be running rampant as self-appointed thought police censoring constitutionally protected non-violent views and opinions expressed in the public squares and on social media. It cannot be emphasized strongly enough: Patria must remain a beacon of free speech and open debate of even the most unpopular politically incorrect topics, much to the chagrin of overly sensitive thin-skinned snowflakes who are offended by almost anything and can’t seem to take a joke.

Patria says NO to the elites, NO to “our betters” in the corporate boardrooms and ivory tower think tanks who believe that they know better than the hard-working common folks struggling to make ends meet, NO to the dishwater-dull mainstream establishment liberals and conservatives alike. To the fullest extent possible, the Fifty First Congress shall serve a forum for grassroots populist dissident voices, both right and left, and shall enact legislation that addresses the needs of the common man and woman first and above all. Government exists to serve the people, people do not exist to serve the government.

For the SRM and their “Patria First” friends who have marched to “take back Patria”, we ask “take Patria back from whom?” Take it back from Muslims? Blacks? Gays and lesbians? Illegal immigrants? Bogus refugees? You are looking in the wrong places. You should try taking Patria back from the Koch Brothers, Citigroup, Bank of America and Goldman Sachs. From their boardrooms in New York, these amoral banksters, plutocrats and one-percenters own not only America’s economy but that of Patria as well even if they refuse to recognize the micronational world. The Wall Street elites have taken it from you. Sure, Patria has changed and you are still feeling screwed almost a decade after the Great Recession. But don't be so lazy. Find out who is screwing you and do not blame the wrong people. It is not undocumented immigrants who broke unions. It is not Black people who closed your factory and shipped your job to Mexico or China. It is not Syrian refugees who decided that despite your employer’s making huge profits you don't need a raise. It was a white person, usually a heterosexual white male. Just like you, but wearing a bespoke tailored suit and driving a gas-guzzling super luxury car. And you are playing right into their hands. From their boardrooms in New York and their lobbies in Washington DC, they look and see you marching. And the counter protesters show up to fight with you, and they smile. Because they know as long as that ancient technique of divide-and-conquer keeps working, they will keep winning. You are middle class and poor. And as long as they can keep the middle class and poor left-wingers and right-wingers fighting each other in Patria as well as in America, they will keep screwing you harder and harder while laughing all the way to the bank.

Finally, in response to inner voices saying that now is the time for another Premyatra, now is the time to re-light the torch in the spirit of the original Premyatra in December 1995, know this: any time spent in the embrace of Bharat Mata is a nice-to-have, not a must-have, and even if funding is available for appropriation, visiting India will not be a priority in this administration. In a real sense, there is no need for a pilgrimage to Amritapuri, Madurai, Kanyakumari, or any other holy sites in Kerala and Tamil Nadu. The most sacred shrine is within and this inner place of pilgrimage can be accessed 24/7 at no cost.

There is no path to peace. Peace is the path. Selfless service is the path. Hands that help are better than lips that pray. May contentment reign within Patria’s borders, health and happiness within Patria’s homes. Strengthen the bonds of friendship and fellowship among all the inhabitants of Patria. Plant virtue in every soul and may the love of Thy name hallow every home and every heart. Let the mantra resound: not my will, O Lord, but Thine – Om namo bhagavate vasudevaya – and the word of Thine ancient seer be fulfilled: The Lord will reign forever, Thy God O Patria, from generation to generation, Hallelujah! May the tree of our lives be rooted in the soil of love. May good deeds be the leaves, kind words be the flowers, and peace be the fruit. May the world flourish as one family, united in love. May we thus be able to create a world in which peace and contentment prevail. JAI MA! May God bless all of you and God bless Patria!

© 2018, LI Con. Pat.  The above text is an official transcription, preserved in the Archives of Patria.  Any re-broadcast, re-transmission or other use of the pictures, descriptions or accounts of this Inauguration ceremony without the express written consent of the Undersecretary for Protocol, Ministry of the Interior and the Ministry of Dharma of Patria is strictly prohibited.  Don’t fool with us, boy!  We will throw your sorry ass in the slammer!

