Vasant Panchami, not Valentines Day

Celebrate me on Feb. 14, 2013.

For many years, Patria has been leading the campaign to boycott - if not completely abolish - Valentines Day. Patria's dislike of the bogus Hallmark Holiday on Feb. 14 is well-known: over-commercialization, over-focus on "love" as only between heterosexual partners and only related to sexuality, but mainly because the day brutally excludes those who are involuntarily celibate (often because of Asperger's, now officially called autism spectrum disorders), do not have the social skills to function in an intimate partner relationship, are so devoted to their jobs or academic studies that they do not have time for a relationship, or are simply introverted. Not to mention those who are asexual. For men who do have girlfriends or significant others, Valentines Day forces these poor suckers to spend hard-earned money needlessly on useless "gifts" like flowers, chocolates and lingerie in the hope of getting some action between the sheets. Finally, in the northern hemisphere, the day falls in the middle of the coldest, dreariest month of the year. What Monday is to the week, February is to the year. For anyone who suffers from winter blahs or seasonal affective disorder, Valentines Day is just another crappy day that you could do without in a seemingly endless winter.

Incidentally, Patria discourages public displays of affection between couples. Kissing, fondling, tonsil hockey and other such acts in full view of children and vulnerable socially-disabled adults in public places such as buses, subways and park benches is frowned upon and could get you arrested in precincts with strong National Union and other conservative party representation. Patria is intended to be a safe place for "no sex until marriage, if at all" social conservatives and those whose autism spectrum social disability has made them de facto social conservatives.

Rather than Valentines Day, on Feb. 14th Patria will celebrate Vasant Panchami or Saraswati Jayanti. This day, in late January or early February according to the Hindu lunar calendar, celebrates the "birthday" or incarnation day of Mother Saraswati, the presiding deity of speech, language, literature and the arts. In her incarnation as Amma Karunamayi, Saraswati is Patria's Speaker of the House and ceremonial Head of State.

The most significant aspect of Vasant Panchami is that it is also the most auspicious day to begin laying one’s foundations of education – of how to read and write. Pre-school children are given their first lesson in reading and writing on this day. All Hindu educational institutions conduct special prayer for Saraswati on this day. It is also a great day to inaugurate training institutes and new schools

Screw Valentines Day. Do Saraswati Puja. Use those flowers for archana and chocolates for prasad. Saraswati Mata Ki Jai! The following is the traditional Saraswati arati song:

Om jaya Saraswati mata, jaya jaya Saraswati mata!

Sadaguna vaibhava shalini (2),

tribhuvana vikhyata. Jai jai Saraswati mata.

Victory to you, O Mother Saraswati!  You are renowned throughout the three worlds as the treasure-house of all great noble virtues.  Let all sing to the glory of your name!

Chandravadani padmasani dyuti mangalakare.  Maiya dyuti mangalakare.

Sohe shubha hamsa savare (2),

atula tejadhare.  Jai jai Saraswati mata.

O infinitely radiant goddess, you are beautiful and bright as the moon and are seated in lotus posture; you are lustrous in appearance and source of all blessings; your vehicle, the auspicious swan, looks elegant.

Bayem kara me vina, dayem kara mala.  Maiya dayem kara mala.

Shisha mukuta mani sohe (2),

gala motiyana mala.  Jai jai Saraswati mata.

In your left hand, O Mother Saraswati, is the vina and in the right a wreath; on your head lies a splendid coronet of gems and around your neck a mala of pearls.

Devi sharana jo ae, unaka uddhara kiya.  Maiya unaka uddhara kiya.

Paithi manthara dasi (2),

Ravana samhara kiya.  Jai jai Saraswati mata.

O Goddess, whoever sought refuge in you was released from the cycle of birth and death.  By perverting the mind of Kaikeyi's dull-witted hand­maid, Manthara, you became instrumental in the destruction of Ravana.

Vidya jñana pradayani, jñana prakasha bharo.  Maiya jñana prakasha bharo.

Moha ajñana timira ka (2),

jaga se nasha karo.  Jai jai Saraswati mata.

O bestower of learning and skill, illumine the world with light of knowledge and dispel the darkness of ignorance and infatuation.

Dhupa dipa phala meva, mam swikara karo.  Maiya mam swikara karo.

Jñana chakshu de mata (2),

jaga nistara karo.  Jai jai Saraswati mata.

O Mother, pray accept my gift of incense, light, both green and dry fruits, and endowing the world with the eyes of knowledge, ferry it across the ocean of the phenomenal world.

Mata Saraswati ki arati, jo koi jana gavai.  Maiya jo koi jana gavai.

Hitakari sukhakari (2),

Jñana bhakti pavai.  Jai jai Saraswati mata.

Whoever offers this arati to Mother Saraswati becomes a recipient of knowledge and devotion, both of which are beneficial and yield great happiness.