Commemorative stamp for Amma's 60th birthday

Amma's devotees in Patria and in the macro-national world are eagerly awaiting Amma's 60th birthday on September 27. Official plans for an "Amritavarsham 60" celebration in Kerala, on the scale of Amma's 50th birthday in 2003, have not yet been announced. Nonetheless, Patria Post has issued a commemorative stamp to mark the occasion. Although most of Patria Post's recent stamp issues are non-denominated "forever" stamps valid for the current first-class postage rate of an ordinary letter, note that this stamp carries an actual denomination of 60 Patrienish Rupees (or about $1.50 US).

Three years done, one more to go: Third Session, 49th Congress adjourns for summer

The Third Session of Patria's 49th Congress adjourned for the [northern hemisphere] summer recess today, delivering the annual Message to Congress (Patria's version of the State of the Union address) shortly after ratifying Patria's fiscal 2014 budget. By unwritten tradition, the budget is the last legislative act of Congress each year before the end of the session. As in 2013, the budget contains plenty of the A-word (austerity, if you hadn't already guessed) along with the now-usual crappy economic news. With only one year and a couple days until the inauguration of the 50th Congress and election day - April 19, 2014 - coming sooner than you think, Campaign 2014 is for all practical purposes officially under way.

The following is the text of Patria's annual message for 2013.

XLIX Con. Pat.

Annual Message to Congress (at closing of Session)

June 27, 2013

Om brghu-ksetra-samun-milat-para-daivata-tesase namah. Adorations to the Mother who is the divine glory of the awakening land of Patria. With the Divine Mother’s blessings, the 49^th Congressus Patriaë has completed three quarters of its term of office.

 At the three-quarter pole, can one find anyone in Patria who feels that he or she has recovered from the Great Recession or GED (Global Economic Downturn)? Much like the previous two sessions, this third session ends with more dismal economic news, the very real possibility of Patria’s economy sliding back into full-blown recession, nothwithstanding the glass-half-full spin-meisters who trumpet that the Great Recession ended in 2009 and foolishly proclaim the economy to be robust and growing. Just as in the United States and much of Europe, over the course of this session of Congress Patria made some tough economic choices and must continue to put its fiscal house in order going forward to the 2014 election cycle. In Patria’s fiscal 2014 budget, which was ratified by Congress earlier today, once again the key word is austerity: public sector jobs will be chopped, government services will be reduced, and there is virtually nothing the scruffy band of “Occupy Patria” protesters or the liberal lapdog media can do to stop the cuts. Therefore, be warned: if you have not already felt them, the cutbacks are coming. The austerity cobra is ready to strike. Its fangs are bared. But know this: if you are fortunate enough to still have a job, over the course of the next session and the 2014 election campaign you will – thanks to the Diet Coke Party and the Swadeshis factions – at least enjoy the benefits of reduced taxes and smaller, less intrusive government in your take-home pay.

 While political Marxism is almost a spent force, surviving only in a few macro-national hell-holes such as Cuba and North Korea, the evil scourge of Cultural Marxism continues to threaten Patria more than two decades since the Berlin Wall fell and the once-mighty Soviet Union ceased to exist. In this session we have continued to carry on the struggle to promote both economic and social conservative values, to nip in the bud any effort to revive the soul-destroying failed doctrines of Soviet-era communism, to fight the leftist arbiters of political correctness at every turn, to ensure that this Congress remains a forum for open debate of issues that mainstream liberals and conservatives alike are unable or unwilling to address, and to make Patria a safe place for politically incorrect dissident-rightist libertarian-conservative non-violent thought.

 In this session, Patria has been forced to deal with the politically incorrect fact that radical Islamism – not the Islam religion per se – is incompatible with Patria’s peaceful, orderly way of life, based on the precepts of Sanatan Dharma, free from sectarian struggles, imported civil wars and random acts of terrorism. Of course, the vast majority of Muslims are not terrorists. But as we cannot fail to note, from the World Trade Center to the Boston Marathon the vast majority of terrorists are Muslim. Peaceful, otherwise law-abiding mainstream Muslim organizations and mosques tolerate the radicals and terrorists in their midst or have failed to boot them out. As in America, Patria must address the issue of patriotic immigration reform, root out illegal immigrants and deport them immediately, and admit only legal immigrants who are open, ready and willing to embrace Patria’s non-violent values, Vedic culture and Hindu heritage. Going forward into the Fourth Session, there must be no amnesty or path to citizenship for illegal immigrants. Citizenship in Patria, whether by birth or naturalization, is a privilege and not a right.