Sunday, May 27, 2018

Inaugural Address archive, 1998-2014

Inauguration Day for the 51st Congress-elect is five weeks away, but one of the tasks during the lame duck transition period is to compose a kick-ass Inaugural Address/Speech from the Throne that will be delivered on June 30, 2018. Coinciding with Patria's bicentennial celebration, the upcoming inaugural promises to be the best ever. It may even attract bigger crowds than Donald Trump's inauguration! If it doesn't, at least the weather will be better in Castoropolis on June 30th than in Washington, DC on January 20th.

In the meantime, you can read the transcripts of previous Inaugural Addresses:

2014 - 50th Congress

2010 - 49th Congress

2006 - 48th Congress

2002 - 47th Congress

1998 - 46th Congress

And one more #Patria200 stamp from Patria Post.


Saturday, March 17, 2018

Patria Post honors Roy Halladay (and tenrecs)


Major League Baseball 2018 opening day is just around the corner! Patria Post has issued a commemorative stamp in memory of former Toronto Blue Jays and Philadelphia Phillies ace pitcher Roy "Doc" Halladay, who lost his life when his private plane crashed into the Gulf of Mexico off the Florida coast in November 2017. While most recent Patria Post issues have been non-denominated "forever" stamps good for the current rate of a first-class letter, note that this stamp carries a denomination of 32 Patrienish Rupees to match the number Halladay wore while with the Blue Jays (he switched to number 34 after being dealt to the Phillies for some minor league prospects who never panned out in Toronto). The Blue Jays will officially retire Halladay's number 32 when they host the New York Yankees to kick off the 2018 season on March 29.

The 50th Congress has adjourned for the traditional pre-election recess, so that members can return to their home precincts for the final weeks of 51st Congress election campaigning before the vote on April 21 (April 14 in the maverick precinct of Fredonia). A bill is on the order paper that would make the tenrec Patria's official national animal. The measure failed in the 1890s as Patria abandoned its claim to Madagascar along with 19th century colonialism in general, but it may pass during the lame-duck session after election day. If the bill is ratified, honoring the tenrec would of course serve as a #Patria200 bicentennial tribute. In the meantime, Patria Post is giving tenrecs some love with another stamp in the #Patria200 series.


Friday, January 19, 2018

Tenrecs for #Patria200

I'm a tenrec and I stand for Patria!
For #Patria200, Patria's bicentennial celebration in 2018, get to know the tenrec! Like the Canadian beaver, the Russian bear, the Australian koala or kangaroo, and the American bald eagle, Patria has a de facto national animal: the little hedgehog-like tenrec, found almost exclusively in Madagascar. Its name is derived from the Malagasy tandraka; it has nothing to do with the number ten, or with recreation ("rec") for that matter. In Patria's official language, tandrací is Patrienish for tenrec.

The tenrec was likely the first mammal to land on Madagascar millions of years ago, so the early lineage evolved over generations to adapt its body shape to its environment. Through a process called “adaptive radiation,” new tenrec species appeared, each physically suited for its ecological niche and free of competition, according to the International Union for Conservation of Nature (IUCN)/SSC Afrotheria Specialist Group. The IUCN does not consider tenrecs an endangered species, but they do suffer from loss of habitat in their native Madagascar due to ongoing destruction of forests for slash-and-burn agriculture, charcoal, and cattle pasture.

The group ranges from the velvety-soft giant otter shrew, to the water-loving aquatic tenrec, to the punk rocker-looking streaked tenrec. They are mostly nocturnal and rely on their sensitive whiskers and keen sense of smell and hearing to find food. There are some 30 species of tenrecs, however one specific species will likely not be officially designated as Patria's national animal, should the 50th Congress (or the 51st Congress after June 30, 2018) act on it.

When threatened, a tenrec rolls into a ball, exposing its spiny covering and protecting its underbelly. The spiny ball is nearly impenetrable. Continued provocation can elicit it coming out of its ball and advancing, gaping, and head bucking to the threat. Should a predator dare to bite the tenrec, it can be left with a mouthful of short quills.

Tenrecs even make good pets!

This little critter is not exactly cute and cuddly (beware of its sharp quills!) but it represents Patria in a very real sense. Virtually unrecognized or unknown by most of the world and often thought of as a hedgehog, which it isn't. To celebrate Patria's bicentennial, a movement is afoot for Congress to officially designate the tenrec as Patria's national animal. It is only unofficially recognized as such. Circa 1883, as the UK, France, Germany and the other great macro-world powers sought out colonies in Africa and Asia, Patria joined the so-called "scramble for Africa" and claimed Madagascar as part of its colonial empire along with the Spratly Islands. The Madagascar claim has never been disputed by any macro-national world power (not even France, who ruled Madagascar from the 1890s until independence in 1960), so it must have been kosher. Nonetheless Patria abandoned its claim to Madagascar by 1900, not only when Congress failed to ratify a resolution that would have made the tenrec Patria's national animal, but more importantly when Patria recognized the evils of colonialism and the costs of taking up the “white man’s burden” decades before the great macro-world powers granted their colonies independence. But small colonies of tenrecs were brought to Patria, where they continue to thrive to this day. They can be spotted as urban wildlife, as common as squirrels in Castoropolis and Patria's other major cities.

Big dogs for National Unionists. Little tenrecs for the rest of Patria!
While on the topic of animals and the upcoming #patriavotes2018 election, the National Union has been campaigning hard on the BIG DOGS! TOUGH MEN! slogan. Macho testosterone-fueled law-and-order Marlboro-smoking Harley-riding National Union men (so their stereotype goes) own big dogs like rottweilers and pit bulls. According to the NU, men who don't like dogs, are scared of dogs, or who just prefer to own cats are soft-on-crime liberal pussies. The NU is doing everything possible to turn Patria into a macho tough men-only world and to remind voters that you can't spell PATRIARCHY without PATRIA, as they turn the clock back to the 1950s. National Unionists can have their big dogs. The rest of Patria prefers little tenrecs. For its part, Patria's Green Party is rolling out a SAVE THE TENRECS campaign, though as noted above tenrecs are not threatened with extinction.

If a tenrec could talk, it would say "I'm not a hedgehog" and "What are you doing to celebrate #Patria200?"

Saturday, October 28, 2017

Patria's official website relaunched

https://ammasbaby.wixsite.com/patria

As a #Patria200 bicentennial project, Patria's new official website has been relaunched and is going live. Please update your bookmarks  and click on to the link above.

This site replaces the old patria.zxq.net site, which became infested with malware. Do not visit the site as it could be harmful to your phone, tablet or PC. It may be blocked by your antivirus software anyway.

Although the new site will contain some material that has been migrated pretty much verbatim from the old zxq.net domain and even from the late 1990s Geocities site, there will be some new content added in the months to come, particularly as Patria's Fifty-First Congress election day (April 21, 2018) and Inauguration (June 30, 2018) draw near. But for now, the site is under construction and consists only of a single page. Please be patient as Patria's Webmaster has only Geocities-era webpage creation and design skills left over from the Clinton administration.

Saturday, October 21, 2017

Patria Post rolls out #Patria200 issues

Although snail-mail and the hobby of stamp collecting are declining as much in the micro-world as in real-life countries, Patria Post is not waiting for the calendar to flip to 2018 in order to get into Patria's bicentennial spirit. Several new stamp issues were released today containing the #Patria200 hashtag.




Note that most Patria Post issues are non-denominated "forever" stamps. The "1" is not a denomination of one Patrienish Rupee but represents the rate for a standard first class letter even as postal rates increase year after year. The current rate in Patria for a first class letter weighing up to 30 grams is RsPat. 27, but Patria Post will likely ask Congress for yet another rate hike in 2018.

Patria Post also re-issued in "forever" format an old definitive (regular issue) depicting Sri Sarada Devi.


Sunday, October 8, 2017

#Patriavotes2018 - the race for the 51st Congress


As the Fourth and final Session of the Fiftieth Congress (4·L 2017-18) is well underway, Patria is hitting the Fifty First Congress campaign trail along with the 2018 bicentennial celebration (see above for Patria Post's first bicentennial stamp issue). Here in a nutshell is what you need to know for Patria’s upcoming election:

Election Day: April 21, 2018 (Third Saturday in April). April 14 in Fredonia. Advance polls in other Precincts beginning on or about April 12, 2018.