 Another macro-national issue, gay marriage, has remained a hot-button issue over the course of this session. Same-sex marriages have been legal in Canada for some time and may be coming soon to several American states, as just the other day the US Supreme Court struck down the so-called Defense of Marriage Act. But here in Patria, while there is zero tolerance for discrimination against gays and lesbians in employment, public acommodations and the like, and the cowards who perpetrate homophobic acts of violence against gays and lesbians will be vigorously prosecuted and severely punished, marriage must remain a sacred bond and lifetime commitment between a man and a woman, and only between a man and a woman. If someday the Supreme Court of Patria should rule otherwise, you can be assured that no pandit, priest, pastor or rabbi in Patria will ever be required to perform a gay marriage.

 As Congress adjourns for the summer recess, Patria renews the call for non-violent satyagraha. Just as Mahatma Gandhi did in India back in the last century, we call for Patria to rise up and boycott imported garments – in this case to boycott made-in-Bangladesh t-shirts, drawstring pants and the like and the big-box retailers such as Walmart, Joe Fresh and H&M who sell such clothing at a low price in dollars or rupees but at a cost of thousands of human lives, mostly women, lost in the collapse of a gigantic sweatshop factory while working long hours for penny-ante wages in order to satisfy the First World’s demand for bargain-rate fashions. The garment industry’s race to the bottom is a race that Patria should not enter. It is a race whose finish line is in Dhaka, Bangladesh, which perhaps not coincidentally sounds somewhat like “Dachau”. We know of the “hundred mile diet” in which as much as possible of the food we eat is grown with a 100 mile or 62.5 kilometer radius of our homes. In the fight against Bangladeshi imports and in protest against the inhuman working conditions of Bangladeshi sweatshops, to say nothing of the loss of garment industry jobs by the thousands in Patria, Canada, the United States and other first-world democracies, citizens of Patria should adopt the “hundred mile wardrobe” and wear only made-in-Patria clothes, preferably traditional apparel such as kurtas, dhotis and saris, that have been manufactured within a 100 mile radius of home – if not produced at home with fabric spun on a spinning wheel, Gandhi style.

 Although campaigning for the election of 2014 has already begun for all practical purposes, particularly for National Unionists and Swadeshis, the summer between the Third and Fourth Sessions is the more-or-less official beginning of the election campaign for the new Congress. As we all know, on April 19, 2014 we will elect the 50^th Congress, the Congress that will take Patria toward its bicentennial in 2018. The 50^th Congress campaign, which we can follow on Twitter @Patria1818 by using the hashtag #PatriaVotes2014, will not only be considered a referendum on Patria’s economy – or Patria’s handling of the fallout from the GED – but a debate on whether the “Positive Possibilities” platform of the 2010 campaign can remain a viable path for Patria. Going into Campaign 2014, all parties, liberal or conservative, spiritual or secular – from the major players to the single-issue fringe parties and even the single-seat party of ones – must be all-in for the fight against globalism, outsourcing, offshoring and other nefarious job-killing local economy-destroying schemes being plotted in the boardrooms of New York and the lobbies of Washington DC. Patria’s economy must be reclaimed and restructured for the benefit of Patria and Patrienish citizens first, last and above all. After all, this is our Patria, isn’t it? Let us make a pledge to meet in September and bring to this House and to the 50^th Congress campaign trail bold new initiatives to fight the globalists and plutocrats, put Patria first, take back Patria’s economy and bring the jobs home.

Under the power vested in me by the Constitution of Patria, I declare closed the Third Session of the 49^th Congress, and call this Congress to re-assemble here on Monday, the 16^th of September 2013, to open the Fourth Session of the 49^th Congress.

2013, XLIX Con. Pat.  The above text is an official transcription, as published in The Congressional Record, June 27, 2013, 3·XLIX

Smack-Off 2013: the Jungle crowns a new King of Smack

Unlike last week's Hack-Off, which was such a bust that it will likely be the last Hack-Off ever, the 19th annual Smack-Off more than lived up to its advance billing. For the Clones (devoted listeners of the Jim Rome Show), the Smack-Off is the highlight of the year or Christmas in June. For the Jungle Party, the Smack-Off is the party caucus for the 2014 election.

The defending 2012 Smack-Off champion Chael Sonnen was unable to repeat. Previous Smack-Off winners such as Vic in NoCal and Brad in Corona couldn't get it done. The new Smack-Off winner - who will almost certainly be near the top of the Jungle Party list on Election Day 2014 and make some noise in the 50th Congress - is a relatively new Jungle fan, who was participating in only his second Smack-Off: Mark in Hollywood.

Top five Smack-Off finishers:

1. Mark in Hollywood
2. Stevie Carbone
3. Vic in NoCal
4. Mike in Indy
5. Chael Sonnen

Others who called: Dave in St. Louis (non-hunter), Dan in DC, Mike in Wichita, Jason in Little Rock, Trapper in Dana Point, Joe in the OC (i.e. Orange County, California), Jason in Fullerton (the former Jungle call screener and talent co-ordinator J-Stew), Brad in Corona and Boatie in Pearland. A number of other legendary callers and former Smack-Off winners such as Doc Mike DiTolla, Terrence in Sierra Madre and Iafrate were notable for their absence. It is possible that some of them tried to call Jim Rome but could not get on the air during the three hours of show time. If the Hack-Off is indeed toast, Patria would like to see the Smack-Off become a two-day event next year. There is more than enough "talent" (using that word loosely) among the Clones to fill six hours of show time.

Hack-Off 2013: no one wins

The 2013 Hack-Off was such a disappointing show that it may be the last one ever. After only four annual editions, Jim Rome is seriously considering killing the Hack-Off for 2014. Several of the best-known and loved Jungle "Hacks" who were invited to participate, such as defending 2012 champion Jolene, did not call. The calls that did make it to air were so uninspiring that apparently no one won the Hack-Off prize of a trip to the Smack-Off and a possible Jungle Party seat in the 50th Congress.

The 2013 gang of Hacks:

• Jason in Ottawa (aka "Star Canadian linebacker") who wanted to be the first caller in and win the thing wire-to-wire, but got the manual buzzer.
• Aaron in Canton
• Lance in Louisville, who attempted a sickly parody of a Neil Sedaka song!
• Ish in Memphis
• Jesus in Chicago
• Casey in Pensacola
• Ryan in Wichita
• Alex in Salt Lake
• Eddie in Boise, who is actually the raison d'être for the Hack-Off, aka the "Eddie in Boise Invitational".
• Fabian in LA

The best that can be said about the Hack-Off was that it got the hashtag #ValKilmer to trend on Twitter.

Listen to 2013 Hack-Off (may require Jungle Insider subscription).

Meanwhile in the PHL: Kamala Cup playoffs

GO CENTS GO!!

While hockey fans in the macro-world are watching the Stanley Cup playoffs, the Patrienish Hockey League crowned a new Kamala Cup champion: the Arboria Beavers hoisting the prized mug, defeating the Lazuria Black Barons four games to two in a hard-fought final round.

In the first semi-final round, the Castoropolis Centurions - making their first playoff appearance since 2005 - faced the Lazuria Black Barons. The Centurions, aka the Toronto Maple Leafs of the PHL, were huge underdogs going into the playoff round, expected to fall in five games, if not a four-game sweep. But the Cents, after being down 3 games to 1, took the Barons to 7 games, losing the seventh and deciding game on Lazurian ice 5-4 in overtime after blowing a 4-1 lead early in the third period! Fans in Centurions Nation are expecting big things from the green and white next year!

In the other semi-final, which also went the full seven games, the Arboria Beavers out-dueled the Centralia Crusaders. The Beavers then went on to knock off the Barons in six games - five of which were decided in overtime - to take the 2012-13 Kamala Cup back to the Precinct of Arboria. And yes, they played a full regular-season schedule. No lockout in this league!

2013 Hack-Off and Smack-Off

Jungle Party house leader Jim Rome announced that the 5th annual Hack-Off and 19th annual Smack-Off will air on June 7 and June 14 respectively. The Smack-Off is an annual competition in which select listeners are invited to provide their best “Smack Talk.” The contest, controversially won in 2012 by MMA fighter Chael Sonnen, is a way to recognize the best callers to the show, as well as a means of determining the best caller of the year. Participants in this year's Smack-Off will appear on the Jungle Party list for Patria's 2014 election and will be awarded seats in the 50th Congress according to the percentage of the Jungle Party's popular vote on election day, April 19, 2014.

One week before the Smack-Off, the Hack-Off takes place: the annual competition between the worst of the worst Jim Rome Show callers. The winner of the Hack-Off, i.e. the "best of the worst" wins an automatic berth in the Smack-Off.

Will Chael Sonnen defend his "King of Smack" title? Will the Hack-Off winner make it to the end of his or her Smack-Off call without getting the manual buzzer? Will past Smack-Off winners such as Vic in NoCal, Iafrate, Brad in Corona and Jeff in Richmond come strong and show that they have enough game to win seats in the 50th Congress? Tune in to PMBC-1152 and your local CBS Sports Network affiliate on Friday, June 14 from 9:00 AM to noon Pacific time, noon to 3:00 PM Eastern time, or 1600 to 1900 UTC.

Election Day one year away!

Actually one year less a day. On April 19, 2014 Patria will elect the 50th Congressus Patriaë (L Con. Pat.). To state the obvious: election campaigns in Patria drag on almost as long as those in the United States. But unlike in the USA, there are waaaaaaay more than two big-tent tweedledum/tweedledee parties to choose from. Election day is on a Saturday, so fewer folks will have the excuse of not being able to take time off work in order to vote. Not to mention that Patrienish Congresspeople are elected by proportional representation. None of that stupid first-past-the-post garbage that results in so-called "majority" governments receiving much less than 50% of the popular vote and millions of wasted votes in the US, Canada and the UK.

Are you ready for Campaign 2014? Let's crank up the hot air for the 50th Congress. It's a marathon, not a sprint!