Inauguration Day: June 30, 2018

What’s at stake: 333 seats in Patria’s 51st Congress (LI Con. Pat.), elections for Precinct legislatures and local city, county or demi-precinct councils in some of Patria’s 13 Precincts and the Federal District of Castoropolis (FDC). There is also an upper house in Patria, like the US and Canadian Senate or UK House of Lords, but its members are selected by the Precinct legislatures, not by direct popular vote.

How members of Congress are elected: Mixed-member proportional representation (MMP). As in Israel, lists of candidates are prepared by each party and seats are awarded in proportion to the percentage of votes received in each precinct. One-third of the seats (111) are filled by local candidates winning a plurality in their electoral district or riding. MMP, as in Germany, New Zealand and many other countries, is an idea whose time has come in Canada but will likely never happen thanks to Justin Trudeau’s broken 2015 campaign promise of electoral reform.

Congressional apportionment per precinct:
Caesarea – 61 seats
Federal District of Castoropolis – 38
Nova Columbia – 36
Lazuria – 27
Centralia – 25
Aeolia – 24
Arboria – 21
Antioch – 19
Ambrosia – 17
Canardiere – 16
Mauretania – 15
Pottsylvania – 13
Haldimania – 12
Fredonia – 9

Term of office: Four year term ending June 30, 2022.

Vote counting: paper ballots counted by hand. No hanging chads. This ain’t Florida 2000!

Follow on Twitter @Patriavotes2018 – a Twitter account devoted exclusively to the 2018 election campaign. Non-election tweets from Patria will be found @Patria1818, which you should also follow if you’re not already. Hashtags: #PatriaVotes2018 and #51stCongress, along with the #Patria200 hashtag for Patria’s bicentennial in 2018.

Following is some basic background information on Patria’s many and varied political parties. Numbers in [ ]’s indicate the number of seats held in the 50th Congress.

Amrita Party [68]
“Embracing Patria”, “Love and serve”, established in 2001 as a party for Amma’s devotees with Amma as House leader in Congress, where she represents the Precinct of Arboria. Generally liberal-progressive, reflecting the political views of the vast majority of Amma’s western devotees in the macro-world (notwithstanding that conservatives and even supporters of Donald Trump go for Amma’s darshan too!). Merged briefly with the SRM (see below) in 2006 and is rumored to be merging with the Social Democrats (q.v.) for 2018.
Among the highlights of the Amrita Party's achievements since 2002:
  • Inclusion of Amma's teachings and bhajans (devotional songs) in the curriculum of many of Patria's elementary schools.
  • Opening of a branch of the Amrita Institute of Medical Sciences (AIMS) hospital in Patria.
  • Establishment of a campus of the Amrita University in Patria.
  • Establishment of a permanent Amma ashram in Patria, in Karunanagar, Caesarea, easily accessible via the Caesarea Coast Line of the Castoropolis and Caesarea Railways (CCR).
  • Addition of Amrita Television to all basic cable TV services in Patria.
Standard disclaimer: The Amrita Party of Patria exists only in the unrecognized country ("micronation") known as the Inner Realm of Patria (Antarbhumi Ramrajya) and has no connection whatsoever with the MA Center, Mata Amritanandamayi Math, Amma Canada, or any actual Amma-related organization in any recognized country of the world.

SRM (Swadeshi Ramrajya Movement) [55]
“Bring the jobs home” “Make Patria great again” Small-c conservative Hindu nationalist, economic protectionist, social conservatives (e.g. pushing “modest dress” for women), Patria First. Inspired by and quite similar to Narendra Modi’s Bharatiya Janata Party (BJP) in India. Originally known as the Spiritual Regeneration Movement, the SRM has its origins in the 1960s hippie counterculture heyday but didn’t become a mainstream party until Patria’s 1989-90 Dharmic Revolution. After the 2006 election, Amma’s devotees merged the SRM into the Amrita Party. But by 2010 the SRM-Amrita coalition fell apart as economic conservative remnants of the old SRM bolted from Amrita (in large measure as a result of the 2008-09 economic meltdown), took a turn to the right and revived the SRM with the initials standing for something new.
 
Chakra Party [59]
“No gurus, just right”, “transformation not transcendence” yoga/new age liberal. Another party that has its roots in the 1960s hippie era but didn’t become established until Patria’s Dharmic Revolution, led by hippies and new-agers who never really left the 60s. Secular party for the “spiritual but not religious” (SBNR) folks – mostly westerners who grew up with Judaism or Christianity – who do yoga and practice some kind of Eastern-based spirituality but steer clear of the H-word (i.e. Hinduism) or who do not identify as devotees of Amma.

National Union [26]
“Obedience and respect for authority”, “where a man belongs”, “testosterone in your balls, NU on your ballot”, the macho, populist, blue lives matter (“there’s no such thing as a bad cop”), law and order National Union has its roots dating from the mid-19th century as a small-c conservative party. National Unionists once dominated Patria in the 1950s and 60s as a bland, centrist party like Ontario’s Bill Davis-era Tories. They should have died of irrelevance post-Dharmic Revolution, but since the 1990s the NU recast itself to become the leader in the men’s rights movement, thumbed its nose at soft-on-crime liberals and has pushed every right wing law and order issue, e.g. bringing back public executions, broken windows policing and even racial profiling for public safety. Always seems to punch above its weight, even if violent crime is not a serious issue in Patria.

Jungle Party [28]
“Have a take, don’t suck”, inspired by Jim Rome, a leading US sports talk radio personality who is heard in Patria as well as in the US and Canada on the CBS Sports network. The typical Jungle party voter is an unemployed or minimally employed 30-something male living in his parents’ basement, playing online games and with no girlfriend to speak of. But the party has apparently drawn men who might otherwise vote National Union.

Social Democrats [49]
“Go forward!” “Progress with a purpose”, old-line social democratic party from the macro-world, based on Canada’s NDP and currently inspired by Bernie Sanders and Jeremy Corbyn. A well-established workers’ progressive labor party since the 1930s, Social Democrats enjoyed a surge of popularity in 2014 and can likely expect to grow even more in 2018, riding the coat-tails (or Union-made in USA suit) of Bernie Sanders. Despite being an old-left democratic socialist party, the SD has little tolerance for politically correct busybody do-gooders, vegan moral high-grounders, social justice warriors, Israel as an apartheid state, so-called Cultural Marxism, “micro-aggressions”, “safe spaces”, the let’s-hate-Whitey common leftist belief that only White people – particularly White heterosexual males – can be racist, and snuffing out free speech (i.e. discussion of unpopular or conservative views) on college campuses. Closely aligned with the Amrita Party and rumoured to be merging with it as Campaign 2018 begins.

Green Party [13]
“Bikes not cars” Macro-world party that has found a foothold in Patria, particularly following Patria’s unofficial endorsement of the US Green Party’s candidate Jill Stein in the 2016 presidential election. Like the Green Parties of Canada, the U.S. and Europe, the Greens of Patria appear to be leftist, progressive, bike-riding, Birkenstock-wearing, tree-hugging environmentalists. But Patria’s Greenies have been outed as economic conservatives and even Ayn Rand-style free-enterprise capitalists disguised as politically correct left-wingers and moral high-grounders.

Libertarian Party [7]
Another party from the macro-world, trotting out the usual “less government, more freedom” mantra. The Libertarian party of Patria, like Libertarian Parties in the United States and Canada, is conservative on economic issues but very liberal on "free choice" issues such as legalization of drugs or abortion. There really is not much need for a Libertarian party in Patria, since Patria has become quite libertarian since the 1990s - decriminalizing drugs for all practical purposes, no restrictions on abortion, and strongly free-speech (in Patria, there are no laws criminalizing the propagation of hate speech such as Holocaust denial).

Fringe groups, one-issue parties, assorted nutbars [28]
A number of micro-parties or fringe parties such as the Chastity Party, Family Values Party, Lilith Party and Freedom Party get in thanks to no votes being wasted under proportional representation. Some of these fringe parties are one-trick ponies focusing on a single penny-ante issue, such as raising the drinking age to 25 or banning public displays of affection, and hold only a single seat in Congress.

It is possible, indeed quite likely, that at least one new party will come into existence during the 2018 campaign in the “fringe/nutbar” category above. The new party could even come out of nowhere to win more than one or two seats.